Theatricaling

Oh my... so! Let's blog some shit! Yeah!

What have I been doing? Uncle Vanya, that's what, five times a week for the past four weeks, that's how much. After tonight's show, a young guy introduced himself to me, and complimenting my guitar playing, asked "so how is doing this show for you? Stressful?" and I said "stressful? Shit no. I hang out, play some guitar, chill out back stage, do my three lines, play some more guitar, hang out some more, do a few cues off stage and then have a beer." And that's the way life should be. My friend Anne, who's playing Nanny, said to me the other night "you're probably ready to play a bigger role now, right?" And thinking about it, I've made so many little discoveries with the music from night to night, and with my few little interactions on stage, as "small" as my part has been I've got nothing to complain about. Especially with my guitar playing... I've gotten to be so much better of a musician from this show. There's something very pure and simple about jamming out on a few russian folk tunes for thirty minutes every night, solo on stage. You really do develop a different level of chops playing in front of people, which despite the fact that I've been playing since I was 17 (which is what, six or seven years now?) I haven't done that much of in my guitar playing career. So that's been really satisfying. And hearing myself develop and change how I approach the music night after night, finding new nuances, new variations, new ideas in these simple melodies. Again, totally solo. And in front of crowds of thirty people, which forces you to focus and when an idea gets tired move on from it because even though it's a very private moment on stage, ultimately I'm performing for a room full of people. Among other things, I hope it's really solidified my confidence as a musician. As an actor, I have no problem doing my thing in front of people because that's what it's all about. But like I said, I haven't done a lot of live music performance before this and the times in the past when I had I used to get surprisingly nervous, believe it or not. But I think I have my sea legs under me. And it helps I played these tunes for the entire duration of the last run of the show, and now coming back to them and playing them for four more weeks I really know them in and out.

And I've discovered so many new things in the process about playing the classical guitar, for the first three weeks of the run completely with my fingers, a technique I've become light years more comfortable with (again that thing of chops from playing in front of people) and now this week I've started bringing my very anachronistic plastic, bright red "jazz" style guitar pick on stage with me (jazz style in this case refers to the dimensions of the pick which are very small and subsequently make it ideal for the kind of precise technical stuff you'd be doing in a jazz setting, that's it) and discovering brand new things in the process.

So that's all been very fun. Don't tell the cast, but I've been meaning to sit down and record all of this music at home to make a nice CD to give everyone as a memento of our experience. Oh wait probably some of my cast will read this... well don't tell those other people! Or do, and then they'll be expecting it and I'll be forced to put up or shut up and get it done this week because only five more shows to go, oh my god!

In other news, I've begun auditioning for things as opportunities that fit within my schedule have been springing up. In between the relatively close proximity of this show with Rosencratz and Guildenstern and that show with Three Sisters, I haven't been able to audition for a lot of things I would have liked to have gone out for, but oh well. And now I'm doing the winter intensive at Shakespeare and Company, which is very, very exciting, but limits even further what I'm able to audition for. But, now things are coming down the pipeline that don't start rehearsing until February, and as they trickle through Stagesource I've been responding. What are they? I don't feel like saying, because two of them I didn't get and the third isn't until next weekend and I don't want to go and jinx it!

Other than that, with Uncle Vanya wrapping up I can look forward to getting out and seeing more of the local theatre (with a Boston accent, theatuh)! This afternoon, I made it out to 44 Plays for 44 Presidents from Bad Habit Productions and directed by my buddy, Jeff Mosser! Who I interviewed about it! So I was pretty excited, because the last show I saw from Bad Habit in this same space, Much Ado About Nothing With A Twist was awesome so I'm a fan of the company and of Jeff. How was it?Well, I can't be critically distant because it's Jeff, but I liked it! It brought up some really interesting questions about how we interpret history and also the darker epochs that reveal themselves of colonial aggression, genocide, racism and war that make up the fabric of American history. I mean, have you ever thought that essentially the entire political climate beginning from the decision to allow slavery to be abolished in the North and continue in the South was one big build up to the Civil War? One of the most violent conflicts in world history up that point? Have you? Well I did after seeing this show! Oh and it was very funny and entertaining. So I recommend checking it out! Here's a tagline for Bad Habit, "Both fun and thought provoking, 44 Plays for 44 Presidents is a People's HILARIOUS History of the United States!" There you go! Use it, I dare you.

