First of all, let's think about the title of this piece for a second. Or don't, if you don't want to, like if you don't have the same filthy, perpetually sexually frustrated imagination that I do, you're not obligated to imagine me rubbing shoulders with a man named Alan as he achieves orgasm.
A fun fact though while I'm on this bodily riff, someone I told my Alan Cumming story to once related an anecdote that he'd tested a series of cosmetic and hygienic products, including a shampoo line called "Cumming In Your Hair", and I'm sure he thought about a face cream, am I right? Cumming On Your Face? Did I really need to type that? Well I did.
So I was actually inspired to write this by my friend and collaborator on a few projects (including my first ever play in New York) Mark Blickley and his piece Waiting For Robin Williams about a chance encounter with, you guessed it, Robin Williams, that left an impact in his life.
It got me thinking about an idea for a historical fiction novel series I had, imagining my own life and career through the lens of Horatio Hornblower or whatever, except instead of advancing through the British navy and fighting Napoleon while bearing witness to various historical events, it would be a young artist, it's a little convenient but let's say he's an actor, writer, comedian and musician who adventures through the art world and has his ups and downs and successes and failures personally and artistically, meeting the occasional famous people, observing events, etc.
This would be a scene from that series, one of my first acting jobs in New York was an extra on an Amazon Prime series, "The New Yorker Presents", the concept being a series of video pieces, filmed essays, short documentaries and sketches reflecting what you'd read in an issue of The New Yorker. I found this particular gig on Actor's Access, it was SAG affiliated, I'd literally just moved to New York and didn't have anything going on, so I took a weird random day of extra work for $50 bucks and trekked out to Brooklyn somewhere to be an extra in this comedy sketch featuring Bret Gelman (who's a comedian and character actor you can google, you might recognize him) as a homeless person imagining himself talking to God, as played by Alan Cumming.
Unremarkable anecdote, I was hanging out in craft services at the beginning of the day, loading up on coffee to tolerate waking up at like 6 am for the 8 am call time in Brooklyn and of course the free food because what else do you do on set, when Alan Cumming came in, and I didn't register it was Nightcrawler from X Men 2. I overheard later was unhappy about the lack of vegan options, which yeah you could say is diva-ish, but it's like, I'm sure his people communicated he was vegan and it's craft services job to make sure there's stuff for people to eat. So yeah.
Later we were on set, and I was assigned to pass by the shot of the two of them talking outside the grocery store where we were shooting the scene, and one of the passes Alan Cumming jumps up as I pass by and walks next to me, shoulder to shoulder, I imagine to try and create the effect of God disappearing behind this rather tall, messy haired, kinda brawny hipster looking Brooklynite who's walking by like he just doesn't give a fuck. Which I didn't! Part of that was my intention, obviously I was just doing background work, but I was trying to make my walk as naturalistic as possible and not regard the action happening next to me, like if you're going to be on set you might as well try and practice something, right? And additionally, I was going through a rather rough break up with my ex girlfriend who I'd left in Boston to pursue my acting dreams in New York, so I really didn't give a fuck. I was somewhere else. I gave negative fucks, and I wonder if they could tell from my "performance" and because of that and my look as a Brooklyn character I was chosen for that moment.
Or maybe Alan Cumming was fucking around? I don't know. Funnily enough, I really wasn't happy about being featured, because I worried it would effect my ability to be cast in the future if the show went to series (I believe this was for the pilot) if I was recognizable from this piece.
I also remember at the time as it was happening thinking "OK be cool, Alan Cumming is walking next to you, literally rubbing up against your shoulder, don't do anything different, don't change your focus, just keep walking until they call cut", and because I was an extra and like, as an extra you don't talk to anyone unless they talk to you except for the other extras and the PAs in charge of extra wrangling, I didn't say like "Hey, Alan Cumming, what was that beat just now where you walked next to me?" But I kind of wish I had, cause like, fuck it, I didn't deliberately rub shoulders with Alan Cumming, he got next to me.
