Would you believe it's taxing to play the arc of bipolar romanticist who goes off the deep end and is willingly and intentionally killed in a duel? Because it is, I've now realized, having performed the first of scant four performances as Tuzenbach (my dream role! and now I've remembered why) in Three Sisters. In response to your question, "how did it go?" it went extremely well. We had a healthy audience of I believe 66, which now that I think about it is probably the biggest house I've performed to since... I mean, it must have been Rosencratz and Guildenstern Are Dead at the Footlight Club the last time, which is ironic. And here I am, as the producer pointed from that prior production pointed out, saying things! And they seemed to follow along, and laughed at the funny parts, which are surprisingly frequent considering it's Chekov who is supposed to be all down and dour but in reality is pretty hysterical.
My mother came to see it, and although her review is of course quite biased, if I were to select a tagline from it she called it "a transcendent production" or something to that effect. And I agree it's very good. Everybody on that stage really acts their asses off, and it's such a pleasure getting to watch them doing so.
And for my own part, really going for it tonight, I felt it in a way I hadn't previously. I think of my teacher Scott Zigler, who asked me in the culmination of my studies with him after I had just done a scene where my scene partner put me in an incredibly uncomfortable position he asked "and how did that make you feel?" Not in any kind of wonky psychoanalytical way, just what was that experience like? And it was very difficult. It was uncomfortable. And it worked because the character was uncomfortable, and I was in an indirect way experiencing what the character was experiencing.
Which brings me back to Tuzenbach, who experiences the culmination of years of dreaming and fantasy... he gets to marry his beloved Irina, and to go off and be good workers and pursue happiness. Except she doesn't and can't find it within herself to love him. And because of that, more than the realization of his dream becoming meaningless, he's driven insane. And so he provokes the duel with Solyony and so dies. At least that's my take on it.
And it's especially taxing because I've known people who've felt that way, some of whom are no longer with us. Not that I draw on those experiences to create the role, but I can't help thinking of them. And that brings me back to that acting class, where Scott said "acting isn't always fun, sometimes it's stressful and if you want to do it professionally you have to be committed to do doing the work well, even when it crosses that threshold" or something to that effect. And that's true. And I felt that tonight. And I'm very proud of my work on this production. I can now say I've had the opportunity to play one of my dream roles. The next one probably being Konstantin in the Seagull... who boy does that guy go through some shit. And there is no question, he deliberately goes off and kills himself. OK I take it back, Trofimov in the Cherry Orchard would be good too, I'll take that instead. And even if none of those other dream roles ever come to fruition, I'll be able to say I had Tuzenbach and that is something to be proud of.
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