Getting Back to Blogging

Dear Blog,

I'm sorry it's been so long since I updated you, especially compared to June and July when I'd been updating with such frequency. I guess it's beacause blogging for me is about processing, and when I have things to process I enjoy doing it in a public way, much of the time, while also flexing the old writing muscles which otherwise are neglected. Then again, since R&G closed I've had a lot to process. I've seen a bunch of theatre, gone on some auditions, did another reading of The Last Jews (which included my first visit to the Berkshires, my first King Lear, and getting to know my collaborators that much better) and performed a bunch of improv after over a month's hiatus. 

None of which though has really satisfied me like I'd hoped it might, and one thing I've tried to avoid processing is dissatisfaction because that's much less fun to read about then vicariously experiencing an artist who is satisfied by their art, and ultimately that is the product I'm trying to manufacture for your consumption, dear reader. 

Well goddamnit I'm going to update today (there are several unfinished drafts of things laying around) I'm over an hour early to a film shoot at CDIA plenty of time to tap on my iPhone. 

And I have a topic worth processing, my first significant audition in some time is this Wednesday for Stoneham Theatre's production of It's A Wonderful Life for it's ensemble. I've never seen the film version, I should probably watch it. Or at least skim the screenplay. So they want a monologue... What do I do? I have a few that might work, like my ancient standby Tom from Glass Menagerie. Or that piece from Crossing Delancey I've never quite gotten to work like I wanted.  I'm thinking of learning something new, before Wednesday, for a part in a show somewhat in my reach (I think) that would constitute kind of an important break, my first Equity show. So it's kind of stupid to learn something in three days and use this audition to test the waters. But you have to be working on stuff and trying it out and overall be taking risks. 

So that's what I'm processing. I brought some plays with me to Waltham, where I am killing time before a shoot, writing this blog, watching a father and daughter feed ducks. I realized writing this, I need to get back into blogging for the sake of process and the experience and joy of writing. Writing and creative output is like mining a river for gold I feel like sometimes. You need to keep going back to it and you'll get ounces of dirt for every gram of gold but so be it, that's how you get at the good stuff.

Being Satisfied

So you might have noticed a recent Facebook post debating the merits of attending an audition when you've been wait listed. I might as well just tell you the audition was for Actor's Shakespeare Project. Before my focus was sort of reoriented towards film and television, my pipe dream had been to work with that particular company. I think as actors (or any kind of artist), it's important to have those pipe dreams, as well as tangible more easily realized immediate goals and to keep them in perspective with another. I would almost argue that they function best in sort of an inverse proportion to one another. That is to say, if your "pipe dream" is something way far out like be a movie star and it's a fantasy you actively engage with to the point of thinking "what would be the necessary steps" which is something I do with pipe dreams and practical goals a like, a good practical goal would be say getting cast in a community theatre production or getting a call back, I don't know. Everyone works differently. But for me, and I believe this is true generally, it's important to remain focused on the here and now, the immediate steps you can be taking to better yourself as an actor and advance your career... while also allowing some mental space to think "oh but what if". Anyway, for a while I was sort of fixated on being hired by Actor's Shakespeare Project. In pursuit of this goal, I actively sought out opportunities to work with and study under their company members. You might know I was in Paula Plum's workshop production of The Blue Room or when Jennie Israel came to Harvard to do an undergraduate production of Measure for Measure I auditioned (and by the grace of my prior collaborators at Harvard was cast as Elbow) and then went on to take their class they teach, Shakespeare Workout. I realized though, to be honest, I'm not good enough at Shakespeare to perform it at a professional level. Also, seeing some ASP shows, I could tell I just wasn't at that level as an actor and so allowed that pipe dream to go up in smoke. Speaking practically, I'm also just not really the type that they cast for right now as a comedic character actor. Shakespeare is full of those kinds of "clown" type roles, and as a company they have a lot of actors who are good at performing them. And in particular, my big niche right now especially in terms of professional theatre are generally adolescent or post adolescent type roles with nerdy or intellectual or outsidery character traits and those are less of a thing in Shakespeare (and more of a thing in film/television right now, so the switch in pipe dreaming).