I don't know where I'm going with this story. If you read Mark Blickley's piece, linked above and which I recommend, his chance encounter with Robin Williams ultimately lead to him taking a chance and getting his first literary agent through a series of events. Maybe if I'd reached out to Alan Cumming, something indirectly would have come of it (or cum of it, get it?) but probably not, and that's fine.
What's the moral of this story? I'm not sure. I just though it was kinda cool.
Thursday, July 20, 2017
Sunday, July 16, 2017
Making Connections
Making Connections
Hey blog.
Long time no blog.
I used to use this space to talk about my creative projects and reflect on the processes involved; this was like four years ago. I was actively updating, and then I went through a really harsh break up and fell out of the habit. Since then I've written a few posts, and a lot has happened to me personally and professionally.
Most recently, I made my Netflix debut.
Here I am in Friends From College.
Wait, that's actually not accurate, one of the films I have a bit part in, Crooked Arrows, was on Netflix for some time before the contract expired and they took it down. So I guess that was my Netflix debut. What came out this week was Friends from College, in which I have an even smaller bit part. But people are actually watching this, unlike Crooked Arrows which, to be fair, was targeted towards 8-13 year old lacrosse players anyway.
Fun fact, one time I got a random piece of fan mail to my email from this guy who watched Crooked Arrows with his kids. It seemed very sincere, like clearly it meant something to his family and he was like "who is that guy who plays the announcer? He does a good job, I should let him know." And my email is connected to my IMDB page, so that's probably how he got it. It was still kinda weird.
Anyway, Friends From College is especially cool because I play literally myself. Well I literally play the character I portrayed at the time at Jekyll and Hyde, where the scene is set and where I work in real life. And I mean, it doesn't take a lot to guess that it's because I work there in real life that I got the part in the TV show that happened to be shooting a scene there. It was a stroke of luck that I met the guy from the locations department who was scouting it, who got my info to casting, etc. Success in art really is a combination of luck and preparedness, all of my other acting roles in big things like this (I've had three now, total) were a similar combination of those factors.
And yeah, I'm really, really proud of it. And I'm really proud of the work I do at Jekyll and Hyde. There, I said it. Actually I say it all the time in Facebook posts detailing the various interactions I have with kids while I’m working there. If you're reading this, chances are good you know me, so you do you know this: I'm a devout secular humanist and leftist and I try to imbue that into my work with people. I always have in all of my jobs as a performer, be it running a trivia night (which I did for a while), as a historical tour guide on a Segway or in colonial garb (both of which I've done) or most recently as a character in a haunted theme restaurant.
I try to relate to people on some real level, like I see them, and I understand what they’re going through. I just ask them questions, where are you from, what are you doing while you're in New York, that kind of stuff. And I try to make them laugh, at me, at themselves and at each other. My new favorite bit I do as my mad scientist character (in the show I'm a butler but now I play a mad scientist) is I walk out onto the floor of the restaurant, and just cackle like a mad scientist, you know "BWA-HA-HA-HA!" and then I stop and say "I don't know why I'm laughing, sometimes what can you do but laugh, am I right folks?" but in my deep, sort of growley Dr. Horrible voice.
Yes, my character's name is Dr. Horrible. No, I don't have a sing along blog. That's part of the joke. Dr. Horrible’s backstory: Joss Whedon met me during the writer's strike and based a movie on me, but instead of having me play myself, he hired Neil Patrick Harris, my super talented and handsome arch nemesis. I do that bit when people ask me about it. It's very silly.
But I really believe that as a life philosophy, "Sometimes what can you do but laugh?" I acknowledge that in my case it comes from a place of economic and societal privilege. Like if I was homeless or truly hungry or desperate, I might notlaugh. But when something hurts, be it heartbreak or rejection (which, come to think of it, are the main forms of pain I experience) I try to remember it. And when people come to the restaurant, I try to share that with them, and just do whatever I can to make them laugh.
