Another day, another opening. Wait, it's the last opening of the year! Let's take a moment and reflect on all the shows I opened this year, there were a lot of them.
The Muse at Turtle Lane, Savage/Love at the Julie Ince Thompson/Cambridge Dance Complex, The Blue Room at the BCA, The Underpants at the Arlington Center for the Arts, Measure for Measure at the Adam's Pool Theatre, The Mousetrap at the Arsenal Center for the Arts, The Muse (again) this time at Theatre Row in NYC, Rosencratz and Guildenstern Are Dead at the Footlight Club, Our Town at Riverside Theatre Works and now Uncle Vanya at Apollinaire.
Oh and I guess I should mention the film things... there was Welcome to the World (if you haven't seen that, here it is) then there was The Ex Factor which has yet to come out but is in the process of being edited and was my first real lead in a film/web series thing, then I shot that Emerson short that (of course) I never got a copy of...
And then there was the big one, Crooked Arrows, the trailer for which will be coming out soon and you can all see me acting real silly. Doing all that stuff, I sure did meet a lot of new people. I wonder if this year I met the most new people of any year in my life, or at least made a connection to the most people I ever have in the work we did together. I'm proud to say that for this entire year, I was constantly working on something and making some forward progress. Like, oh yeah, graduating from college. This past year was absolutely jam packed with happenings. It's hard to predict these things, but I bet in the future, 2011 will have been a turning point in my life. I feel like I've turned a corner and am on the path to a higher level of self awareness and hopefully success. I'm allowing myself all this optimism... that's not like me. Or wasn't like the "me" that I was a few years ago, after everything that had happened. But in spite of all that stuff, here I am and better for it. It's strange to try and process all of it, I wonder if it's worth even trying. Well, I've made a go of it.
Here's to next year being just as incredible, 2012 has a lot to live up to.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
The First Laughs
I'm writing from backstage of the final, invited audience dress rehearsal of Uncle Vanya. We are getting our first laughs! People are enjoying themselves! It's a great feeling, and I wanted to preserve it, in blog form.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Directing
Reading other people's blogs lead me to realize that someone with whom I've been collaborating had collaborated with previously another person with whom I had also collaborated in a production which meant a great deal to me, and upon looking up found pictures of I didn't realize existed and... wow. What a trip down memory lane. Oh I guess I'll tell you it was John Kuntz's blog, the person is Adam Stone and he directed the production of Pericles I did several moons ago, which... man what an incredible show that was. I don't even know how to describe it. We turned the entire theatre into Diana's temple. It was there the entire time under white butcher paper, and then at the most pivotal moment she came to Pericles and revealed it, and it was just amazing. I also got to play a bad guy, a really, really bad guy, which was awesome. And I had one of my most incredible on stage experiences. OK so basically Pericles is this Mediterranean prince during like the Roman era and he's traveling around and he comes to Antioch and the court of Antiochus to try and marry his daughter, who is renowned for her beauty and stuff. Except Antiochus, who is super evil (and in our version wore an Iron Maiden shirt and was super metal, if you've seen my Iron Maiden shirt that's where it's from) has this riddle and if you can't figure it out he chops off your head, except the answer is that he's having sex with his daughter, which Pericles realizes and manages to squirrel his way out of. After that, Antiochus comes back super pissed that he figured it out and plots to kill Pericles. So the second night, I wasn't feeling it so much as the previous night and was trying to do something different so I took a rubber head from my pile of heads and was addressing my speech to it but then I thought "this isn't working it's too Hamlet" at which point I threw the head against the ground in rage... it being rubber, it bounced off the ground, spun in the air above my head and came back down... right back into my hands.
The crowd erupts in laughter. It takes all my will power as a performer to keep it together, wait for the laughter to go down to start my next line and put the head back down onto the table which is on stage with me. That was one of the most incredible, serendipitous acting moments I've ever had and since I got started about Pericles, I had to share it.
And then thinking about Pericles and more recently Our Town both of which were fantastic productions due in large part to the strong directorial visions of Adam Stone and Jason Weber respectively, got me to thinking about directing. When I really start thinking about it, I think it's something I would like to do, except... I'm afraid. I directed a few scenes for classes while I was an undergrad, but I've never directed an entire piece. Part of what intimidates me is that I feel before I could really do something I would need a work that spoke to me on such a deep level that I could find a story within it that absolutely had to be told. Or something pretentious like that. Basically I would need to find something that I really, really like. But that I feel is within my power to pull off. For example, I really like Othello. There is no way I could pull that show off though as a director. It's up there with King Lear and Hamlet on the "difficult to make work" scale. Part of me also feels like I couldn't resist my own urge to act, and I would inevitably cast myself and be unable to effectively direct myself or the play at the same time and everything would inevitably suffer.
Still, I imagine it would be an incredible experience... having that level of ownership and creative control over something, to be able to conceive and execute a vision all your own (with the help and influence of numerous collaborators, of course) and see that on stage. Maybe, probably, someday. In the meantime, I can fantasize.
The crowd erupts in laughter. It takes all my will power as a performer to keep it together, wait for the laughter to go down to start my next line and put the head back down onto the table which is on stage with me. That was one of the most incredible, serendipitous acting moments I've ever had and since I got started about Pericles, I had to share it.
And then thinking about Pericles and more recently Our Town both of which were fantastic productions due in large part to the strong directorial visions of Adam Stone and Jason Weber respectively, got me to thinking about directing. When I really start thinking about it, I think it's something I would like to do, except... I'm afraid. I directed a few scenes for classes while I was an undergrad, but I've never directed an entire piece. Part of what intimidates me is that I feel before I could really do something I would need a work that spoke to me on such a deep level that I could find a story within it that absolutely had to be told. Or something pretentious like that. Basically I would need to find something that I really, really like. But that I feel is within my power to pull off. For example, I really like Othello. There is no way I could pull that show off though as a director. It's up there with King Lear and Hamlet on the "difficult to make work" scale. Part of me also feels like I couldn't resist my own urge to act, and I would inevitably cast myself and be unable to effectively direct myself or the play at the same time and everything would inevitably suffer.
Still, I imagine it would be an incredible experience... having that level of ownership and creative control over something, to be able to conceive and execute a vision all your own (with the help and influence of numerous collaborators, of course) and see that on stage. Maybe, probably, someday. In the meantime, I can fantasize.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Chappy Channukah
I think Channukah is kind of weird but intriguingly post modern holiday but not in the way that it's become overly ironic which makes it both more entertaining and in other ways banal </thesis statement>.
I say this as a person who considers them self at least... I don't know, 25% culturally jewish and 50% genetically jewish. The genetics of course I have no control over, but the cultural stuff I do. At least to a greater degree, as they go hand in hand to a certain extent. Unless I wanted to change my last name from "Handelman" and get a perm to unjewfro my hair, some portion of the culture at large would realize "oh hey that guy, looks kinda jewey". But I also admire the civil right proponents, Allen Ginsbergs, Woody Allens and various other secular aspects of American jewish culture so I like maintaining some amount of cultural jewery that emphasizes those aspects while also not believing in God or supporting the state of Israel... or ever going to temple in my life (and of course then not having been barmitzved)... or circumcised... TMI?
OK! MOVING ON! Channukah has started. For you non jews out there, let me give you a brief history of the holiday, which is believe it or not, not especially significant in jewish religious practice or in the pantheon of jewish holidays. Channukah means "the festival of lights" and its significance to the old testament goes back to the Macabes when there was various religious strife with other non judaic groups in the region and there was this whole rebellion thing and they killed a bunch of people (this is the flow of the old testament, it's pretty dark and violent in places). Oh and then they wanted to relight the lights in the temple after taking it back from the heathens, but there wasn't enough oil, but instead it lasted longer, like eight days and it was a miracle of energy efficiency (or did someone just do a really good job of rationing their olive oil? Like when your making italian and your down to the bottom of the bottle and you can't get to the grocery store till the weekend, you make do).
In the latter half of the 20th century, primarily secular American jews of the middle class wanted to assert their post WWII American jewness and give their kids some presents around Christmas while also being jewish about it. This sort of goes in the face a little bit of jewish habits of assimilation with gentiles which took place over the thousands of years of history of jews in Europe when they weren't be killed or killing one another, but hey it's a new century and to these people getting in touch with their jewness with festive presents and latkes and chocolate coins and shit was important. And that's cool. I like those things. Especially up as a secular humanist, in my family we were into any kind of religious event that involved presents and food and stuff (this basically meant celebrating Channukah for a few nights maybe, then having Christmas and maying do a seder for Passover but also chocolate eggs on Easter but never any fasting or not eating leavening products because fuck that).
But thinking about it now... I don't know. It's all in good fun, but it feels kind of silly. I guess religious celebrations are inherently a little ridiculous, when you really stop and think about them. But they also give life and human civilization texture. Channukah though is basically Christmas-like replacement product for Jewish folks to enjoy, a Kosher winter solstice, if you will (without the pagan symbols or orgys or whatever... wait a minute I'm getting an idea for a mash up "everybody gather round the mistle toe and menora for the winter solstice fuck fest"). But, I mean, couldn't you just celebrate Christmas? Yeah OK jewish kid you get 8 days of presents but does anybody ever actually follow through and give out eight presents over eight sundowns and light all those fucking candles? Just pack it into one day, one glorious morning of tinsel and colorful paper and a new X-Box you know? Christmas is so far removed from Christianity, it's ridiculous. The whole way in which we celebrate it, with the Christmas tree and the feasting and shit, it's pretty inherently paganistic anyway. So I suggest we throw in the towel. And if you really want have a god damn menora, I guess.
*A note, this was meant to be my attempt at writing a humor piece while meditating on my relationship to my jewishness during this time of Channukah so don't get offended and let me know if you liked it*
I say this as a person who considers them self at least... I don't know, 25% culturally jewish and 50% genetically jewish. The genetics of course I have no control over, but the cultural stuff I do. At least to a greater degree, as they go hand in hand to a certain extent. Unless I wanted to change my last name from "Handelman" and get a perm to unjewfro my hair, some portion of the culture at large would realize "oh hey that guy, looks kinda jewey". But I also admire the civil right proponents, Allen Ginsbergs, Woody Allens and various other secular aspects of American jewish culture so I like maintaining some amount of cultural jewery that emphasizes those aspects while also not believing in God or supporting the state of Israel... or ever going to temple in my life (and of course then not having been barmitzved)... or circumcised... TMI?
OK! MOVING ON! Channukah has started. For you non jews out there, let me give you a brief history of the holiday, which is believe it or not, not especially significant in jewish religious practice or in the pantheon of jewish holidays. Channukah means "the festival of lights" and its significance to the old testament goes back to the Macabes when there was various religious strife with other non judaic groups in the region and there was this whole rebellion thing and they killed a bunch of people (this is the flow of the old testament, it's pretty dark and violent in places). Oh and then they wanted to relight the lights in the temple after taking it back from the heathens, but there wasn't enough oil, but instead it lasted longer, like eight days and it was a miracle of energy efficiency (or did someone just do a really good job of rationing their olive oil? Like when your making italian and your down to the bottom of the bottle and you can't get to the grocery store till the weekend, you make do).