Keeping all of that in mind, I was hesitant initially to request a slot for ASP's non equity auditions... but then I thought "what the hell". And then I heard back and I was wait listed. I went over the pros and cons, posted the issue to Facebook, etc and in the end no one ever got anything by not trying, am I right? It's also a piece of advice I give to actor friends who want to audition for something they couldn't get a time for, because of scheduling or if it's an AEA thing or whatever.  Just show up, ideally as early in the day as possible and say "hey I'd really like to audition, can you squeeze me in?" Because if you want something you have to go after it, and in the nest of baby bird's the loudest most obnoxious one gets fed first. Which isn't to say be obnoxious, be extremely polite and try to learn and remember people's names and stuff. But be persistent, and hopefully the people giving out worms will notice that and maybe you'll get one. Or not.

Anyway, I showed up right at 10 AM and held the door for Allyn Burrows as he entered the theatre which made me feel sort of like I was accomplishing something even if I wasn't. And after waiting about 45 minutes, someone cancelled for 3:36 and I was in. This was sort of an issue though, because my weekly guitar lesson is at 3:30... but it's in Porter Square and this was in Central and it lasts about an hour so if I get in at 3:36 I can probably be there by four... I thought to myself... and am I going to get another chance? OK I'll take this one. Went home. Went to the gym. Tried to nap a little. Headed back to the theatre around 2:45... and waited. They were running way behind, like twenty minutes more like thirty by the time I auditioned at 4:05 or so. This seemed to be because the three minute audition slots were turning into 5 or over audition slots as Allyn worked stuff with people in the room as is his right as the auditor. I got in, said hi to Allyn and Jennie, handed my stuff over and did my truncated Claudio from Stagesource. I had worked on the scene in SWO with Jennie and Allyn had been in the room for one of those sessions, so if nothing else I wanted to show them "hey, here I am still auditioning and here is where I'm at with my work and this piece" which took like forty five seconds, then Allyn made a comment "she's not buying it, is she" in his typical Allyn Burrows manner, they thanked me as I was on my way.

I ended up missing my guitar lesson. I didn't get any feed back or performance adjustments. It was kind of an all day thing. Leaving the theatre, it was not hard to think "well what was the point of that?" but now I think, and I believe "I did some good work in that room". I really think I did what I wanted to do with the piece, and showed them what I wanted to show them and that's pretty good. And it's probably better they just sent me off, because they were totally in the weeds, so I can count it as a mercy to my fellow auditioners who were able to go home sooner.

So I'm just going to be satisfied with what I did. Even if I don't get a call back, for the reasons listed above and since they must have auditioned like a bajillion people yesterday, I learned something from the experience about how to be content with what happens and letting go of preconceptions. Now it's just about putting the next foot in front of the other.

EDIT: Also, shout out to the guy I ran into who reads this blog! Hey man! Also anyone else reading this who I might have seen or who was at ASP auditions yesterday. What was your experience like? I'm all about starting a dialogue.

Is it Spring yet?

One of the best things about living in New England is Spring. It's probably my favorite season. I guess tied with fall. And also, summer. Basically all the seasons that are not winter. I really enjoy going out in a light or medium coat. This is of course especially true after like five months of crappy weather, basically the stretch from November to somewhere in March where things start to turn...

And we are fast approaching that turning point! Exciting, yes? We had a few days in February where it got up into the 40s and 50s, and man were they delightful... more so than when the weather did that in November and December that was just creepy. But now that the days are elongating, the angles of sun light actually match up with those kinds of temperatures.