With the kids I do a little more. I very deliberately interact with them, almost to the point of interviewing them. I ask them their name, how old they are, I ask how them how that's going. Like, "Oh Suzy, so you're eleven. How's that going? Do you like being eleven?" Sometimes they say "yeah it's great". Other times they’re having a hard time, usually if they’re a few years older. They'll admit it’s not great, and I'llsay "Yeah I know, I totally feelz you dawg," again in my mad scientist voice. It's silly, I know, but I actually do. And I want them to feel seen by me at least, like the clown sees you, and wants to know what yourinterests are, what do you like in school, what are you doing this summer you're excited about, how are you really, that sort of thing.
I base a lot of my approach on an article I read a long time ago about how to talk to little girls. It suggests, instead of emphasizing their appearance, that we get to know them and appreciate their personality, what their interests and aspirations are, that sort of thing. Then, whatever they like, I'll try to engage with them about it. If they like math I'll do multiplication with them, or tell them how algebra is actually an Arabic word meaning "to bring into balance". If they like science I'll find out what they know or have learned and try to elaborate on it as best as I can, as the son of science teachers. There was a really sweet moment I had with a little girl this week. She was like 11, and when I asked her what her favorite subject was, she said writing. I asked her, what do you write? She said stories. And I said, oh, so you write stories? And she was like, yeah but just in school. And I said but still, that means you write your own stories. And she said, yeah I do write my own stories! With a note of brightness in her voice, like she might not have realized that was something she did, and could do.
Will that little girl grow up to be a writer? I'll never know, maybe not. But hopefully I gave her a sense of agency. I only remember that interaction because it happened this week. I've talked, at this point, to hundreds if not thousands of children, and had similar interactions. Other times it's less overtly inspiring, sometimes it's just something short or silly, or easy or difficult. I'm always trying for moments like that.
So it felt appropriate that at the same time as that bit of my Jekyll and Hyde character came out, I discovered this poem: Ode to the Women on Long Island, by Olivia Gatwood.
As a poem, I do have some mixed feelings about it. I feel like the author is speaking to a specifically white, middle class experience. But if that's her experience, she should speak to it. And as a feminist, when I come across art that speaks to the experience of women, where so much media is about men and masculinity in ways both direct and indirect, I really try to listen. And listening in this case, I realized I've met many of these women. And just like with their children, I try to relate to them as well, as much as I'm ultimately able to.
I talk a lot in my stand up, and in my life, about being a feminist. And as much as I might joke about it, and I try to remain mildly and appropriately self deprecating as a straight white cis male, I'm really not fucking around. The condition of women and girls is deteriorating globally before our very eyes (in spite of the progress we made in the 20th century), and it's up to all of us to stop it, to do whatever we can.
This video from the Population Reference Bureau does a good job of breaking down the statistics.
For me, it's telling jokes.
Long time no blog.
I used to use this space to talk about my creative projects and reflect on the processes involved; this was like four years ago. I was actively updating, and then I went through a really harsh break up and fell out of the habit. Since then I've written a few posts, and a lot has happened to me personally and professionally.
Most recently, I made my Netflix debut.
Here I am in Friends From College.
Wait, that's actually not accurate, one of the films I have a bit part in, Crooked Arrows, was on Netflix for some time before the contract expired and they took it down. So I guess that was my Netflix debut. What came out this week was Friends from College, in which I have an even smaller bit part. But people are actually watching this, unlike Crooked Arrows which, to be fair, was targeted towards 8-13 year old lacrosse players anyway.
Fun fact, one time I got a random piece of fan mail to my email from this guy who watched Crooked Arrows with his kids. It seemed very sincere, like clearly it meant something to his family and he was like "who is that guy who plays the announcer? He does a good job, I should let him know." And my email is connected to my IMDB page, so that's probably how he got it. It was still kinda weird.
Anyway, Friends From College is especially cool because I play literally myself. Well I literally play the character I portrayed at the time at Jekyll and Hyde, where the scene is set and where I work in real life. And I mean, it doesn't take a lot to guess that it's because I work there in real life that I got the part in the TV show that happened to be shooting a scene there. It was a stroke of luck that I met the guy from the locations department who was scouting it, who got my info to casting, etc. Success in art really is a combination of luck and preparedness, all of my other acting roles in big things like this (I've had three now, total) were a similar combination of those factors.