In the latter half of the 20th century, primarily secular American jews of the middle class wanted to assert their post WWII American jewness and give their kids some presents around Christmas while also being jewish about it. This sort of goes in the face a little bit of jewish habits of assimilation with gentiles which took place over the thousands of years of history of jews in Europe when they weren't be killed or killing one another, but hey it's a new century and to these people getting in touch with their jewness with festive presents and latkes and chocolate coins and shit was important. And that's cool. I like those things. Especially up as a secular humanist, in my family we were into any kind of religious event that involved presents and food and stuff (this basically meant celebrating Channukah for a few nights maybe, then having Christmas and maying do a seder for Passover but also chocolate eggs on Easter but never any fasting or not eating leavening products because fuck that).
But thinking about it now... I don't know. It's all in good fun, but it feels kind of silly. I guess religious celebrations are inherently a little ridiculous, when you really stop and think about them. But they also give life and human civilization texture. Channukah though is basically Christmas-like replacement product for Jewish folks to enjoy, a Kosher winter solstice, if you will (without the pagan symbols or orgys or whatever... wait a minute I'm getting an idea for a mash up "everybody gather round the mistle toe and menora for the winter solstice fuck fest"). But, I mean, couldn't you just celebrate Christmas? Yeah OK jewish kid you get 8 days of presents but does anybody ever actually follow through and give out eight presents over eight sundowns and light all those fucking candles? Just pack it into one day, one glorious morning of tinsel and colorful paper and a new X-Box you know? Christmas is so far removed from Christianity, it's ridiculous. The whole way in which we celebrate it, with the Christmas tree and the feasting and shit, it's pretty inherently paganistic anyway. So I suggest we throw in the towel. And if you really want have a god damn menora, I guess.
*A note, this was meant to be my attempt at writing a humor piece while meditating on my relationship to my jewishness during this time of Channukah so don't get offended and let me know if you liked it*
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Priscilla continued
A few more thoughts on Priscilla Dreams the Answer. First, the name of the director was Melanie Garber, I guess that's kind of an addendum. My other additional musings have to do with the script. I'd thought not too long ago, "I wonder if there is such a thing as a play that is too short?" Everybody has been to plays have been too long, far too often in fact this is a major problem with plays in general. I guess part of this is our the ADD addled go go nature of our society, and that we have limited attention spans, all that stuff, but also don't make sit still in one place for a really long period of time because that's uncomfortable, you know what I mean? Anyway as a rule I believe less is more, shorter is better. And Priscilla Dreams the Answer is a pretty short play, it's about an hour long, which I admire and enjoyed about the play. But... I almost wonder if this is a case of a play being too short by even five or ten minutes, during which time I would have liked more backstory or more of a sense of character behind the second lead character/romantic interest James (I think his character was named James? Right? Let's go with that). I found that his character was introduced, Priscilla follows him on the game shows she quirkily enjoys and which he bounces around and then he enters Priscilla's life and you know everything that happens in the play happens. He's an interesting character, but where we have a strong sense of who Priscilla is, and even her boss and the aliens all have motivations which I felt I had a grasp on, but James was... I hate to say it, a little two dimensional? He has this quirk that when he goes through this process of internal searching he can answer any question and the play doesn't explain how or why that is and I actually appreciated that about the text and he takes his greatest comfort in empty TV sound stages, sounds good. But I don't know, other then a desire for companionship and his quirky love of bubble wrap, what is it about Priscilla that he connects to? I'm not really sure.
Overall I felt the play to be a collection of components all very artfully put together with strong characterizations, well written dialogue, I mean everything is good. But it didn't feel original, it felt like a pastiche of quirkiness and existential crises. And today, I figured it out, KURT VONNEGUT! Science fiction? Check. Humanism in the face of absurdisty? Check. Quirky characters? Check. It's like a very artfully adapted and staged but lost Kurt Vonnegut short story. This isn't really a criticism, but an observation. However I do feel that the most lasting pieces of drama are essentially original in some way, but I what do I really know.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Losing my Factory Virginity
Can you believe that before tonight's performance of Fresh Ink Theatre's "Priscilla Dreams the Answer" I had never seen a full production at the Factory Theatre? It's bizarre to think I still haven't done a show there, since it's where so many of the fringe groups in Boston regularly perform and I am at this point a member of the fringe theatre community, so what's up with that? One excuse is that I'm yet to be cast in a show at the Factory, but that doesn't explain why I've never seen a show there. Oh well, that's just because I'm lazy. But I'm working on that!
So anyway, I thought maybe it would be nice to see Priscilla Dreams the Answer, it would fulfill my weekly play quota and I'd be supporting a new company. It wasn't really cinched though until I saw it had a write up in the review throughly applauding the production at which point I was like "shit well fine I'll buy tickets for Saturday" which I did and subsequently, this evening, I lost my factory virginity. Mind you I've been in the space once or twice before, and I'd always kind of wondered "how do you stage something in here?" The answer, like that, and I didn't even have to dream it!
BUT SERIOUSLY FOLKS, what did I think of the play? I liked it a lot. One thing which annoyed me was my own fault which was choice of seating, directly parallel with the couch where a bunch of the action took place, particularly a few key scenes, left me cut from the actors but that's just an issue of the cramped space and not anybody's fault. Overall I thought the real hero of the piece was the direction, which was very strong throughout. The director, who's name escapes me and because I'm not a professional reviewer I don't feel obligated to look it up, really nailed the pacing and tone of the script so that interconnectedness of the characters and the absurdity and universality of their situations shone through beautifully. Various moments, in particular the various dream sequences, were also just beautifully staged. The acting likewise was top notch, the ensemble really came together, even if at first the guy with the beard's wacky hobby shop owner didn't convince me at first by the end I was fucking sold. And oh man, that ending. Given the content of the script, which to me was fun and insightful and quirky and everything, but not really new or a revelation, shouldn't have gone off that successfully. But man, something about that ending just punched me right in the gut, just that last moment with the two of them asleep, something about that moment just brought a little tear towards my eye but not all the way out. Making my way through the piece, I was thinking "this is really funny and interesting, am I going to get some of that heavy duty you-only-get-this-in-theatre catharsis we're always looking for? Yeah I did, I have to say. I did. And for that the production receives my applause.
So anyway, I thought maybe it would be nice to see Priscilla Dreams the Answer, it would fulfill my weekly play quota and I'd be supporting a new company. It wasn't really cinched though until I saw it had a write up in the review throughly applauding the production at which point I was like "shit well fine I'll buy tickets for Saturday" which I did and subsequently, this evening, I lost my factory virginity. Mind you I've been in the space once or twice before, and I'd always kind of wondered "how do you stage something in here?" The answer, like that, and I didn't even have to dream it!
BUT SERIOUSLY FOLKS, what did I think of the play? I liked it a lot. One thing which annoyed me was my own fault which was choice of seating, directly parallel with the couch where a bunch of the action took place, particularly a few key scenes, left me cut from the actors but that's just an issue of the cramped space and not anybody's fault. Overall I thought the real hero of the piece was the direction, which was very strong throughout. The director, who's name escapes me and because I'm not a professional reviewer I don't feel obligated to look it up, really nailed the pacing and tone of the script so that interconnectedness of the characters and the absurdity and universality of their situations shone through beautifully. Various moments, in particular the various dream sequences, were also just beautifully staged. The acting likewise was top notch, the ensemble really came together, even if at first the guy with the beard's wacky hobby shop owner didn't convince me at first by the end I was fucking sold. And oh man, that ending. Given the content of the script, which to me was fun and insightful and quirky and everything, but not really new or a revelation, shouldn't have gone off that successfully. But man, something about that ending just punched me right in the gut, just that last moment with the two of them asleep, something about that moment just brought a little tear towards my eye but not all the way out. Making my way through the piece, I was thinking "this is really funny and interesting, am I going to get some of that heavy duty you-only-get-this-in-theatre catharsis we're always looking for? Yeah I did, I have to say. I did. And for that the production receives my applause.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Remaining Thankful
I feel like this post (as I mentally compose it) belongs it some kind of shitty self help book or motivational lecture, but here we go anyway because it's true.
Thanksgiving is over, for the moment we are technically in the midst of "the holidays" (for the moment, just wait until January, then February and what I'm talking about will truly manifest) and from a perspective of societal conditioning it's a time of year meant to reinforce our senses of gratitude, which as the over privileged members of the wealthiest, most sophisticated society in the history of the known universe we tend to lose sight of, and focus on our "first world problems" (I really enjoy that phrase because it's so true).
I for one am guilty of this, I always have been. It becomes especially difficult to remember that life is fundamentally good when it's as dark and cold outside as it gets during the winter in New England, and to forget about the great things one (in this case, me) has going for one's (my) self.
This is particularly true given the state of the world we live in, we have this incredibly wealthy, technologically sophisticated society and in our own borders people go hungry, can't afford or are even denied access to the right to a decent education (this is especially criminal in our public schools which are being devoured alive by the same forces behind ineffective charter schools which are propositioned as "the answer" but are really just a means to funnel state money into profit making eduventures but that is another post).
Even though Thanksgiving is over, here are things I'm grateful for. My health, running water, electricity, my very comfortable apartment, living in Cambridge, having a supporting family, my girlfriend, my acting career, being part of what's going to be a great production.
Last night especially I lost sight of all that, and was grumpy at the various tasks allotted to me as part of my not exclusively acting related role in this particular production. But then again, I'm working on Chekov, in a great theatre, with a great group of people and so many actors would kill for that opportunity so what do I have to complain about, really?
Exactly. Turning it around to buddhism for a moment... just that. Be in the moment. Appreciate what's in front of you, from the socks on your feet to the breath in your lungs. Seriously. Do that right now. OK continue worrying about things outside of your control, I do it, everybody does it and it's inevitable and futile. Now be in the moment. Repeat. Life isn't so bad. In fact, it is inherently good. That is the only thing resembling a religious mantra I require.
Thanksgiving is over, for the moment we are technically in the midst of "the holidays" (for the moment, just wait until January, then February and what I'm talking about will truly manifest) and from a perspective of societal conditioning it's a time of year meant to reinforce our senses of gratitude, which as the over privileged members of the wealthiest, most sophisticated society in the history of the known universe we tend to lose sight of, and focus on our "first world problems" (I really enjoy that phrase because it's so true).
I for one am guilty of this, I always have been. It becomes especially difficult to remember that life is fundamentally good when it's as dark and cold outside as it gets during the winter in New England, and to forget about the great things one (in this case, me) has going for one's (my) self.
This is particularly true given the state of the world we live in, we have this incredibly wealthy, technologically sophisticated society and in our own borders people go hungry, can't afford or are even denied access to the right to a decent education (this is especially criminal in our public schools which are being devoured alive by the same forces behind ineffective charter schools which are propositioned as "the answer" but are really just a means to funnel state money into profit making eduventures but that is another post).
Even though Thanksgiving is over, here are things I'm grateful for. My health, running water, electricity, my very comfortable apartment, living in Cambridge, having a supporting family, my girlfriend, my acting career, being part of what's going to be a great production.
Last night especially I lost sight of all that, and was grumpy at the various tasks allotted to me as part of my not exclusively acting related role in this particular production. But then again, I'm working on Chekov, in a great theatre, with a great group of people and so many actors would kill for that opportunity so what do I have to complain about, really?