Speaking of Spring, that's when Crooked Arrows will be arriving at a theatre near you (if you live in select markets) May 18th! Wow so this thing I've been talking and thinking about will be becoming concrete and then onwards from there! I want to speculate on what this could mean for me, but I won't because I don't know and won't know until after it comes out so what good is speculating?

Meanwhile in the present, I did my second round of ADR yesterday. Fun fact: ADR stands for Automated Dialogue Replacement. I did a bunch of this in LA while I was out there, I think they wanted while they had me in person to just record a bunch of extra stuff while they could and it was actually a pretty fantastic experience, both in learning a new skill set and in collaborating with the film's director Steve Rash. This was also quite an experience, as this time I actually had to redo lines so that they synced up with my performance on camera, I essentially had to lip synch myself. Generally with Chad Bryan, because I had such a strong understanding of the character, I could knock out my stuff in at most three takes also depending on the complexity of the text at hand (some of his lines get pretty wordy) but this took me like ten or twelve takes to nail down the exact rhythm that I was saying the line at. Later on, I had to deliver one of my lines from a place of actual... sincerity. Generally, Chad is kind of a smug bastard. He's a big lacrosse nerd at heart, and he loves the game so much that he can't help but run around to all these prep schools and do his little online show of live commentary on the games and over the course of the movie he goes from viewing the Crooked Arrows as pitiful to really admiring them. And it's in a moment of sincere admiration that he talks about the conclusion of the typical sports movie cliches and delivers a heart felt line about how they won't give up. So I really had to drop down out of Chad... but I still wanted to fight to keep some of him in there, but stepping away from the cartoonish persona that I was dependent on to drive the character while keeping the shading of those characteristics... the best take and the one I assume they'll go with was the one where I was able to drop way out, and then at the end bring it back in. That also took me like ten or twelve takes to really nail down, and it was hard!

But I'm a better actor for it, and I'm glad that they decided to go back in and add that heart to my character. I think it will reflect better on the film, on Chad's role and on me as an actor in relationship to all of that. All in all from what I was able to glean, I think it will be a really entertaining family film. So that's that.

In other news, I had my audition for Three Sisters on Sunday, and I felt like it went really well. In the four major plays of Chekov of which I am a big fan, Chekov is probably my favorite playwright ever, there are maybe half a dozen roles I'm in a place age and I guess life wise to play right now. Konstantin in the Seagull being a big one, the young communist in The Cherry Orchard who's name I can't remember is another, and Tuzenbach and Andrei in Three Sisters are two others. And if nothing else in that audition, I got to play those two roles, just a few pages at a time, for a little while. And it felt very satisfying. Chekov is just such an actor's dream to play if you know where to look for the nuances of his writing which I frankly do because I had good teachers who taught me how. I can't make the callback on Thursday, which is unfortunate, but I felt like I put forward good work and the director said they would keep me in consideration and that's all I can hope for.

Oh and lastly, why can't I make it to callbacks on Thursday? BECAUSE THAT IS WHEN SWIMMING IN THE SHALLOWS OPENS. Holy shit. How long has it been? Like a month? A little less than that I think? Wow. This is going to be a great show. It hasn't really hit me yet, here we are in tech, this is the moment where everything really comes together. And then an audience enters the room, and BOOM ACTING *MAAAAAAGIC*. Seriously, it's going to be a great show, hopefully if you are reading this you got an email invitation but if not consider yourself invited! It's really been a fantastic experience with a fantastic group and I've been able to push myself to do things I've never done or thought I would have been capable of a few years ago.

So come see it. That's all for now, ciao!

Getting There!