And yeah, I'm really, really proud of it. And I'm really proud of the work I do at Jekyll and Hyde. There, I said it. Actually I say it all the time in Facebook posts detailing the various interactions I have with kids while I’m working there. If you're reading this, chances are good you know me, so you do you know this: I'm a devout secular humanist and leftist and I try to imbue that into my work with people. I always have in all of my jobs as a performer, be it running a trivia night (which I did for a while), as a historical tour guide on a Segway or in colonial garb (both of which I've done) or most recently as a character in a haunted theme restaurant.
I try to relate to people on some real level, like I see them, and I understand what they’re going through. I just ask them questions, where are you from, what are you doing while you're in New York, that kind of stuff. And I try to make them laugh, at me, at themselves and at each other. My new favorite bit I do as my mad scientist character (in the show I'm a butler but now I play a mad scientist) is I walk out onto the floor of the restaurant, and just cackle like a mad scientist, you know "BWA-HA-HA-HA!" and then I stop and say "I don't know why I'm laughing, sometimes what can you do but laugh, am I right folks?" but in my deep, sort of growley Dr. Horrible voice.
Yes, my character's name is Dr. Horrible. No, I don't have a sing along blog. That's part of the joke. Dr. Horrible’s backstory: Joss Whedon met me during the writer's strike and based a movie on me, but instead of having me play myself, he hired Neil Patrick Harris, my super talented and handsome arch nemesis. I do that bit when people ask me about it. It's very silly.
But I really believe that as a life philosophy, "Sometimes what can you do but laugh?" I acknowledge that in my case it comes from a place of economic and societal privilege. Like if I was homeless or truly hungry or desperate, I might notlaugh. But when something hurts, be it heartbreak or rejection (which, come to think of it, are the main forms of pain I experience) I try to remember it. And when people come to the restaurant, I try to share that with them, and just do whatever I can to make them laugh.
With the kids I do a little more. I very deliberately interact with them, almost to the point of interviewing them. I ask them their name, how old they are, I ask how them how that's going. Like, "Oh Suzy, so you're eleven. How's that going? Do you like being eleven?" Sometimes they say "yeah it's great". Other times they’re having a hard time, usually if they’re a few years older. They'll admit it’s not great, and I'llsay "Yeah I know, I totally feelz you dawg," again in my mad scientist voice. It's silly, I know, but I actually do. And I want them to feel seen by me at least, like the clown sees you, and wants to know what yourinterests are, what do you like in school, what are you doing this summer you're excited about, how are you really, that sort of thing.
I base a lot of my approach on an article I read a long time ago about how to talk to little girls. It suggests, instead of emphasizing their appearance, that we get to know them and appreciate their personality, what their interests and aspirations are, that sort of thing. Then, whatever they like, I'll try to engage with them about it. If they like math I'll do multiplication with them, or tell them how algebra is actually an Arabic word meaning "to bring into balance". If they like science I'll find out what they know or have learned and try to elaborate on it as best as I can, as the son of science teachers. There was a really sweet moment I had with a little girl this week. She was like 11, and when I asked her what her favorite subject was, she said writing. I asked her, what do you write? She said stories. And I said, oh, so you write stories? And she was like, yeah but just in school. And I said but still, that means you write your own stories. And she said, yeah I do write my own stories! With a note of brightness in her voice, like she might not have realized that was something she did, and could do.
Will that little girl grow up to be a writer? I'll never know, maybe not. But hopefully I gave her a sense of agency. I only remember that interaction because it happened this week. I've talked, at this point, to hundreds if not thousands of children, and had similar interactions. Other times it's less overtly inspiring, sometimes it's just something short or silly, or easy or difficult. I'm always trying for moments like that.
So it felt appropriate that at the same time as that bit of my Jekyll and Hyde character came out, I discovered this poem: Ode to the Women on Long Island, by Olivia Gatwood.
As a poem, I do have some mixed feelings about it. I feel like the author is speaking to a specifically white, middle class experience. But if that's her experience, she should speak to it. And as a feminist, when I come across art that speaks to the experience of women, where so much media is about men and masculinity in ways both direct and indirect, I really try to listen. And listening in this case, I realized I've met many of these women. And just like with their children, I try to relate to them as well, as much as I'm ultimately able to.
