Careful what you wish for

Would you believe it's taxing to play the arc of bipolar romanticist who goes off the deep end and is willingly and intentionally killed in a duel? Because it is, I've now realized, having performed the first of scant four performances as Tuzenbach (my dream role! and now I've remembered why) in Three Sisters. In response to your question, "how did it go?" it went extremely well. We had a healthy audience of I believe 66, which now that I think about it is probably the biggest house I've performed to since... I mean, it must have been Rosencratz and Guildenstern Are Dead at the Footlight Club the last time, which is ironic. And here I am, as the producer pointed from that prior production pointed out, saying things! And they seemed to follow along, and laughed at the funny parts, which are surprisingly frequent considering it's Chekov who is supposed to be all down and dour but in reality is pretty hysterical.

My mother came to see it, and although her review is of course quite biased, if I were to select a tagline from it she called it "a transcendent production" or something to that effect. And I agree it's very good. Everybody on that stage really acts their asses off, and it's such a pleasure getting to watch them doing so.

And for my own part, really going for it tonight, I felt it in a way I hadn't previously. I think of my teacher Scott Zigler, who asked me in the culmination of my studies with him after I had just done a scene where my scene partner put me in an incredibly uncomfortable position he asked "and how did that make you feel?" Not in any kind of wonky psychoanalytical way, just what was that experience like? And it was very difficult. It was uncomfortable. And it worked because the character was uncomfortable, and I was in an indirect way experiencing what the character was experiencing.

Which brings me back to Tuzenbach, who experiences the culmination of years of dreaming and fantasy... he gets to marry his beloved Irina, and to go off and be good workers and pursue happiness. Except she doesn't and can't find it within herself to love him. And because of that, more than the realization of his dream becoming meaningless, he's driven insane. And so he provokes the duel with Solyony and so dies. At least that's my take on it.

And it's especially taxing because I've known people who've felt that way, some of whom are no longer with us. Not that I draw on those experiences to create the role, but I can't help thinking of them. And that brings me back to that acting class, where Scott said "acting isn't always fun, sometimes it's stressful and if you want to do it professionally you have to be committed to do doing the work well, even when it crosses that threshold" or something to that effect. And that's true. And I felt that tonight. And I'm very proud of my work on this production. I can now say I've had the opportunity to play one of my dream roles. The next one probably being Konstantin in the Seagull... who boy does that guy go through some shit. And there is no question, he deliberately goes off and kills himself. OK I take it back, Trofimov in the Cherry Orchard would be good too, I'll take that instead. And even if none of those other dream roles ever come to fruition, I'll be able to say I had Tuzenbach and that is something to be proud of.

Times Flies When You're Busy Doing Stuff

OK, time to blog! And so much so far this week worth blogging about.

For one thing, I had a callback on Monday for Rosencratz and Guildenstern Are Dead. How'd it go? Pretty good! OK can I be honest? I feel a little weird blogging about it, because it was for Apollinaire and having worked there this past year I sort of know all those people and it feels weird blogging about our interactions because well, they might read it, right? That's the point of blogging, so people read what you write. So I do have more of a point of view then "pretty good", for example I could have prepared better. But, I was in the show, so I kind of know it. I guess I did have one epiphany worth sharing that I don't feel weird about. At the very end of the show, Rosencratz and Guildenstern realize they are going to die and they turn to the Player for answers. But, he doesn't have any for them. Guildenstern in a fit of rage, frustration and powerlessness, pulls the Player's own knife on him and threatens him with it, ultimately stabbing him (seemingly) to death. I was going over the side, trying to figure out "What does Guildenstern want and why?" and I realized it was purely vindictive, in the face of his own powerlessness he wants to feel more powerful than someone else, to take hold of some kind of control in the face of an absurd universe and the most available individual is the player. Now, maybe that's wrong, but that's what I was feeling in the audition. And I thought "man that's really heavy stuff, to be face to face with your own absurd, meaningless existence and imminent death, then to take that rage and vent into the most available human being by harming them". Now to be fair the player is kind of despicable. He prostitutes a young boy, literally. But I mean man, that's just so raw. And I don't think I was able to get that across. So probably I didn't get Guildenstern. We'll see. Whatever the case, much love to my Apollinaire peeps, I'll be back in the fall for our revival of Uncle Vanya.

Speaking of which, Uncle Vanya was nominated for three Eliot Norton awards!!! Outstanding fringe theatre production, outstanding direction in a small/fringe theatre and outstanding performance for my friend Ronald Lacey as Astrov. Man, does that feel good to say. All three feel good for different reasons. I'm super proud of and happy for Ron. I mean, he's my buddy, we were in this show together and now he's been nominated for this super prestigious award, how could I not be? And also of course the same goes for Danielle, who brought such a wonderful light touch to the material and really made the most of the space and the staging concept (and brought me in to begin with). And I feel a sense of pride in myself for being a part of it, I really feel like I'm part of our nomination for outstanding production... because hey I was part of that production! And in an integral way, obviously not more integral than anyone else, that's not what I mean. But if this had gone to a show where I was just a spear carrier, I wouldn't feel this way. I just feels great after the fact that I was included the way I was in the staging concept, with my guitar playing and then serving as the role of guide on the Serbeiakov (I totally butchered that spelling) estate. So yeah, super happy about that.

Fast forwarding to yesterday, that was quite eventful. I may not have mentioned it explicitly, but I'm not part of one of six one act plays premiering Friday, April 27th as part of Six Playwrights in Search of a Stage at Roxbury Repertory Theatre. The play I'm in is called The Apology and it's about incest! Sounds fun, right? It's actually a good challenge. On paper, it sort of looks like a Lifetime movie but reading it aloud it kind of feels like an echo of August: Osage County or something. And taking a very dramatically heightened situation like that, a son confronting his mother over the rape of his older sister by his older brother, trying to find an answer to the question "how could you let this happen?" and really grounding that, and trying to make it truthful and real... it's going to be a great acting challenge. And it's only 7 pages long, so that's a bonus. So far, the director and the actress playing my mother have been great. I'm really excited to dig into this piece.

After that was the second session of Auditioning for Film and Television with Carolyn Pickman over at CP Casting and I've already gotten my money's worth. I was looking over a side as a grocery clerk in a crime drama and I said to her "what do I do to nail this?" and she told me "look for the second choice, not the most obvious one, but the second one and do that". In this case, the most obvious choice was an "oh shit" reaction when the matriarch of a criminally connected family tries to give me a counterfeit bill. But instead, I played the first beat a little light "Oh, I'm sorry miss I can't take this" then when that doesn't work, "oh shit, what am I going to do" because the majority of auditioners are just going to be saying "oh shit" for the whole thing. If you can find that second beat though, you'll stand out. This fits with what Scott Zigler taught in Practical Aesthetics, find one tactic, then when it doesn't work, find a completely different one, and so on. So anyway, it's been great so far. I'll try to pepper in any more easily digestible nuggets as they come up.

Then after that, I played music with people for the first time in ages. Two thirty something dudes near where I live by Porter Square, and we just jammed on some blues and classic rock tunes. All Along The Watchtower, Sunny, Jammin, etc. And it was a good time. One of them plays rhythm guitar and sings, the other plays bass, so as a lead guitar kinda guy, I was a real good fit. And that felt great.

All in all, things are feeling good. Hey by the way, Crooked Arrows is being featured on Extra tomorrow, so check that out. Well, I know, it's Extra so I don't blame you if you don't. After it does, the official trailer will be released, so do check that. Until then, au revoir.