Swimming in the Shallows is swimming along towards our opening March 8th... holy crap that's soon! Well, it's not too soon, because I think the show has been in really great shape. This week for me was about tying my performance down to Earth, to the reality of the character's situations and really listening to my fellow actors. I think my best strongest assest as a performer is the energy I bring on stage, I'm full of it! This works well for a lot of my roles, it helps me do what I do comedically and when I can really focus and harness it, I think it makes me particularly well suited for certain kinds of film roles (when Crooked Arrows comes out, you'll see what I mean). Sometimes this can get in out of hand, especially in a fast paced show like this one, with a heightened reality and heightened language. At times it's almost reminiscent of my old friend, the farce. But it's not! And I realized that was the mistake I had been making, was to treat this material as if it were out sized and non realistic... which it is, to a point, but the characters don't know that. Nick doesn't think it's strange that he would be in love with a shark, to him it's completely a part of his world. And this is true of everything he says to the characters, so I've been thinking of each moment where my energy had been getting out of hand, and sort of dying it down to the ground, "grounding it", so to speak.

And I think it's been working! I think. My director, Scott, sent me some notes on some sections where the connection to the situation and to the characters can be stronger so my work this week will be to make those connections really as solid as they can be. And now that we're all off book and the show is picking up steam, really running it and polishing it and all that good stuff. Like I said, the show is in a really great place, having been in as many shows as I've been in, I feel pretty competent about that.

Another breakthrough from this week, my fellow actor playing the Shark and I crossed over into actually doing our same sex kiss. And you know what? It's not that big of a deal! I mean, of course it never was, but hey this stuff can be pretty hard and awkward. I'm glad we didn't rush into doing it, because it feels more meaningful and truthful now that we've had time to develop the characters and generally get to know one another. I think it's going to be a great, truthful, touching moment. Exciting!

In other news, I've contracted the services of a monologue coach and I've been thinking about what pieces to start working on for potential usage in Stagesource and also for other auditions that are coming up. What auditions, you ask? Well today I auditioned for Bye Bye Liver: The Boston Drinking Play. It sounds like it comes in a mold similar to a Fishnet, Flanagan's Wake, you know Shear Madness knock offs but with more a sketch element and less of a narrative through line. I thought it went well! I'm pretty good at sketch stuff, and I read for a drag queen, which is strangely enough one of my strong suits... moving on, the auditions on the horizon are The Three Sisters at Footlight Club, directed by Caitlin Lowans who's directing the Romeo and Juliet I blogged about auditioning for in Stoneham. Three Sisters is one of my favorite plays, since it's by Chekov and he's probably my favorite play write. It also has one of my favorite roles of Chekov's, one which is on my sort of actor's bucket list of roles to play at some point in my career, Tuzenbach. If you've read Three Sisters, you know what I'm talking about. The other big audition is Coriolanus with Commonwealth Shakespeare Company. This will be second time auditioning for CSC, I have no particular reason to expect that my audition will warrant a callback or what have you. But hey it's worth a try! If nothing else, I can try and get my pieces down to two minutes and make it a test run for Stagesource.

In other, more guitar related news, I've been dabbling again in recording. A few weeks ago I bought a new recording toy, a Shure X2U XLR to USB signal adaptor. I think it sounds pretty good, technical mumbo jumba-what aside. Give it a listen, if you'd like.

Preparation!

It's February, and this year that means that Stagesource just did it's lottery thing and assigned time slots to actors participating in their annual auditions. That's right ladies and gentleman! Coming to you this April, the biggest and most important cattle call of the year!

Actually though, they are a pretty big deal, and can make a big difference for an up and coming actor in the next year of work if you can do a good enough audition with the right people in the room. Of course, like everything acting related, there are so many things out of one's control that can if you allow them to, turn the event into an exercise in frustration. Even if a company is casting a show which you would be a great fit for say, it's pretty up in the air if they'll be in the room when you go up. I mean I think these auditions last like ten hours on both days, and most people understandably just don't have that kind of stamina. And like any audition, there are certain things you can control, what did you eat the day of, are you get well rested, are you dressed appropriately, did you prepare prepare prepare. But then if someone cuts you off and gives you the finger on your way over? You spill coffee on yourself? The neighbor's dog keeps you up half the night and your cranky this morning? You can't control any of that! You can't control how the room will be set up. You can't control people using their cell phones. You can't control the person before you doing a screamfest of an audition about... I don't know, watching their dog get raped by aliens (if you are reading this and wondering what kind of piece to do, don't do anything with screaming or about sexual violence, just don't do it). Or alternatively you can't control the person before you killing with their comedic chops and making you look bad.