I talk a lot in my stand up, and in my life, about being a feminist. And as much as I might joke about it, and I try to remain mildly and appropriately self deprecating as a straight white cis male, I'm really not fucking around. The condition of women and girls is deteriorating globally before our very eyes (in spite of the progress we made in the 20th century), and it's up to all of us to stop it, to do whatever we can.
This video from the Population Reference Bureau does a good job of breaking down the statistics.
For me, it's telling jokes.
Friday, April 28, 2017
Returning to the Blogosphere
To quote Simon and Garfunkel, hello blogger my old friend, I've come to talk with you again. Because actually this past year or so, I've been writing quite a bit, at the suggestion of my friend and acting teacher Michael Toomey. We met last summer (or maybe it was the spring? Let's say late spring or early summer) to work on some Shakespeare, at the time I had this idea (well I still have the idea it's just kind of dormant) to develop a piece exploring Hamlet through the lens of stand up comedy. I pitched this to Michael, and he basically said "Mike, why do you need to adapt Shakespeare's texts, can't you just write it yourself?"
And I haven't, at least not yet, but since that conversation I've been writing a lot more, mostly personal pieces not for public consumption exploring and understanding my own thoughts, but also some new poems... also not for public consumption, but maybe I'll put one up here sometime. Side note, did anyone reading this know me in high school when I published a body of poetry over live journal, most of which was awful? Good times but not really I was miserable in high school.
Anyway, I was reminded this thing I wrote in a few years existed, this blog, because the person I've been dating AKA my girlfriend has been reading Three Sisters for work, and earlier today we were talking about it and my experience playing Tuzenbach way back in 2013 for The Footlight Club and I remembered I wrote all these blog posts about the experience and I was like "holy shit, look at that, well this is interesting in a way I didn't think it would be at the time."
Because how could 23 year old Mike know in 2013 that 28 year old Mike would be interested in what he thought about Three Sisters? It's been so many years since I thought deeply about that play, I've done so, so much since then, including several break ups and relationships, starting a new life in a new city, finding my footing as a stand up comedian, a composer, and a writer, all this shit has happened and I feel so distant from that version of myself. But there he is, in those blog posts.
And here I am now, in this blog post, which maybe I'll look back on when I'm 33 and think "that's what I was thinking as a 28 year old?" Who knows.
I was really tickled by one of the lines in those Three Sisters blogs about how I didn't know if anyone would read it or find it useful or interesting besides my Mom (hi again Mom) because I do now, and hopefully my girlfriend does. And actually, not to toot my own horn but no actually I am giving myself a compliment, I had some pretty interesting insights into the arc of that character that I'd completely forgotten about, comparing him to Goethe's Young Werther and how he and Solyony are these mirror images of each other.
I wrote at the time that fundamentally they saw themselves as the heroes of there own stories, both romantic in nature, Solyony's vision of his story was epic and heroic whereas Tuzenbach's turns out to be a tragedy in nature, whether he means it to or not. That really resonates with me today. I think it's for us to relate to the world as the heroes of our own story, because we learn to relate to the world through stories in the form of films and television and I wonder if Chekhov or Shakespeare's audience was doing the same thing. Did they watch Hamlet, or Romeo and Juliet or The Three Sisters and imagine themselves as being analogous to those characters? David Wong writes at Cracked.com about how this kind of thinking creates a lot of dissatisfaction and misogyny, especially in men, who see stories about heroes accomplishing heroic things and being rewarded with beautiful women reduced to objects. Part of me thinks this is a fairly modern idea, and by modern I mean relating to the 18th century and romanticism, but then again story telling as a way of shaping how we see ourselves as a culture, a society and a people is a tradition as old as the spoken word, so who knows.
This relates to a lot of think pieces, you know the trendy ones about how millennial are garbage people who think there special because of course they are for being themselves? Which is something I'm guilty of, except wait I'm actually super talented, laugh out loud! Explicit arrogance! What is the tone of this piece supposed to be? Am I being satirical, self deprecating, or serious? Sorry I got caught in my head.