Exactly. Turning it around to buddhism for a moment... just that. Be in the moment. Appreciate what's in front of you, from the socks on your feet to the breath in your lungs. Seriously. Do that right now. OK continue worrying about things outside of your control, I do it, everybody does it and it's inevitable and futile. Now be in the moment. Repeat. Life isn't so bad. In fact, it is inherently good. That is the only thing resembling a religious mantra I require.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Failures in Life and Baking
Things I'm not good at, part 1 section 1: Baking. Case in point, for Adia's birthday she asked for a carrot cake. I hadn't really thought this through, but I thought "we have carrots, eggs, flour, etc". I looked up a recipe online, and came across several issues. I realized recently that'd stopped consuming eggs in our apartment, I enjoy eggs every once in a while but if I were to make a list of things I am OK but not great at, cooking eggs would be one of them. For a while Adia had eggs every day with her breakfast, but this has teetered off, so this carton of eggs had been sitting in our fridge since October and had past it's sell by date sometime in that month. Earlier this month though when we went grocery shopping, I knew I would be making crab cakes, a recipe that involves eggs, so even though it's less economical I bought a half dozen pack of eggs (this is starting to sound awfully long winded bear with me). A few days before the carrot cake incident, we were sort of celebrating early, so I thought I'd try making merengues again, which I had attempted several months ago to mixed results (I didn't really bake them long enough, or properly integrate the sugar into the egg whites, or something, they kind of collapsed). This time it did go better, so I guess I'm not awful at baking. I can separate egg whites, beat them to stiff peaks, add sugar and vanilla and sort of bake them in 250 degree oven. And they came out OK!
When it comes to baking, I have problems with patience. With the previous merengue attempt, and also with the more recent one, I probably should have let them bake a little longer. In general in the past when not baking from a box, I tend to get impatient and pull things out before they are done (this was not the case with the carrot cake we'll get to that later). I guess I was impatient with the carrot cake incident, in that I looked up a recipe, and it required 4 eggs of which I had 3. Mistake number one. This is the reason for the long egg related preamble. If I'd realized I'd be making crab cakes, meringues, and baking a cake, I'd have bought the dozen fucking eggs. CEST LA VIE! Rather then I don't know, cutting the recipe in half or something I just soldiered on with 3 eggs instead of 4. Another issue, like many cake recipes, it called for baking soda and baking powder. We had baking powder, but no baking soda. I looked up how to switch out one for the other, and a guy said if you just want to use baking powder, just put in a shit load of it, more or less (his ratio was 1:3 baking soda/baking powder). This maybe would have worked better if I was just subbing the baking soda, but I used the amount of baking powder called for and then a shit load more of it on top of that. Also, rather than use regular sugar I used confectioners sugar because I have his confectioners sugar from when I made merengues and I can't put that shit in coffee or whatever so I wanted to use it up. I think this is doable, but it requires another conversion since confectioners sugar is much less dense then regular sugar and has less sweetening power per capita. Then again who likes super sweet deserts anyway? So I do all this, dump in the two tea spoons of cinnamon, mix it all up, oh and add the carrot which I chopped up in the food processor because who owns a grater? Yeesh.
My other mistake probably was not really knowing my oven. The recipe called for it to be at 350 degrees for like an hour, so I did that. At a certain point it started to smell really good like maybe it was done, I don't know, but I was trying to curtail my usual impatience and not open the oven letting all the heat out, and just wait the allotted time. At the end of which... my cake was burned. The middle collapsed. The resulting product... tasted like feces. Seriously it was inedible. And to top it off, before I even took it out my girl friend asked about frosting, wasn't I going to make frosting? Having no eggs or whipping cream or any of those things, but having butter and confectioners sugar I figured I could improvise a butter cream, how hard could that be? Butter and sugar, right? Well the butter should really be room temperature, mine was not it was cold. A recipe I briefly considered said something about adding milk so I added some milk and let's just my attempts to whip it together with my powered hand whisk thing were a fiasco...
I don't know I had to write this blog post. I guess I thought my adventures in baking were entertaining and blog worthy. Hopefully the result speaks for it self, because I'm not doing any editing on it. It's also fun to catalog our failures, so we can look back when we've surpassed them. Someday I may try again baking carrot cake from scratch, or any kind of cake, and hopefully what I've learned will make more successful.
When it comes to baking, I have problems with patience. With the previous merengue attempt, and also with the more recent one, I probably should have let them bake a little longer. In general in the past when not baking from a box, I tend to get impatient and pull things out before they are done (this was not the case with the carrot cake we'll get to that later). I guess I was impatient with the carrot cake incident, in that I looked up a recipe, and it required 4 eggs of which I had 3. Mistake number one. This is the reason for the long egg related preamble. If I'd realized I'd be making crab cakes, meringues, and baking a cake, I'd have bought the dozen fucking eggs. CEST LA VIE! Rather then I don't know, cutting the recipe in half or something I just soldiered on with 3 eggs instead of 4. Another issue, like many cake recipes, it called for baking soda and baking powder. We had baking powder, but no baking soda. I looked up how to switch out one for the other, and a guy said if you just want to use baking powder, just put in a shit load of it, more or less (his ratio was 1:3 baking soda/baking powder). This maybe would have worked better if I was just subbing the baking soda, but I used the amount of baking powder called for and then a shit load more of it on top of that. Also, rather than use regular sugar I used confectioners sugar because I have his confectioners sugar from when I made merengues and I can't put that shit in coffee or whatever so I wanted to use it up. I think this is doable, but it requires another conversion since confectioners sugar is much less dense then regular sugar and has less sweetening power per capita. Then again who likes super sweet deserts anyway? So I do all this, dump in the two tea spoons of cinnamon, mix it all up, oh and add the carrot which I chopped up in the food processor because who owns a grater? Yeesh.
My other mistake probably was not really knowing my oven. The recipe called for it to be at 350 degrees for like an hour, so I did that. At a certain point it started to smell really good like maybe it was done, I don't know, but I was trying to curtail my usual impatience and not open the oven letting all the heat out, and just wait the allotted time. At the end of which... my cake was burned. The middle collapsed. The resulting product... tasted like feces. Seriously it was inedible. And to top it off, before I even took it out my girl friend asked about frosting, wasn't I going to make frosting? Having no eggs or whipping cream or any of those things, but having butter and confectioners sugar I figured I could improvise a butter cream, how hard could that be? Butter and sugar, right? Well the butter should really be room temperature, mine was not it was cold. A recipe I briefly considered said something about adding milk so I added some milk and let's just my attempts to whip it together with my powered hand whisk thing were a fiasco...
I don't know I had to write this blog post. I guess I thought my adventures in baking were entertaining and blog worthy. Hopefully the result speaks for it self, because I'm not doing any editing on it. It's also fun to catalog our failures, so we can look back when we've surpassed them. Someday I may try again baking carrot cake from scratch, or any kind of cake, and hopefully what I've learned will make more successful.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Excitement
I'm inexplicably part of a very exciting collaboration, the members of which convened this morning to discuss it's current state and future implications. I'm being all vague because I feel like if I bring up who's involved or what it is or what we are thinking of doing with it (I shouldn't really say "we", I pretty much feel like I'm along for the ride) it could jinx it. Anyway it's an exciting prospect, and here I am at the ground floor! I don't know, I just came away from our meeting this morning feeling all excited, you know? I guess I'll admit it's a new play, one which I previously blogged about being a part of, so if you really want you can search through my previous posts and you'll figure it out (not that you are that invested). But it's just cool being part of the shaping of something like this, and the aspect of it being shaped around me and my personality as an actor. And did I mention the people involved? I guess I did indirectly. Well, they are super awesome. And it's not like it's just me and some dudes sitting around and dreaming, this is a committed group with a solid piece in the process of being fleshed out, and that's exciting.
It makes me think of one of the main things missing from my life artistically; writing. I guess I'm writing this, that's something. But I really should be developing more stuff for myself, skits, movie and play ideas, *cough* stand up *cough*. Whether or not any of this stuff is any good, I mean it won't be at first, getting the bad stuff out of the way now I'll be ready for when it actually matters later in my career, when I'm in a place where I really need to start making opportunities for myself by doing what artists and actors inevitably do, creating for myself.
I saw Three Viewings at New Rep tonight, and enjoyed it throughly. There were a handful of aspects I have reservations about, in particular the age of the actress of the middle piece didn't feel like it added it up with the time line of events her story was telling, but overall it was a very well acted, well designed piece and I found it worth going to.
Uncle Vanya is going well. I'm particularly excited for next week, when I get to sit and just watch Johnny Kuntz work. Did I mention I love Chekov? Because I do.
I don't know where this second piece in a row came from. Well, I guess the excitement of this morning combined with reading blog entries from earlier in the year, it felt like I was much less precious about what I wrote. I need to get back into that mind set. Writing is one thing, editing is another, you know what I mean? You write, write, and write some more, and then edit it later. That's how it work.
It makes me think of one of the main things missing from my life artistically; writing. I guess I'm writing this, that's something. But I really should be developing more stuff for myself, skits, movie and play ideas, *cough* stand up *cough*. Whether or not any of this stuff is any good, I mean it won't be at first, getting the bad stuff out of the way now I'll be ready for when it actually matters later in my career, when I'm in a place where I really need to start making opportunities for myself by doing what artists and actors inevitably do, creating for myself.
I saw Three Viewings at New Rep tonight, and enjoyed it throughly. There were a handful of aspects I have reservations about, in particular the age of the actress of the middle piece didn't feel like it added it up with the time line of events her story was telling, but overall it was a very well acted, well designed piece and I found it worth going to.
Uncle Vanya is going well. I'm particularly excited for next week, when I get to sit and just watch Johnny Kuntz work. Did I mention I love Chekov? Because I do.
I don't know where this second piece in a row came from. Well, I guess the excitement of this morning combined with reading blog entries from earlier in the year, it felt like I was much less precious about what I wrote. I need to get back into that mind set. Writing is one thing, editing is another, you know what I mean? You write, write, and write some more, and then edit it later. That's how it work.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Untitled (thought dump)
This is my third or fourth or fifth or something-ith attempt to start and finish a new blog post in the past few weeks since I wrote my last one. I keep trying to get my thoughts down about the career anxiety I've been feeling lately, and that is a lot to unpack. Let's talk about some other things.
Exercise! Going well! I've been working out a lot, consistently hitting the gym at least three times per week, sometimes four or five, and gotten a few comments on the results from people who know me. Boom! Results! Amiright?! It really does feel good though being able appreciate tangible improvement in my physical appearance and overall state of mind. Normally this is a time of year where I get kinda depressed, but that's been less the case this year, I chalk a lot of that to the endorphins from all the exercise.
I haven't been keeping up with my "play a week" goal as much as I would have hoped, but I'd forgotten plays were kind of expensive and time can become scarce and knowing what to see can be challenging, because a lot of stuff isn't very good. I am seeing Three Viewings at New Rep this week, having throughly enjoyed Collected Stories and reading a very positive review of the piece at Hub Review (a source I generally rely upon, certainly if Thomas Garvey says something is good it probably is since he is a tough critic, an aspect of his work I respect don't get me wrong).
Next week though Vanya will be full swing, and seeing things will becoming even more difficult. First world problem! I've had some fun this past week standing in for John Kuntz as Uncle Vanya, since he's been otherwise occupied and the director has wanted to work a few of his scenes for the benefit of my fellow actors. God damn do I enjoy Chekov! I can't wait to start work on this play in earnest, even though my participation will primarily be from the sidelines.
A new development this week has been my girlfriend and I watching movies together in the evenings. We've fallen into a habit of watching TV together, particularly Food Network and a few comedies we both enjoy (It's Always Sunny, 30 Rock, Community, Modern Family) but this weekend she wanted to watch a movie together, so I looked at what's come out in the past year or two that I had meant to see but didn't get a chance, and oh Bridesmaids I'd meant to see that, for example, and it was very entertaining. The next night we watched I Love You Phillip Morris, starring Jim Carrey as a gay con man, which was also quite good and then last night was 50/50, also enjoyable. It's definitely worthwhile as an actor to keep up to date with what's happening in cinema, to see potential cracks and angles one could exploit to one's advantage, because basically the film industry is much more likely to try and repeat a past success then break new ground, so you want to know what's being successful.