All the things you can't control! Of course fellow actors you know this. And the best thing you can do is carefully choose pieces that showcase you and which you have fun doing, prepare the hell out of them, and act the hell out of them. So that's where I'm at, the first step which is choosing material. Of course I have a stock of monologues I can do... but those have been shown around town. BUT I know I can do them really well. Then again, there are other monologues I've been wanting to get down to working on and should I take this opportunity to really polish a new piece or two that won't have been seen by anyone before? Who do I go to for potential monologue coaching? I need to start figuring this stuff out. Because last year I was not as well prepared as I could have been, and my presentation suffered for it. That's OK though, because if you've done Stagesource or any cattle call of that nature you know they are a different animal then your typical audition, two or three or four people at a table in a room and that's it. This is bigger, higher stakes, etc. You probably won't nail it on your first try. But this is my second attempt, and that is my objective. Nail that shit. Calderwood Pavilion, April 2nd 5 o'clock... here I come.

Waiting...

My week of Uncle Vanya performances and other auditions has come to a close, and now the hard part... waiting. I've probably talked about this before, the anxiety I feel sometimes when I don't have a project lined up that I know I'll be occupying myself with in the present or near future. I've been aware of it from the beginning, and this weekend it really dawned on me that Uncle Vanya will come to a close. And now that we're out of weekend 2 of 4, next is weekend 3 and then the final performances. Out of the course of this past batch of auditions, I've been hoping to have something lined up, and now that they are all over and with varying degrees of perceived success or failure attached to them, I just have to wait for the phone to ring or the rejection email to land in my inbox. Speaking of which, isn't that irritating when they say "we'll get back to you" or "we'll let you know either way" and of course you don't... and after a few weeks you get the message. But that's just one of the realities of the acting world, nothing to be done about it.

Anyway, let's do a run down. Monday was the Miracle Worker; perceived sense of success to failure ration, let's say 6 out of 10. I thought I did pretty well, but I have no connections to the company and I'm sure they have a sizable existing roster of actors my age and there are all kinds of factors completely out of my control mostly having to do with the "type" they want to cast in the role, etc, etc.

Friday was Crimes and Crimes, perceived ratio 3 or 4 out of 10, I went into my 10:45 AM audition slot having had no coffee (always a mistake) and was probably too big, broad and general in the audition and I got the sense that the auditor just didn't like what I was doing and dismissed me as such. As far as I'm concerned, that one is off the table.

Saturday was Hookman with Company One, and I'm going to say... 6.5 out of 10. I thought my monologue went over well, but at the same time I think I've done the same piece better in other auditions and was trying to recapture that rather then just being truthful in the moment etc. Then again, my side reading went very well, I was luckily (and maybe consciously? Who knows) partnered to read with my scene partner from when I did the scene study with Company One so we had an existing sense of comedic chemistry and were generally very comfortable reading on stage with one another and they laughed audibly multiple times during our reading. Again, I took the class with them, so hopefully they recognized me from that but again probably a lot of actors read for the one male role, so who knows.

Yesterday was Swimming in the Shallows with Salem Theater Company, and without putting a number to it, that's the one I'm most optimistic about. I auditioned for them over the summer, and they seemed to really enjoy my work, but then due to scheduling stuff with Crooked Arrows I couldn't make it to that particular call back. But this audition felt more like a call back, I had done some work on the sides ahead of time and I felt like I was really jiving with the director, who gave me several different angles of direction over the course of my working with him. It also seemed to be very thinly populated, only three people in my slot, the other two being women. But, again, there's no way of knowing. And here's to uncertainty!

One Audition Down!