But I think that idea is in Three Sisters, Vershinin talks about it when he says that the sisters will pave a way for a new and better society. That these are characters are special and there lives are worthwhile, and Chekhov rather than giving us a straight forward dramatic story, shows the rhythms of people's lives on stage and how they give such great importance to everything they do, when in the end there just people and when the play is over, nothing is really different.
Having written this blog post, nothing is really different. I'm still not very good at ending my writing. But there is a document of me and my thoughts in this moment for you to read, and for me to read in the unknowable future, I'm curious to see what my thoughts are then.
And I haven't, at least not yet, but since that conversation I've been writing a lot more, mostly personal pieces not for public consumption exploring and understanding my own thoughts, but also some new poems... also not for public consumption, but maybe I'll put one up here sometime. Side note, did anyone reading this know me in high school when I published a body of poetry over live journal, most of which was awful? Good times but not really I was miserable in high school.
Anyway, I was reminded this thing I wrote in a few years existed, this blog, because the person I've been dating AKA my girlfriend has been reading Three Sisters for work, and earlier today we were talking about it and my experience playing Tuzenbach way back in 2013 for The Footlight Club and I remembered I wrote all these blog posts about the experience and I was like "holy shit, look at that, well this is interesting in a way I didn't think it would be at the time."
Because how could 23 year old Mike know in 2013 that 28 year old Mike would be interested in what he thought about Three Sisters? It's been so many years since I thought deeply about that play, I've done so, so much since then, including several break ups and relationships, starting a new life in a new city, finding my footing as a stand up comedian, a composer, and a writer, all this shit has happened and I feel so distant from that version of myself. But there he is, in those blog posts.
And here I am now, in this blog post, which maybe I'll look back on when I'm 33 and think "that's what I was thinking as a 28 year old?" Who knows.
I was really tickled by one of the lines in those Three Sisters blogs about how I didn't know if anyone would read it or find it useful or interesting besides my Mom (hi again Mom) because I do now, and hopefully my girlfriend does. And actually, not to toot my own horn but no actually I am giving myself a compliment, I had some pretty interesting insights into the arc of that character that I'd completely forgotten about, comparing him to Goethe's Young Werther and how he and Solyony are these mirror images of each other.
I wrote at the time that fundamentally they saw themselves as the heroes of there own stories, both romantic in nature, Solyony's vision of his story was epic and heroic whereas Tuzenbach's turns out to be a tragedy in nature, whether he means it to or not. That really resonates with me today. I think it's for us to relate to the world as the heroes of our own story, because we learn to relate to the world through stories in the form of films and television and I wonder if Chekhov or Shakespeare's audience was doing the same thing. Did they watch Hamlet, or Romeo and Juliet or The Three Sisters and imagine themselves as being analogous to those characters? David Wong writes at Cracked.com about how this kind of thinking creates a lot of dissatisfaction and misogyny, especially in men, who see stories about heroes accomplishing heroic things and being rewarded with beautiful women reduced to objects. Part of me thinks this is a fairly modern idea, and by modern I mean relating to the 18th century and romanticism, but then again story telling as a way of shaping how we see ourselves as a culture, a society and a people is a tradition as old as the spoken word, so who knows.
This relates to a lot of think pieces, you know the trendy ones about how millennial are garbage people who think there special because of course they are for being themselves? Which is something I'm guilty of, except wait I'm actually super talented, laugh out loud! Explicit arrogance! What is the tone of this piece supposed to be? Am I being satirical, self deprecating, or serious? Sorry I got caught in my head.
But I think that idea is in Three Sisters, Vershinin talks about it when he says that the sisters will pave a way for a new and better society. That these are characters are special and there lives are worthwhile, and Chekhov rather than giving us a straight forward dramatic story, shows the rhythms of people's lives on stage and how they give such great importance to everything they do, when in the end there just people and when the play is over, nothing is really different.
Having written this blog post, nothing is really different. I'm still not very good at ending my writing. But there is a document of me and my thoughts in this moment for you to read, and for me to read in the unknowable future, I'm curious to see what my thoughts are then.
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