This kind of brings me around to my career anxiety. I've been thinking maybe pursuing film is the way to go. Certainly if I can establish myself as a film and television actor, I'll be able to bypass a lot of bull shit towards doing theatre on the East Coast, and also make a lot more money. I also kind of like the longer lasting nature of film work. Our Town was such a good play, it was a really fantastic production. But anyone who didn't see it's run this fall won't get a chance to experience it, you see what I mean? That's kind of sad. And also beautiful.
Anyway, I'm envisioning one potential inroad to agents, managers, casting directors, etc will be to pitch myself as a Seth Rogen type because clearly I don't look like Joseph Gordon Leavit but I do have strong chops at comedy and improv. Going west is going to be pointless probably until Crooked Arrows actually comes out, however and knowing where to go from there is what's causing me this anxiety. I might try New York at the same time, just to see what happens. Inevitably I'll probably have representation in both markets. Wow the future is scary and exciting. Wish me luck.
Exercise! Going well! I've been working out a lot, consistently hitting the gym at least three times per week, sometimes four or five, and gotten a few comments on the results from people who know me. Boom! Results! Amiright?! It really does feel good though being able appreciate tangible improvement in my physical appearance and overall state of mind. Normally this is a time of year where I get kinda depressed, but that's been less the case this year, I chalk a lot of that to the endorphins from all the exercise.
I haven't been keeping up with my "play a week" goal as much as I would have hoped, but I'd forgotten plays were kind of expensive and time can become scarce and knowing what to see can be challenging, because a lot of stuff isn't very good. I am seeing Three Viewings at New Rep this week, having throughly enjoyed Collected Stories and reading a very positive review of the piece at Hub Review (a source I generally rely upon, certainly if Thomas Garvey says something is good it probably is since he is a tough critic, an aspect of his work I respect don't get me wrong).
Next week though Vanya will be full swing, and seeing things will becoming even more difficult. First world problem! I've had some fun this past week standing in for John Kuntz as Uncle Vanya, since he's been otherwise occupied and the director has wanted to work a few of his scenes for the benefit of my fellow actors. God damn do I enjoy Chekov! I can't wait to start work on this play in earnest, even though my participation will primarily be from the sidelines.
A new development this week has been my girlfriend and I watching movies together in the evenings. We've fallen into a habit of watching TV together, particularly Food Network and a few comedies we both enjoy (It's Always Sunny, 30 Rock, Community, Modern Family) but this weekend she wanted to watch a movie together, so I looked at what's come out in the past year or two that I had meant to see but didn't get a chance, and oh Bridesmaids I'd meant to see that, for example, and it was very entertaining. The next night we watched I Love You Phillip Morris, starring Jim Carrey as a gay con man, which was also quite good and then last night was 50/50, also enjoyable. It's definitely worthwhile as an actor to keep up to date with what's happening in cinema, to see potential cracks and angles one could exploit to one's advantage, because basically the film industry is much more likely to try and repeat a past success then break new ground, so you want to know what's being successful.
This kind of brings me around to my career anxiety. I've been thinking maybe pursuing film is the way to go. Certainly if I can establish myself as a film and television actor, I'll be able to bypass a lot of bull shit towards doing theatre on the East Coast, and also make a lot more money. I also kind of like the longer lasting nature of film work. Our Town was such a good play, it was a really fantastic production. But anyone who didn't see it's run this fall won't get a chance to experience it, you see what I mean? That's kind of sad. And also beautiful.
Anyway, I'm envisioning one potential inroad to agents, managers, casting directors, etc will be to pitch myself as a Seth Rogen type because clearly I don't look like Joseph Gordon Leavit but I do have strong chops at comedy and improv. Going west is going to be pointless probably until Crooked Arrows actually comes out, however and knowing where to go from there is what's causing me this anxiety. I might try New York at the same time, just to see what happens. Inevitably I'll probably have representation in both markets. Wow the future is scary and exciting. Wish me luck.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Nostalgia
Fade In
Hackneyed stand up on stage
Hackneyed Stand Up: Hey you know what's crazy? Childhood nostalgia! Ever watch anything from your childhood and think "wow! that sure is strange/sophisticated/simplistic/disturbing or otherwise different from how I remebered it as a kid? And man! Those disparate images and recollections bringing back all those prior associations and experiences, crazy, huh?! AMIRIGHT?! SHOW ME APPROVAL
Fade Out
I don't know why I structured the beginning that way. I guess I felt like the subject of this post was rife for a send up of... hackneyed stand ups doing stand up, or something. Anyway the subject is nostalgia. Now that I have all this down time, last night I was inspired to start watching old episodes of the early 90s pre Family Guy post The Simpsons animated comedy The Critic. I pretty vividly remember when this show was on TV circa 1994 in what felt to me like a more up beat phase of childhood, that being Berkeley California. I remember I was away from the crazy cult run little K through 2 school I was at while we were at Davis where I felt isolated and outcast because I was isolated and outcast because the people who were all members of this weird protestant cultish church and had put their children in this one school didn't like my secular intellectual partly Jewish parents and instead was at a quirky little montesori school where I had quirky friends and generally liked it there and was happy. Part of my family life that I remember most specifically and fondly, was all watching The Simpsons every Saturday or Sunday or whenever new episodes of golden age Simpsons episodes used to air during that period, and also The Critic.
Rewatching old episodes is like opening a psychic time capsule for me, as images I remember when watching and rewatching the show, particularly the myriad cut aways to movie spoofs (see Family Guy parallels) are recontextualized by my more mature understanding of cultural references and satire. Like this clip.
The show was ahead of it's time. Along with The Simpsons, it's DNA is definitely present in all the comedies you love, 30 Rock, Community, Family Guy... 30 Rock. Looking back on it now, I can't help but wonder how much the show and in particular it's protagonist helped shape my view of the world and my sense of humor. Jay Sherman is an easy guy for me to identify with, especially as an adult, artsy, intellectual, self aware, an outsider... also snobby, elitist, and as the show harps on for much of it's comedic effect, schlubby and grossly misshapen. The character is both what I aspire to be and not to be. But it's comedic sensibility reflects much of my own, and that's probably because I watched and identified with it in my childhood, along with the members of my family.
Well, that's all I can think of to say about that. But all this nostalgia stuff does tie in sort of Thanksgiving, right? One of my favorite holidays, a celebration of food and family and giving thanks for stuff. It's a harvest festival. An ancient tradition as old as agriculture. It's not particularly political, unless your Native American or have an agenda either way on indigenous issues in which case OK the back story is pretty political, thanks Howard Zinn you can sit down now. I agree about socialism. Moving on...
It's a pretty neat holiday! I like it because I get to cook and eat turkey, drink and watch football, back at the home I grew up in, with my parents and brother and girlfriend. I really don't like traveling to other people's houses for holidays, that feels to me against the point. And also because my immediate family always found ways to make such visits exercises in passive aggressiveness. But that's another post!
Things I'm thankful for... the myriad acting opportunities I've had this past year, graduating from college, advancing my career, advancing my craft, living in something resembling a democracy although that is increasingly debatable, I am thankful for the ability to debate the presence or non presence of democracy in the place that I live, all the people I've met, the new friends I've made and the one's I've held on to, oh and everything else. Happy thanksgiving, all you motherfuckers.
Rewatching old episodes is like opening a psychic time capsule for me, as images I remember when watching and rewatching the show, particularly the myriad cut aways to movie spoofs (see Family Guy parallels) are recontextualized by my more mature understanding of cultural references and satire. Like this clip.
The show was ahead of it's time. Along with The Simpsons, it's DNA is definitely present in all the comedies you love, 30 Rock, Community, Family Guy... 30 Rock. Looking back on it now, I can't help but wonder how much the show and in particular it's protagonist helped shape my view of the world and my sense of humor. Jay Sherman is an easy guy for me to identify with, especially as an adult, artsy, intellectual, self aware, an outsider... also snobby, elitist, and as the show harps on for much of it's comedic effect, schlubby and grossly misshapen. The character is both what I aspire to be and not to be. But it's comedic sensibility reflects much of my own, and that's probably because I watched and identified with it in my childhood, along with the members of my family.
Well, that's all I can think of to say about that. But all this nostalgia stuff does tie in sort of Thanksgiving, right? One of my favorite holidays, a celebration of food and family and giving thanks for stuff. It's a harvest festival. An ancient tradition as old as agriculture. It's not particularly political, unless your Native American or have an agenda either way on indigenous issues in which case OK the back story is pretty political, thanks Howard Zinn you can sit down now. I agree about socialism. Moving on...
It's a pretty neat holiday! I like it because I get to cook and eat turkey, drink and watch football, back at the home I grew up in, with my parents and brother and girlfriend. I really don't like traveling to other people's houses for holidays, that feels to me against the point. And also because my immediate family always found ways to make such visits exercises in passive aggressiveness. But that's another post!
Things I'm thankful for... the myriad acting opportunities I've had this past year, graduating from college, advancing my career, advancing my craft, living in something resembling a democracy although that is increasingly debatable, I am thankful for the ability to debate the presence or non presence of democracy in the place that I live, all the people I've met, the new friends I've made and the one's I've held on to, oh and everything else. Happy thanksgiving, all you motherfuckers.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Audition A/Audition B
Well, Our Town came and went. It was a pretty fantastic experience, every performance had some new discovery for me, and overall it was maybe the most satisfying live theatre experience I've yet to have in my career. That's pretty funny, considering I never thought I'd be doing Our Town when I was younger and if I knew I was I'd be more likely to guess I'd be playing George Gibbs and not Mr. Webb, but life is always full of unexpected surprises. I met some great people, made some new friends whom I hope will stand the test of time. It's an experience I'll look back on for a long time.
Also ending this past week, was Company One's Professional Development for Actor's class, which has been taking up my Tuesdays these past eight weeks. Yet another learning and growing experience, where I met a whole different group of talented individuals whom I hope to see in the near future. Tuesday was our show case, and we kicked it's ass! Particularly, I received positive feed back from audience members for a scene I did from Biloxi Blues, where the naive Neil Simon analogue (played by Matthew Broderick in the movie) loses his virginity to a prostitute. I also did more dramatic scenes from The Glass Menagerie (playing Jim! Jim and not Tom! Another role I wouldn't expect to find myself in) and Dinner With Friends by Donald Margulies both of which I was very happy with. Another great experience, worth reflecting on for some time.
The title of this post reflects my day today. This morning, I went to the BCA for Meals For Monologues, an event organized by CP Casting where actors could donate dried or canned goods to do two minutes of material in the form of a monologue for Carolyn Pickman of CP Casting and the head casting director for LDI Casting in Rhode Island. Prior to leaving my apartment this morning, I had thought I would use a piece from Crossing Delancey a romantic comedy where a pickle salesman tries to convince his more up town love interest of his inherent worth and to make him see what about him is lovable. I've only really used this piece once though, and knew it would be a risk to use it in this context and instead decided to go with a much more well worn and comedic piece from Suburbia by Eric Bogosian. My thought process was that they would be seeing a whole bunch of heavy handed "dramatic" monologues all day, and it would make more of an impact and also play more to my strengths as an actor to do something comedic. One possible complication, I hadn't used this particular piece in months, and I was standing in line waiting to go in for my two minute time slot, I had to think "wait how much of this piece do I actually remember?" and dig through my brain for all the verbs and wording and such not. If going up by myself in front of a couple of influential New England casting directors wasn't enough pressure, now I had to make sure I actually knew my piece, which I did but it made for a serious adrenaline cocktail.