Well, today was audition number one: Wheelock Family Theatre! How did it go? WHO FUCKING KNOWS! No, but seriously, pretty good I thought. Here's a play by play; the last few auditions I've gone on, I've been a few minutes late. In the past, it hasn't seemed like that big of a deal, time slots felt like they were pretty loose at the auditions I was going on locally. But at these two, and at one in particular where I got what came close to being a hard time when I was there right smack on my time slot but wanted a minute to look over a side and the producer or auditor or whoever was like "well you know your time slot is for 3:30 and I can give you a minute but you'll have less time in the room" so I was like "OK let's just do it, that's fine". For me, personally, as long as I roughly know what the play is about I don't find that having an extended period of time with a piece affects my cold reading skills since... it's a cold reading. Your basically making it up as you go along and trying to follow your instincts and a few additional moments with the words, for me anyway, doesn't have much bearing on my ability to do that. Anyway, since none of the postings or correspondence I'd gotten said any different, I kind of figured I would be reading a side for this audition, and hadn't thought about a monologue. I had skimmed the play, the parts pertaining to my potential character particularly, and sort of knew what his deal was. Did I mention the play is the Miracle Worker, and the character the older half brother of Helen? Anyway, I was determined to be early for this one, my appointment was for 4:50 and I got to the green line platform at Park St around 4, a D train came a few minutes later and I was on my way to the Longwood T stop, a few minutes from the theatre. Except then the train went out of service at Fenway, a stop away from Longwood, I consulted my Iphone and decided the quickest thing was just to walk from there since it's basically the same distance and I would avoid getting a new train and going just one stop on it. Thank god for my Iphone, by the way, because I have a terrible sense of direction. I'm pretty good at following directions, and I've used Google Maps a hundred times to find a hundred different auditions, potential apartments, restaurants, stores, etc. Taking a different T-stop, I got a little turned around in the Fends, but found my way to the theatre at about 4:35, 4:40 and was brought in early. You see, they had slotted ten minutes per person, but they wanted a monologue. I assume it was a monologue, and not two, since they had never specified when I got up on stage I heard a "whenever your ready" from the director and said "Oh? You want a monologue? OK this is from The Glass Menagerie" and launched into Tom's speech to his mother. Mind you I was completely unprepared, still a little sniffly, my throat a little parched and my hands still thawing from the cold, but I've done that piece so many times I can basically pull it out of thin air and that's what I did. I gave it a solid beat of silence at the end, then turned to the auditors who seemed to be nodding and saying "yeah, pretty good" (subtext: for someone who didn't know they would be doing a monologue) and they said their "thank you, we'll let you know either way, might be a call back later" schpeel. And that was that!

In other news, reviews have started coming in for Uncle Vanya. If you read blog posts I don't link to from Facebook, then you might have seen one I wrote about secretly wishing in the back of my ego to have a reviewer comment on the effect of my guitar playing in our show. Well, right after I wrote that, I encountered Larry Stark's review on his Boston theatre website Theatre Mirror and this is from the beginning of the review: "Take for instance Mike Handleman playing a house-servant, with no lines to speak of. He turns up in several scenes, fetching things, but mostly learning to play a guitar. But when the farm's overseer comes in, the guilty snap with which he jumps up and bows, doffing his cap, defines not only him but an entire society." Hey! A positive notice! In a review! Of a play where I had next to no lines! This is a legitimate first for me. And it made me feel pretty proud. It doesn't reference the guitar playing as doing anything in particular, but it's cool that a little moment I came up with made that kind of an impression.

Larry's review as a whole was especially glowing, and so far all the press has been positive. The Globe review did not mention me by name which is fine, and felt to me... I don't know, kind of contrarian, the reviewer took issue with the translation (which I think is pretty good) and a few performances (which I also think are good) but hey, critics are critics. So far all the shows are selling out and audiences are enjoying themselves, and that's what matters.

Audition A/Audition B

Well, Our Town came and went. It was a pretty fantastic experience, every performance had some new discovery for me, and overall it was maybe the most satisfying live theatre experience I've yet to have in my career. That's pretty funny, considering I never thought I'd be doing Our Town when I was younger and if I knew I was I'd be more likely to guess I'd be playing George Gibbs and not Mr. Webb, but life is always full of unexpected surprises. I met some great people, made some new friends whom I hope will stand the test of time. It's an experience I'll look back on for a long time.

