Over the past few days I've taken all the footage of mine I could collect off of Youtube and Vimeo from the various film and web video projects I've done in the past three years, and have been going through the arduous but satisfying process of cutting them together into a usable demo reel. Mind you, I have a demo reel, but since making it I've acquired some new footage, and some new perspective. Where before, I cut something together rather cheaply, this time I've been much more methodical with my iMovie cutting. I'm on draft 5 or 6 now, draft 4 is up on Youtube and so is draft 5 I think, but set up where you can't find them unless you have a link.
Stop me if this isn't interesting to you. Actually, don't bother, just stop reading all together. This ties into several things I've been ruminating about as of late, producing and taking pride in my own content, and the sense one has as an actor of "a legacy" or an impact in the longer terms of making a career and the even broader question "what does it all mean"? It's sort of a paradox but not really because the word is just too pretentious for it's own good... the way that I think live theater is capable of much more impact and meaningful change in people's lives (or so I'd like to believe) but that film, which is so often crass and commercial, is the longer lasting, sometimes even immortal medium. Of course there are crass and commercial theatrical endeavors, and films of aching truth and beauty. But I think of the theatrical work created in a given year, even as it dwindles and diminshes, versus the slate of movies that are made or come out in a given year, which ironically as theater declines are becoming much more accessible with digital cameras and the internet... that the theater has more of that "truthiness". But what do I know?
This is a prelude to the big question, as an artist, where do you focus your energy? Wherever the work is, haha! Yeah it's sort of a silly answer, but it's a silly question too, because you only have so much choice. Unless your driven to create your own stuff and your own opportunities. Which brings me to point B, creating my own stuff. In case you were unaware, I made my first video blog. A big part of this was an exercise in being front of a camera as myself, filling space, and being comfortable while I do it. I would say I'm actually pretty good at hosting gigs, I can be funny and charming as needed, and generally know how to work a crowd. I say having hosted a couple of different events over the years. And I could probably also be better at it, if I had opportunities to practice. And eventually, if I can get good and get the right opportunities, it could be quite lucrative. And the nature of technology today is, I don't need an audience to practice, although audiences make it easier. Probably, if my on camera career were to take off, I'd be put in situations where I'd be hosting against a green screen or on an empty sound stage. And because I have a web cam, I can start honing that skill now. Eventually, I'd like to record little scenes and monologues and actual scripted content.
Speaking of which, I mentioned the podcast Making It with Riki Lindhome previously (the episode I was referring to at the time was with Malcolm Barrett) and in the latest installment she talked to writer/director/member of The State Robert Ben Garant, and it's fantastic and inspiring and if you want to write your own stuff you should listen to it.
For me, writing is still hard. For a long time I could write lots and lots of poetry, but most of it wasn't very good. Now that I've become more aware of how I would like to envision my voice by doing all this acting and improv and that brief foray into stand up, I really want to start doing my own comedy writing and making my own videos. This would be with the full knowledge that probably my initial attempts will not be good. But Picasso had to practice before he became Picasso. You have to produce junk before you can learn how to make anything good or interesting. And the sooner you start, and the more you do, the sooner you'll be better.
So back to editing my reel, it's been a fun creative exercise in stringing moments together (and figuring out iMovie and by extension the principals of editing). And it ties back to that question of legacy, because this is the sum of a quadrant of my work as an actor, and the direction I think I want to take it in. It's funny, every time I finish a version, I start to think "OK this is the one" but then I look at it again and say "actually this could be better..." and so I'm on draft number 6. I think this one I'll put online and show to some more people to get feedback. OK here it is. Tell me what you think, if you've read this far. It's sort of redundant, because I should be getting in some more new footage and will have to redo it soon. But hey, fun creative excercise! Enjoy those as they come, before it's just work. And even still, enjoy them.
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EDIT: Since writing the part up top, we had our third performance of Three Sisters, and it was super intense and satisfying. During my big climatic pre duel to the death scene, I felt as in the moment as I've been through this process and my scene partner shed a tear. It was legitimately very moving. I think what it was, for me, was that I finally brought all of Chekhov's poetic language about trees and our slavish existence to fate all together finally and brought it down for Irina as a way to try to make her feel better about what I had to do and that's what the scene is really all about. I'll blog more about it later, our second performance is tonight!
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