Standing outside the door of the audition, I applied the Alexander Technique I've been working on these past few months to relieve my tension, get centered and find focus as well as put myself in a place to present my best self, the confident person with good posture and stuff. With the help of the technique and the need to do well, I went through the door, focused my adrenaline and hit the piece out of the park. It was probably the best I've ever done with the piece, I started out slow and simple and as the piece escalated and I felt the casting directors following my build up, discovered bits of physical comedy I hadn't done before and really worked each individual moment. At the end they were laughing out loud, and Carolyn told me "very well done" as I walked out the door. In short, I nailed it! Why couldn't I have done that in Stagesource? Oh well you win some and you lose some.
Later that night I had another audition back at the BCA with much smaller stakes, it just being for a small theatre company I think doing it's first real show in Boston, so I took that opportunity to test drive the other, more dramatic piece I rejected earlier in the day. If you put the two performances side by side, you might think they were completely different people because it was no where near the level I was performing at earlier in the day. This came down to several factors, I had none of the adrenaline I had earlier in the day. I've barely done this piece, I tried doing it sitting down which is not something I'd tried before or even rehearsed with. I really don't rehearse like I should for auditions, sometimes this pays off like it did earlier in the day, all the physical comedy came to me in the moment and it really worked because of it whereas in this case it caused me to more self conscious then necessary. I still felt OK about the audition, and afterwards I did a side which I thought was pretty good. Also considering the number of headshots I saw on the table, frankly I wouldn't be shocked if I got a call back but if not, oh well.
So that's a snap shot of where I'm at. Things coming up, a bunch of improv shows! I wrote last time about my front burner and back burner and improv is definitely going to get some time to itself now that I have Sundays and I'm not in the middle of rehearsing or performing a show. I am at the beginning of working on Uncle Vanya however, so that will be taking more and more priority as the weeks go by. And in the beginning of December, I'm doing a little Shakespeare scene recital thing with Hyperion, a group I worked was an undergrad. It seems to me like life (like time) is relative, it only appears to slow down, but it never actually does.
Also ending this past week, was Company One's Professional Development for Actor's class, which has been taking up my Tuesdays these past eight weeks. Yet another learning and growing experience, where I met a whole different group of talented individuals whom I hope to see in the near future. Tuesday was our show case, and we kicked it's ass! Particularly, I received positive feed back from audience members for a scene I did from Biloxi Blues, where the naive Neil Simon analogue (played by Matthew Broderick in the movie) loses his virginity to a prostitute. I also did more dramatic scenes from The Glass Menagerie (playing Jim! Jim and not Tom! Another role I wouldn't expect to find myself in) and Dinner With Friends by Donald Margulies both of which I was very happy with. Another great experience, worth reflecting on for some time.
The title of this post reflects my day today. This morning, I went to the BCA for Meals For Monologues, an event organized by CP Casting where actors could donate dried or canned goods to do two minutes of material in the form of a monologue for Carolyn Pickman of CP Casting and the head casting director for LDI Casting in Rhode Island. Prior to leaving my apartment this morning, I had thought I would use a piece from Crossing Delancey a romantic comedy where a pickle salesman tries to convince his more up town love interest of his inherent worth and to make him see what about him is lovable. I've only really used this piece once though, and knew it would be a risk to use it in this context and instead decided to go with a much more well worn and comedic piece from Suburbia by Eric Bogosian. My thought process was that they would be seeing a whole bunch of heavy handed "dramatic" monologues all day, and it would make more of an impact and also play more to my strengths as an actor to do something comedic. One possible complication, I hadn't used this particular piece in months, and I was standing in line waiting to go in for my two minute time slot, I had to think "wait how much of this piece do I actually remember?" and dig through my brain for all the verbs and wording and such not. If going up by myself in front of a couple of influential New England casting directors wasn't enough pressure, now I had to make sure I actually knew my piece, which I did but it made for a serious adrenaline cocktail.
Standing outside the door of the audition, I applied the Alexander Technique I've been working on these past few months to relieve my tension, get centered and find focus as well as put myself in a place to present my best self, the confident person with good posture and stuff. With the help of the technique and the need to do well, I went through the door, focused my adrenaline and hit the piece out of the park. It was probably the best I've ever done with the piece, I started out slow and simple and as the piece escalated and I felt the casting directors following my build up, discovered bits of physical comedy I hadn't done before and really worked each individual moment. At the end they were laughing out loud, and Carolyn told me "very well done" as I walked out the door. In short, I nailed it! Why couldn't I have done that in Stagesource? Oh well you win some and you lose some.
Later that night I had another audition back at the BCA with much smaller stakes, it just being for a small theatre company I think doing it's first real show in Boston, so I took that opportunity to test drive the other, more dramatic piece I rejected earlier in the day. If you put the two performances side by side, you might think they were completely different people because it was no where near the level I was performing at earlier in the day. This came down to several factors, I had none of the adrenaline I had earlier in the day. I've barely done this piece, I tried doing it sitting down which is not something I'd tried before or even rehearsed with. I really don't rehearse like I should for auditions, sometimes this pays off like it did earlier in the day, all the physical comedy came to me in the moment and it really worked because of it whereas in this case it caused me to more self conscious then necessary. I still felt OK about the audition, and afterwards I did a side which I thought was pretty good. Also considering the number of headshots I saw on the table, frankly I wouldn't be shocked if I got a call back but if not, oh well.
So that's a snap shot of where I'm at. Things coming up, a bunch of improv shows! I wrote last time about my front burner and back burner and improv is definitely going to get some time to itself now that I have Sundays and I'm not in the middle of rehearsing or performing a show. I am at the beginning of working on Uncle Vanya however, so that will be taking more and more priority as the weeks go by. And in the beginning of December, I'm doing a little Shakespeare scene recital thing with Hyperion, a group I worked was an undergrad. It seems to me like life (like time) is relative, it only appears to slow down, but it never actually does.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
A Play A Week
I find myself repeatedly using this space to chronicle not the actor or person which I am, but that I want to be. So to begin with, let's go down the list of things I've talked about and see where I'm at with them. The physical fitness/more physical as an actor thing is going well, I've been frequenting the Porter Square location of Planet Fitness with some frequency, consistently going at least three times a week, if not more! I feel good about that. I think all this physical activity is going to be a key part of avoiding a potential slump and/or seasonal affective disorder this winter, something I've struggled with in the past. Exercising feels good, and I am starting to perceive some results in my physical composition, even if they are fairly subtle, I'm making progress. Go me! I still haven't started doing yoga or taking dance, which is the other aspect of that particular goal, but I'll get there.
Stand up is pretty far on the back burner at this point. An analogy I heard recently is that in terms of multi tasking and time management, you can only have one or two things on your "front burner" at a time, of course for me the main thing is continuing to grow as an actor. In terms of time committed, second would be the physical fitness thing. Lately, improv has been on the "back burner" so to speak, since I haven't been able to rehearse with my troupe these past few weeks due to Our Town's performance schedule but we also have some shows coming up, so I'll be able to refocus on that stuff soon, which is cool. Also back there is guitar, again with Our Town it's been hard to focus on learning new stuff. And way at the back... is stand up. I keep thinking about going back out there, writing some stuff, hitting some open mics. But then I think about what else I could be doing with the two or three hours involved in those five minutes of stage time, and it's hard to get really motivated. No doubt though I'll give it another shot at some point.
Oh, and Shakespeare! Last night I auditioned for Shakespeare Now's Spring touring company, an ensemble of 7 actors who travel to Massachusetts schools performing some well known plays in repertory. How did it go? OK, I guess, not bad. I mean, it's arguably one of the most lucrative non union gigs in town, and a lot of people who have worked with Shakes-Now have gone on to more serious stuff, so it's pretty competitive. Also, I really have no personal connections within the company, that I know of. So long story short I probably didn't get it (besides all those other things my piece, while adequate, could have been better) although you never know. Regardless that's the last time I'm thinking about it.
My newest goal I've decided is time permitting, to make it out to see at least a play a week from the local theatre scene. I've kind of done that inadvertently recently, I saw Collected Stories, The Divine Sister, Slasher, and a Harvard undergraduate production of Othello, and on the improv front saw my buddies in Unforgettable Mousetraps perform with Awkward Compliment at the Somerville Theatre. Doing Our Town has made it sort of tough to see stuff, but all things considered I've been doing pretty well!
Going out and seeing plays is important for several reasons. Seeing stuff on stage you grow artistically, observing others in their craft, hopefully learning from them what you can do better or in the unideal circumstance of a let's say less than good show, what not to do. Seeing stuff locally your also supporting the local theatre scene, and engaging with what's going on around you. You know, if you or I want to work with Boston's theatre community, which of course we do (or are doing) it's good to know what people are putting up. I'm going to see a show tonight, and seeing that will give me an idea of what this company is all about, if they are someone I'd want to work with, and give me a better idea of what to do to get in their good graces, so to speak.
Well, that was a pretty good blog post, I'd say! I know people read this when I post it to Facebook, but I'm yet to get any comments. So for this one, let me conclude with a question: what are you doing to make yourself better, or to get farther in whatever it is you do? Let's start a discussion.
Stand up is pretty far on the back burner at this point. An analogy I heard recently is that in terms of multi tasking and time management, you can only have one or two things on your "front burner" at a time, of course for me the main thing is continuing to grow as an actor. In terms of time committed, second would be the physical fitness thing. Lately, improv has been on the "back burner" so to speak, since I haven't been able to rehearse with my troupe these past few weeks due to Our Town's performance schedule but we also have some shows coming up, so I'll be able to refocus on that stuff soon, which is cool. Also back there is guitar, again with Our Town it's been hard to focus on learning new stuff. And way at the back... is stand up. I keep thinking about going back out there, writing some stuff, hitting some open mics. But then I think about what else I could be doing with the two or three hours involved in those five minutes of stage time, and it's hard to get really motivated. No doubt though I'll give it another shot at some point.
Oh, and Shakespeare! Last night I auditioned for Shakespeare Now's Spring touring company, an ensemble of 7 actors who travel to Massachusetts schools performing some well known plays in repertory. How did it go? OK, I guess, not bad. I mean, it's arguably one of the most lucrative non union gigs in town, and a lot of people who have worked with Shakes-Now have gone on to more serious stuff, so it's pretty competitive. Also, I really have no personal connections within the company, that I know of. So long story short I probably didn't get it (besides all those other things my piece, while adequate, could have been better) although you never know. Regardless that's the last time I'm thinking about it.
My newest goal I've decided is time permitting, to make it out to see at least a play a week from the local theatre scene. I've kind of done that inadvertently recently, I saw Collected Stories, The Divine Sister, Slasher, and a Harvard undergraduate production of Othello, and on the improv front saw my buddies in Unforgettable Mousetraps perform with Awkward Compliment at the Somerville Theatre. Doing Our Town has made it sort of tough to see stuff, but all things considered I've been doing pretty well!
Going out and seeing plays is important for several reasons. Seeing stuff on stage you grow artistically, observing others in their craft, hopefully learning from them what you can do better or in the unideal circumstance of a let's say less than good show, what not to do. Seeing stuff locally your also supporting the local theatre scene, and engaging with what's going on around you. You know, if you or I want to work with Boston's theatre community, which of course we do (or are doing) it's good to know what people are putting up. I'm going to see a show tonight, and seeing that will give me an idea of what this company is all about, if they are someone I'd want to work with, and give me a better idea of what to do to get in their good graces, so to speak.