Also ending this past week, was Company One's Professional Development for Actor's class, which has been taking up my Tuesdays these past eight weeks. Yet another learning and growing experience, where I met a whole different group of talented individuals whom I hope to see in the near future. Tuesday was our show case, and we kicked it's ass! Particularly, I received positive feed back from audience members for a scene I did from Biloxi Blues, where the naive Neil Simon analogue (played by Matthew Broderick in the movie) loses his virginity to a prostitute. I also did more dramatic scenes from The Glass Menagerie (playing Jim! Jim and not Tom! Another role I wouldn't expect to find myself in) and Dinner With Friends by Donald Margulies both of which I was very happy with. Another great experience, worth reflecting on for some time.

The title of this post reflects my day today. This morning, I went to the BCA for Meals For Monologues, an event organized by CP Casting where actors could donate dried or canned goods to do two minutes of material in the form of a monologue for Carolyn Pickman of CP Casting and the head casting director for LDI Casting in Rhode Island. Prior to leaving my apartment this morning, I had thought I would use a piece from Crossing Delancey a romantic comedy where a pickle salesman tries to convince his more up town love interest of his inherent worth and to make him see what about him is lovable. I've only really used this piece once though, and knew it would be a risk to use it in this context and instead decided to go with a much more well worn and comedic piece from Suburbia by Eric Bogosian. My thought process was that they would be seeing a whole bunch of heavy handed "dramatic" monologues all day, and it would make more of an impact and also play more to my strengths as an actor to do something comedic. One possible complication, I hadn't used this particular piece in months, and I was standing in line waiting to go in for my two minute time slot, I had to think "wait how much of this piece do I actually remember?" and dig through my brain for all the verbs and wording and such not. If going up by myself in front of a couple of influential New England casting directors wasn't enough pressure, now I had to make sure I actually knew my piece, which I did but it made for a serious adrenaline cocktail.

Standing outside the door of the audition, I applied the Alexander Technique I've been working on these past few months to relieve my tension, get centered and find focus as well as put myself in a place to present my best self, the confident person with good posture and stuff. With the help of the technique and the need to do well, I went through the door, focused my adrenaline and hit the piece out of the park. It was probably the best I've ever done with the piece, I started out slow and simple and as the piece escalated and I felt the casting directors following my build up, discovered bits of physical comedy I hadn't done before and really worked each individual moment. At the end they were laughing out loud, and Carolyn told me "very well done" as I walked out the door. In short, I nailed it! Why couldn't I have done that in Stagesource? Oh well you win some and you lose some.

Later that night I had another audition back at the BCA with much smaller stakes, it just being for a small theatre company I think doing it's first real show in Boston, so I took that opportunity to test drive the other, more dramatic piece I rejected earlier in the day. If you put the two performances side by side, you might think they were completely different people because it was no where near the level I was performing at earlier in the day. This came down to several factors, I had none of the adrenaline I had earlier in the day. I've barely done this piece, I tried doing it sitting down which is not something I'd tried before or even rehearsed with. I really don't rehearse like I should for auditions, sometimes this pays off like it did earlier in the day, all the physical comedy came to me in the moment and it really worked because of it whereas in this case it caused me to more self conscious then necessary. I still felt OK about the audition, and afterwards I did a side which I thought was pretty good. Also considering the number of headshots I saw on the table, frankly I wouldn't be shocked if I got a call back but if not, oh well.

So that's a snap shot of where I'm at. Things coming up, a bunch of improv shows! I wrote last time about my front burner and back burner and improv is definitely going to get some time to itself now that I have Sundays and I'm not in the middle of rehearsing or performing a show. I am at the beginning of working on Uncle Vanya however, so that will be taking more and more priority as the weeks go by. And in the beginning of December, I'm doing a little Shakespeare scene recital thing with Hyperion, a group I worked was an undergrad. It seems to me like life (like time) is relative, it only appears to slow down, but it never actually does.