Well, that was a pretty good blog post, I'd say! I know people read this when I post it to Facebook, but I'm yet to get any comments. So for this one, let me conclude with a question: what are you doing to make yourself better, or to get farther in whatever it is you do? Let's start a discussion.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Taking a Breath
First, if you haven't seen Our Town, you really should. It's very good. Probably one of the best shows I've ever been in. But don't take my word for it, come and see it. Seriously. I'm not joking or hyperbolizing, it's just good.
The first weekend was, I thought, all in all a success. Friday's night show was amazing, we had a big old packed house of receptive audience members who gave off such a great energy and were such a joy to perform for, that the show really sung. Saturday was trickier, it being the second show which can lead to a sort of weird energy sometimes when you come off the high of opening, coupled with the awful weather, and the subsequently much smaller crowd. Regardless the people who were that night said they really enjoyed it, I'm sure they weren't aware of the little trip ups we had along the way. Today's show again had a smaller crowd, but we hit the ground running and I thought it was equal to Friday's showing.
Now that the first weekend is out of the way... I can take a breath. For the moment, I can stop living and breathing Our Town all the time. I'm sure you know the feeling, you go into those final few runs pre tech, really putting the show together, polishing the final things to be polished before adding lights and sound. Then your in the space, on the stage, oh wait you have to make that entrance a few lines sooner, because the corridor is longer then how you blocked it. These steps are narrower then we expected, oh and they aren't completely built yet. Step into the light. Wait for the sound cue. Hold please, while I program this lighting cue. 12 hours later you go home. Come back the next night, do it for six hours, go home, come back, do that again. You really find everything there is to find in the role, in the space, in the moment with the lights and the sound and your fellow actors... it's exhilarating and exhausting. When you go into it ill prepared, unsure if the show will really come together and the problems can be fixed, it's terrifying. Comparatively, this was less of that then a lot of the tech experiences I've had, scrambling to make all the pieces fit together. And then, when opening night comes and everything clicks... what a fantastic feeling.
So that has been the past week for me. It's been maybe the most satisfying theatrical experience I've had to date, in terms of everything going fantastically technically, with a super group of people and most of all envisioning a goal for my own performance, and achieving it. A lot of that had to do with my director, Jason, who was a total joy to work with, and with my own advancement artistically as an actor.
But coming home from tonight's matinee, I take a breath. Six more performances to go... but until this Friday, I can think about something else! OK, this is me, doing that.
The first weekend was, I thought, all in all a success. Friday's night show was amazing, we had a big old packed house of receptive audience members who gave off such a great energy and were such a joy to perform for, that the show really sung. Saturday was trickier, it being the second show which can lead to a sort of weird energy sometimes when you come off the high of opening, coupled with the awful weather, and the subsequently much smaller crowd. Regardless the people who were that night said they really enjoyed it, I'm sure they weren't aware of the little trip ups we had along the way. Today's show again had a smaller crowd, but we hit the ground running and I thought it was equal to Friday's showing.
Now that the first weekend is out of the way... I can take a breath. For the moment, I can stop living and breathing Our Town all the time. I'm sure you know the feeling, you go into those final few runs pre tech, really putting the show together, polishing the final things to be polished before adding lights and sound. Then your in the space, on the stage, oh wait you have to make that entrance a few lines sooner, because the corridor is longer then how you blocked it. These steps are narrower then we expected, oh and they aren't completely built yet. Step into the light. Wait for the sound cue. Hold please, while I program this lighting cue. 12 hours later you go home. Come back the next night, do it for six hours, go home, come back, do that again. You really find everything there is to find in the role, in the space, in the moment with the lights and the sound and your fellow actors... it's exhilarating and exhausting. When you go into it ill prepared, unsure if the show will really come together and the problems can be fixed, it's terrifying. Comparatively, this was less of that then a lot of the tech experiences I've had, scrambling to make all the pieces fit together. And then, when opening night comes and everything clicks... what a fantastic feeling.
So that has been the past week for me. It's been maybe the most satisfying theatrical experience I've had to date, in terms of everything going fantastically technically, with a super group of people and most of all envisioning a goal for my own performance, and achieving it. A lot of that had to do with my director, Jason, who was a total joy to work with, and with my own advancement artistically as an actor.
But coming home from tonight's matinee, I take a breath. Six more performances to go... but until this Friday, I can think about something else! OK, this is me, doing that.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
BOOM, acting
I don't have a whole lot to blog about tonight. Except, tonight was the penultimate rehearsal of Our Town, and for my money I killed it. Part of what the director has been pushing us towards has been a super light, almost farcical tone for the first three quarters or so of the show, so that when it takes a serious turn at the end, the audience really feels the impact. This tonality is something the cast as a whole has struggled with, but that I found with my character early on, and spent the rest of the rehearsal process trying to harness throughout my scenes. At last night's rehearsal the play was especially down tempo, so our director really challenged us to make it "borderline Oscar Wilde" as we have in the past, and I especially embraced that challenge, I thought, and you know, really went for it.
Comedy is interesting. I think the best comedy comes when you are the most removed from your inhibitions, and completely in touch with your instincts. Admittedly, some of what I've struggled with in terms of really bringing my role to life has been my lines. I've known them for a while, but because we haven't had as much rehearsal as I'm used to, and it's in rehearsal that I really get familiar with a text, I've been a little iffy on them for much of the process. Leading into and then over the course of tech week, I would say I've gotten them to a really solid place, and having run everything in the space more then once, tonight I was able to take the director's challenge and really let loose. Comedy, like jazz, is all about space. You have to know how to let a moment breath. If your in a huge rush to fill it, then the audience won't appreciate the tension you are trying to create, and humor is a reaction to tension (or so goes my theory). It takes a lot of comfort and trust to make comedy really happen, you have to commit to your choices, commit to your spaces and commit to breathing. *In a yoda voice* Commitment! Specificity! These things will comedy make.
Anyway, tonight was I think the best work I've done in this role, and maybe some of my best work up to this point as an actor and I just wanted to capture that. It's going to be tough from here on out, not just trying to recapture the numerous discoveries I made tonight, but to try and build on them and make new ones. That challenge though is what I really appreciate about acting, and why I want to make this craft part of my life and my profession. I have tomorrow, and then nine performances to chase it, and I'm looking forward to the challenges and discoveries to come.
In short... BOOM, acting.
Comedy is interesting. I think the best comedy comes when you are the most removed from your inhibitions, and completely in touch with your instincts. Admittedly, some of what I've struggled with in terms of really bringing my role to life has been my lines. I've known them for a while, but because we haven't had as much rehearsal as I'm used to, and it's in rehearsal that I really get familiar with a text, I've been a little iffy on them for much of the process. Leading into and then over the course of tech week, I would say I've gotten them to a really solid place, and having run everything in the space more then once, tonight I was able to take the director's challenge and really let loose. Comedy, like jazz, is all about space. You have to know how to let a moment breath. If your in a huge rush to fill it, then the audience won't appreciate the tension you are trying to create, and humor is a reaction to tension (or so goes my theory). It takes a lot of comfort and trust to make comedy really happen, you have to commit to your choices, commit to your spaces and commit to breathing. *In a yoda voice* Commitment! Specificity! These things will comedy make.
Anyway, tonight was I think the best work I've done in this role, and maybe some of my best work up to this point as an actor and I just wanted to capture that. It's going to be tough from here on out, not just trying to recapture the numerous discoveries I made tonight, but to try and build on them and make new ones. That challenge though is what I really appreciate about acting, and why I want to make this craft part of my life and my profession. I have tomorrow, and then nine performances to chase it, and I'm looking forward to the challenges and discoveries to come.
In short... BOOM, acting.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Comedy
I saw the Divine Sister today at Speakeasy, it was funny! If you enjoy broad humor ala Mel Brooks, you'd probably like it. I started into it with hesitance, wondering it perhaps was too broad, but I ultimately gave myself over to it and enjoyed it. I had a few caveats, I get that it was a send up of 60s cinema, but the sheer number of varying plot threads including brief send up of the Da Vinci Code/60s spy movies and then this extended riff on Suddenly Last Summer(?) were a bit much, but those are textual issues. And I'm not really trying to write a review. Again, if you like Mel Brooks and fairly broad comedies (which the complaint I just made fits into the framework of, ala History of the World Part 1), check it out.
It was a pretty informative experience, and served as part of my overall effort to see more Boston theatre. It's not that I don't like going to plays, I'm just pretty lazy, and that shit's expensive. Luckily I have a source for comps that I've been taking advantage of which I hadn't previously, and when a performance time comes up that I can definitely make, I'm checking it out. This is also how I saw Collected Stories last week.
Anyway, I wouldn't call the humor in "The Divine Sister" subtle, but it was very capably delivered by the cast and I laughed a lot. Maybe my favorite moment of the show is when (my friend and teacher) Paula Plum's sexually repressed nun hears a charged remark from a cast member... and I'm not doing a very good job of describing this moment. Basically he goes into detail about his member, and Paula reacted in character, and even though it was a blatant penis joke it really worked for me. So, why? Well, Paula's delivery, specificity, her commitment to the bit, and the overall strength of her character and her choices.
These are things I've been thinking about, because The Divine Sister is the kind of over the top comedy that I hope to make my living acting in, and it was informative to be on the outside looking in on this kind of show, especially on a professional scale. I did a similar production of Steve Martin's The Underpants this past April, and this occasion seems like a good time to go into something that has reminded me of that experience...
You see, a week or two ago one of my cast mates stumbled across... a review. Personally, I thought it was a pretty good show, but this person did not. You know what, I'll just link to it and you can see for yourself. OK so it's not that they panned it, but they gave a fairly mixed review. Fair enough! Here's what they had to say about me in my role: "Versati was ... a lot. The character is a self-important, aggrandizing poet, and perhaps it was that type of character that I had so strong a reaction to, but Mike Handelman didn’t help me any. The character is hugely pompous and overblown with his own “poetic” conceits: I so understand the temptation to overplay. But Handelman seemed to channel some of the insane over-the-topness of (specifically) a Jack Black-ian persuasion. Handelman’s approach, although sometimes funny, battled the type of comedy written into the script, and usually ended up overshadowing and undermining the hilarity of the written jokes."
Better then no reaction at all, am I right? That's a rhetorical question. And although I take the comparison to Jack Black as sort of a compliment, and the reviewer admits that they were perhaps reacting more to the character in the text to my performance, I don't take their remarks too seriously. In the end any performance is a collaboration, and in my audition for the role I took the material in a very over the top direction, and the director must have responded to that because she had me continue with that throughout the production and I could have toned it down but that's not what the director wanted, and I thought it balanced out in the piece, and you can't please everybody.
Regardless, it makes me just a teensy bit... insecure. Not that I'm going to change what I'm doing, but it makes one think...
It was a pretty informative experience, and served as part of my overall effort to see more Boston theatre. It's not that I don't like going to plays, I'm just pretty lazy, and that shit's expensive. Luckily I have a source for comps that I've been taking advantage of which I hadn't previously, and when a performance time comes up that I can definitely make, I'm checking it out. This is also how I saw Collected Stories last week.
Anyway, I wouldn't call the humor in "The Divine Sister" subtle, but it was very capably delivered by the cast and I laughed a lot. Maybe my favorite moment of the show is when (my friend and teacher) Paula Plum's sexually repressed nun hears a charged remark from a cast member... and I'm not doing a very good job of describing this moment. Basically he goes into detail about his member, and Paula reacted in character, and even though it was a blatant penis joke it really worked for me. So, why? Well, Paula's delivery, specificity, her commitment to the bit, and the overall strength of her character and her choices.
These are things I've been thinking about, because The Divine Sister is the kind of over the top comedy that I hope to make my living acting in, and it was informative to be on the outside looking in on this kind of show, especially on a professional scale. I did a similar production of Steve Martin's The Underpants this past April, and this occasion seems like a good time to go into something that has reminded me of that experience...
You see, a week or two ago one of my cast mates stumbled across... a review. Personally, I thought it was a pretty good show, but this person did not. You know what, I'll just link to it and you can see for yourself. OK so it's not that they panned it, but they gave a fairly mixed review. Fair enough! Here's what they had to say about me in my role: "Versati was ... a lot. The character is a self-important, aggrandizing poet, and perhaps it was that type of character that I had so strong a reaction to, but Mike Handelman didn’t help me any. The character is hugely pompous and overblown with his own “poetic” conceits: I so understand the temptation to overplay. But Handelman seemed to channel some of the insane over-the-topness of (specifically) a Jack Black-ian persuasion. Handelman’s approach, although sometimes funny, battled the type of comedy written into the script, and usually ended up overshadowing and undermining the hilarity of the written jokes."
Better then no reaction at all, am I right? That's a rhetorical question. And although I take the comparison to Jack Black as sort of a compliment, and the reviewer admits that they were perhaps reacting more to the character in the text to my performance, I don't take their remarks too seriously. In the end any performance is a collaboration, and in my audition for the role I took the material in a very over the top direction, and the director must have responded to that because she had me continue with that throughout the production and I could have toned it down but that's not what the director wanted, and I thought it balanced out in the piece, and you can't please everybody.
Regardless, it makes me just a teensy bit... insecure. Not that I'm going to change what I'm doing, but it makes one think...
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Guilty Pleasure
If you aren't watching "Work of Art" on Bravo, maybe think about giving it a shot. It's basically Project Runway with visual artists, ta-da! And these days for me, it's what constitutes a guilty pleasure. Lately, television as a whole has taken on this weird duality of high minded art ( Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Community etc, these highly written shows in the style of The Sopranos or Larry Sanders or whatever) and utter trash which stimulates one's pleasure centers only in the most base ways possible... Bravo makes a whole line of these kinds of shows. This trend can be traced to the late 90s, The Sopranos and Survivor are I would argue the two most primal archetypes for the dominant forms of the TV landscape today. Work of Art almost sort of crosses them, if only in the sense that it's essentially a trashy, highly fabricated reality competition show in the vein of Project Runway, but it's about high art, or as one of the judges described it "a game show for artists". That's probably a little too high minded, and now that I think about it, the show really has nothing to do with the Soprano's... but it's entertaining regardless! Especially for someone like me, who has a limited stomach for guilty pleasure television unless there is some remote aspect of craft or information or SOMETHING other than people acting terribly to one another and crying. And Work of Art has the whole art angle as interpreted through a Project Runway/Top Chef lense, two shows I've enjoyed in the past. This season thus far though has been especially self aware, with the host China Chow addressing one of the artists in a cold monotone post judgement and being placed in the bottom "Are you crying because you aren't feeling well?" and then saying "feel better!" after she'd been eliminated. Shit, harsh, awesome. Also this season, the artist I am rooting for is named "The Sucklord" not just because his name is Sucklord and he makes art about action figures, but he's just a great reality show personality, full of snark and enough self awareness of everything to make the experience palatable, playing along but not blowing the whole thing off. I don't really have that much to add about this show. If you like Project Runway you'd probably enjoy it, although I haven't watched that other program since... season 4? The one where Christian Serrano won at the end. Anyway, check it out. I think my thesis about the Sopranos/Survivor dichotomy is a good one... and one that I came up with in the process of writing this post! Some cultural studies major should expand on it. If they haven't already. Probably they have. Ah well, originality is overrated.
Monday, October 17, 2011
The Weight (aka the actor's journey)
I have begun the next phase of "the next phase" (a phase within a phase, a prelude to phases yet to come) of my acting career: dieting. Since I last spoke about it in my blog in the bodies in space entry, yes I've been going to the gym with increased frequency, three to four times per week for the past month maybe? In the meantime though, beginning with when I was working on R&G Are Dead, my eating habits have progressively been getting worse. I would say they had been worse, got better when I started living with my girlfriend and got back into the habit of cooking at home and eating vegetables instead of burritos from Felipe's for multiple meals of the day, but at some point I started eating a lot more junk food. Specifically processed sugar, cookies and mountain dew and all those other kinds of shit, which I used to not really do so much. I mean sure I'd have a scone a week or something from a coffee shop, or the occasional sugary drink or snack but I found myself indulging all the time and not stopping myself. It had to do with the brownies my girlfriend made me for my birthday, which I ate most of cause that's maybe my favorite desert and then from there things went downhill.
Then, the other day, I weighed myself... "oh I've been going to the gym, maybe I lost a few pounds", but then let's just say I wasn't happy with the result. Mind you I don't have a good recent basis of comparison, and actually I think my weight is where it was the last time I took it like six months ago, but still, like many Americans stepping off the scale I committed myself to taking action... but will I succeed where so many routinely fail?
A little about my history, I was a heavy kid. It weighed upon me, growing up, especially in the second grade when it first became a subject of ridicule from a certain 2nd grader in my new school, it had it's first real impact on my self esteem. But I grew taller, and my weight stayed the same, that old story, and I did thin out somewhat, more or less to the state you see me in today with some fluctuation.
And the name of this post is the actor's journey (besides the reference to the song by The Band, that's what that is) and this is something professional actors deal with, it's part of the job to look a certain way. Now, I'm a character actor, my weight is much less relevant to casting people then in the case of someone who was more of a "leading man" type, but this is going to be a life long journey and I don't want my physical type to affect my potential success, I'd like to look... well, good. And then feel good. And do good work. And have a good career. And not get diabetes, which runs in my family.
As to the nuts and bolts of this process, I'm still figuring that out. My strategy is just to eat less. Today, before going to the gym which I will do after I press "publish", I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with my coffee, no added sugar or salt in any of the ingredients, so that's good, and I put it on one piece of bread folded in half instead of two. BOOM less calories. It's a start, onward from there.
Then, the other day, I weighed myself... "oh I've been going to the gym, maybe I lost a few pounds", but then let's just say I wasn't happy with the result. Mind you I don't have a good recent basis of comparison, and actually I think my weight is where it was the last time I took it like six months ago, but still, like many Americans stepping off the scale I committed myself to taking action... but will I succeed where so many routinely fail?
A little about my history, I was a heavy kid. It weighed upon me, growing up, especially in the second grade when it first became a subject of ridicule from a certain 2nd grader in my new school, it had it's first real impact on my self esteem. But I grew taller, and my weight stayed the same, that old story, and I did thin out somewhat, more or less to the state you see me in today with some fluctuation.
And the name of this post is the actor's journey (besides the reference to the song by The Band, that's what that is) and this is something professional actors deal with, it's part of the job to look a certain way. Now, I'm a character actor, my weight is much less relevant to casting people then in the case of someone who was more of a "leading man" type, but this is going to be a life long journey and I don't want my physical type to affect my potential success, I'd like to look... well, good. And then feel good. And do good work. And have a good career. And not get diabetes, which runs in my family.
As to the nuts and bolts of this process, I'm still figuring that out. My strategy is just to eat less. Today, before going to the gym which I will do after I press "publish", I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with my coffee, no added sugar or salt in any of the ingredients, so that's good, and I put it on one piece of bread folded in half instead of two. BOOM less calories. It's a start, onward from there.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Boring Weekend
Well, by most people's standards, that was a pretty boring weekend. By my own standard, it was totally par for the course of my life at this moment, and I don't particularly mind it. Yesterday, I hung out with my girlfriend and went to the gym, tonight I was in rehearsal in Hyde Park until 10:30 or so, then came home and ate dinner. I know, I am the rock and roll lifestyle personified.
One thing I did that was interesting this past week, was go to see Collective Stories. And then, I had lunch afterwards with one of it's stars, Bobbie Steinbach! By coincidence! A few weeks, maybe a month or so ago, another actor associate of mine invited me to participate in an informal reading of a new work a writer he knew was working in, which needed a male 20 something supporting character, and the other actor involved other than the two of us was Bobbie Steinbach, who hosted the event at her home. This was in a way, a lesson unto itself in "making it" on several levels. My associate, or let's just call him my friend, I knew from a workshop I did and subsequently a class we were in together. Another associate/friend of mine needed to cast a role in a show, which this person would have been a good fit for, so I got the two of them in touch. As it happened, he had a conflict with the production dates, and didn't go out for it. But I have no doubt that this lead in part to him contacting me about this other opportunity, which was a chance to meet some new people, a writer (who are some of the best people to know and work with, because if you attach your voice to the voice of a character early in it's development, oftentimes it will develop towards you and you might end up playing the part, as I likely will if this piece ever goes up) and a well known actor, Bobbie, who I respected. I then see Bobbie in Collected Stories this past Thursday, which was very good and you should see it if you get the chance. I really came away with no major criticisms. Overall it was a very satisfactory production, entertaining, engaging, thought provoking, and worth seeing. Afterwards, having time to cool and feeling hungry, I went to a eatery near the Arsenal but not in the main complex that my friend turned me onto when we working in the space this past May, and as I was finishing my sandwich, I saw Bobbie and she invited me to sit and have lunch with her and her husband, it was a lovely time.
All of which came out of being out in the world, and when I saw an opportunity that applied to someone I knew, I shared it. You know, it's a tricky dynamic. On the one hand, acting is so competitive, and it can be very "dog eat dog". If it had been something I thought I would be a good fit for, and I knew someone who also could be up for it, I might not have mentioned it especially if I wasn't especially close to the person in question, which in the case of my friend in the scenario above I'm not. On the other hand, you can't really "make it" completely on your own, you have to get help from other people somewhere along the line, and people are more likely to give help to someone who has helped them in some way prior to that moment.
It's tough knowing when to help out, and when to hold back. Granted, helping anybody out has yet to hinder me in career, and when someone I know is successful I'm always happy for them. I'm also really not in a place to hold resentments of anyone else's success, seeing as I've been getting plenty of opportunities and oh yeah I was in a movie with Brandon Routh that's coming out this Spring, so I think I'll be OK for the foreseeable future. I think I mentioned in this blog though, how in the audition for Crooked Arrows I declined to share the new sides I'd printed out and brought with me with a fellow actor also auditioning for the part. I don't know if it made a difference, but the director did say to me during shooting "Michael, the reason you got the part in this film is because you were the only one to audition who was really prepared" so go figure. And you know what? I was prepared. I printed those sides, I learned them, I did my homework. Maybe I was also lucky that the casting agency called and told me there would be new sides on the website, it doesn't matter. What does is that I got the part in that case. And that one was sheer circumstance, nothing to do with anything I done for anybody prior to that. But the next one could be.
So today's lesson, always be on the lookout, for yourself and for ways to help other people out because karma can be your friend.
Whew! I was going to talk about the other stuff that happened this week, but that was a much more interesting post. Let's leave it at that.
One thing I did that was interesting this past week, was go to see Collective Stories. And then, I had lunch afterwards with one of it's stars, Bobbie Steinbach! By coincidence! A few weeks, maybe a month or so ago, another actor associate of mine invited me to participate in an informal reading of a new work a writer he knew was working in, which needed a male 20 something supporting character, and the other actor involved other than the two of us was Bobbie Steinbach, who hosted the event at her home. This was in a way, a lesson unto itself in "making it" on several levels. My associate, or let's just call him my friend, I knew from a workshop I did and subsequently a class we were in together. Another associate/friend of mine needed to cast a role in a show, which this person would have been a good fit for, so I got the two of them in touch. As it happened, he had a conflict with the production dates, and didn't go out for it. But I have no doubt that this lead in part to him contacting me about this other opportunity, which was a chance to meet some new people, a writer (who are some of the best people to know and work with, because if you attach your voice to the voice of a character early in it's development, oftentimes it will develop towards you and you might end up playing the part, as I likely will if this piece ever goes up) and a well known actor, Bobbie, who I respected. I then see Bobbie in Collected Stories this past Thursday, which was very good and you should see it if you get the chance. I really came away with no major criticisms. Overall it was a very satisfactory production, entertaining, engaging, thought provoking, and worth seeing. Afterwards, having time to cool and feeling hungry, I went to a eatery near the Arsenal but not in the main complex that my friend turned me onto when we working in the space this past May, and as I was finishing my sandwich, I saw Bobbie and she invited me to sit and have lunch with her and her husband, it was a lovely time.
All of which came out of being out in the world, and when I saw an opportunity that applied to someone I knew, I shared it. You know, it's a tricky dynamic. On the one hand, acting is so competitive, and it can be very "dog eat dog". If it had been something I thought I would be a good fit for, and I knew someone who also could be up for it, I might not have mentioned it especially if I wasn't especially close to the person in question, which in the case of my friend in the scenario above I'm not. On the other hand, you can't really "make it" completely on your own, you have to get help from other people somewhere along the line, and people are more likely to give help to someone who has helped them in some way prior to that moment.
It's tough knowing when to help out, and when to hold back. Granted, helping anybody out has yet to hinder me in career, and when someone I know is successful I'm always happy for them. I'm also really not in a place to hold resentments of anyone else's success, seeing as I've been getting plenty of opportunities and oh yeah I was in a movie with Brandon Routh that's coming out this Spring, so I think I'll be OK for the foreseeable future. I think I mentioned in this blog though, how in the audition for Crooked Arrows I declined to share the new sides I'd printed out and brought with me with a fellow actor also auditioning for the part. I don't know if it made a difference, but the director did say to me during shooting "Michael, the reason you got the part in this film is because you were the only one to audition who was really prepared" so go figure. And you know what? I was prepared. I printed those sides, I learned them, I did my homework. Maybe I was also lucky that the casting agency called and told me there would be new sides on the website, it doesn't matter. What does is that I got the part in that case. And that one was sheer circumstance, nothing to do with anything I done for anybody prior to that. But the next one could be.
So today's lesson, always be on the lookout, for yourself and for ways to help other people out because karma can be your friend.
Whew! I was going to talk about the other stuff that happened this week, but that was a much more interesting post. Let's leave it at that.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Standing Up to the third power
Tonight was my third attempt at stand up...
I'd like to write "and it was fantastic!" or "it was so gratifying!" or "I can't wait to do it again!" and I feel guilty because of all the nice encouragement I got when I posted I was going up tonight on Facebook, but... it was sorta "meh". I think I was the most comfortable I've been on stage as a stand up yet, out of my three times doing it, and hey that is progress. But I had an epiphany, starting out, to get your five minutes on stage at an open mic, you need to be committed to being in a room for at least, say two hours, in this case a rather loud room, watching person after person not really get any laughs before eventually getting up for your five minutes. To make matters worse for me tonight, after being told I would be going up shortly, the comic who I had been told would call me up called the person I was supposed to call up and then that person called someone else up, and so forth until I went and spoke to the guy organizing the event and he was very apologetic and diplomatic that a mistake had taken place. And you know, shit happens, it's fine, but it really killed any lingering excitement I had about reciting what I'd written in my notebook and had been preparing mentally for the past two hours. Appropriate to the hour (it was just after midnight) the crowd was pretty sleepy. My first few volleys went OK, but I pretty quickly lost momentum and I felt the crowd more or less tune out. I had hoped to take my buddy Chris Anton's advice and work in my "pseudo angry" character that I would do backstage, but I was so not into it at that point and so low energy, it wasn't really going to happen. I did sort of an imitation of it, and referenced said imitation, and that got kind of a laugh and sort of propelled me into my Hamlet bit. I should consider it an accomplishment that I held their attention for as long as I did, and with a fairly high brow joke about the presence of the Oedipus complex in Hamlet (high brow that is for an incest joke, HEY-OH!) but at the end of my five minutes... I just wasn't feeling it.
And I'm sorry to say it, but I feel like that's my relationship at this point to stand up in general. Granted this is only after going up three times at the same fairly difficult open mic night, but I just don't get the same joy that I do out of acting or improv, I don't really think it's a thing that justifies the amount of time and effort required for me to do just five minutes. I know some people really love it... but I just don't seem to. Maybe when I'm able to get there earlier in the night and subsequently go up before midnight, I'll try it again, but that probably won't be for a while. If I do
I'd like to write "and it was fantastic!" or "it was so gratifying!" or "I can't wait to do it again!" and I feel guilty because of all the nice encouragement I got when I posted I was going up tonight on Facebook, but... it was sorta "meh". I think I was the most comfortable I've been on stage as a stand up yet, out of my three times doing it, and hey that is progress. But I had an epiphany, starting out, to get your five minutes on stage at an open mic, you need to be committed to being in a room for at least, say two hours, in this case a rather loud room, watching person after person not really get any laughs before eventually getting up for your five minutes. To make matters worse for me tonight, after being told I would be going up shortly, the comic who I had been told would call me up called the person I was supposed to call up and then that person called someone else up, and so forth until I went and spoke to the guy organizing the event and he was very apologetic and diplomatic that a mistake had taken place. And you know, shit happens, it's fine, but it really killed any lingering excitement I had about reciting what I'd written in my notebook and had been preparing mentally for the past two hours. Appropriate to the hour (it was just after midnight) the crowd was pretty sleepy. My first few volleys went OK, but I pretty quickly lost momentum and I felt the crowd more or less tune out. I had hoped to take my buddy Chris Anton's advice and work in my "pseudo angry" character that I would do backstage, but I was so not into it at that point and so low energy, it wasn't really going to happen. I did sort of an imitation of it, and referenced said imitation, and that got kind of a laugh and sort of propelled me into my Hamlet bit. I should consider it an accomplishment that I held their attention for as long as I did, and with a fairly high brow joke about the presence of the Oedipus complex in Hamlet (high brow that is for an incest joke, HEY-OH!) but at the end of my five minutes... I just wasn't feeling it.
And I'm sorry to say it, but I feel like that's my relationship at this point to stand up in general. Granted this is only after going up three times at the same fairly difficult open mic night, but I just don't get the same joy that I do out of acting or improv, I don't really think it's a thing that justifies the amount of time and effort required for me to do just five minutes. I know some people really love it... but I just don't seem to. Maybe when I'm able to get there earlier in the night and subsequently go up before midnight, I'll try it again, but that probably won't be for a while. If I do
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Discovery
I've made some fun discoveries over the course of the past few rehearsals for Our Town. At first, when presented with the challenge of playing Mr. Webb, one of the play's two father figures to the couple central to the play's story, I thought of playing my own father. As is often the case however, changes happen, and with plans evaporate or morph. With the encouragement of the director, and through my own engagement and sense of play with the text, I've found Mr. Webb to be much closer to myself then I initially thought, but a different side of myself then I usually end up playing. I find it easy to inhabit the comedic "Woody Allen" archetype or a variation on that form for many of my roles, it's a template I return to frequently because I know how to do it and it works, and it reflects an aspect of my self which I can magnify appropriately for a role. That isn't the rhythm I'm finding for Mr. Webb though, who throughout the play finds himself in the position of "winging it", and with some hesitation but not so much as to be crippling, tackles the issue at hand and finds a solution with humor and bravado. Sounds like someone I know... that would be myself, but a more mature version of myself, who has experiences to draw on and knows how to handle situations and find answers to questions. Mr. Webb is in his own way, a take charge kind of guy. He has an easy going but confident manner, he stands up straight, he tells it like he sees it, but again does all this with his own charm and humor. I find myself really liking the guy, and rather then drawing on a comic stereotype of myself as a kid or variation on a man child, I'm playing an idealized version of my adult self, who doesn't always have the answer but when he doesn't is able to find a reasonable compromise.
My director has been extremely helpful in this process, and I've been having a great time. He's more of an outside in kind of guy (I wonder if that has to do with his design background, oh yeah probably), and in this production is interested in using different levels of stylization to achieve the best story possible. He has an awareness of theatre as a heightened reality but which is constantly grounded in the experience of the audience, taking in the play. The style of the play is a naturalism which appreciates it's own status as a style and acknowledges that it is not set in the present, and allows the characters to represent people from the past. I could go on trying to describe the aesthetic and the slight Brechtian elements (no stop don't be turned off it's nothing bad or crazy just slightly deconstructed), but I'll hold off for now.
Regardless, I'm having a good time and it will be a production worth seeing of a play not commonly done well. In other news, Rosencratz and Guildenstern are Dead came to a close, and I am left with mixed feelings. Certain aspects of the production could have been executed better. Rather then go into detail, I'll allow that anyone reading this from the show knows what I'm talking about, and I'm not blaming anybody just stating a fact. At the end of the day, for me as an artist, I didn't leave the theatre being all that satisfied with having done something worthwhile, and I mean that in the most selfish possible sense. I, the actor, was at no point in the spotlight in any substantial way or contributed to the production in a way that made a difference to the rest of the piece, and that was a little frustrating, putting the hours commuting, rehearsing, etc for no real pay off or gained experience which I could draw on in a substantial way in the future which I would not have gotten from just reading the play a lot, maybe.
On the other hand, I made a lot of friends and enjoyed the company of some really good people who I hope to work with again in the future, or just have a beer with at some point. And that's certainly worthwhile. It's kind of a funny contrast, in that I usually feel somewhat more of the former (satisfaction with my artistic contribution) then the latter (a sense of camaraderie and friendship among my peers) just because I'm kind of socially awkward and often have a hard time getting really comfortable with a group of people, and knowing they will take my sense of humor the right way. But I did have that in this particular dressing room, and I'll miss the folks I had it with. C'est la vie! Until the next one, right?
My director has been extremely helpful in this process, and I've been having a great time. He's more of an outside in kind of guy (I wonder if that has to do with his design background, oh yeah probably), and in this production is interested in using different levels of stylization to achieve the best story possible. He has an awareness of theatre as a heightened reality but which is constantly grounded in the experience of the audience, taking in the play. The style of the play is a naturalism which appreciates it's own status as a style and acknowledges that it is not set in the present, and allows the characters to represent people from the past. I could go on trying to describe the aesthetic and the slight Brechtian elements (no stop don't be turned off it's nothing bad or crazy just slightly deconstructed), but I'll hold off for now.
Regardless, I'm having a good time and it will be a production worth seeing of a play not commonly done well. In other news, Rosencratz and Guildenstern are Dead came to a close, and I am left with mixed feelings. Certain aspects of the production could have been executed better. Rather then go into detail, I'll allow that anyone reading this from the show knows what I'm talking about, and I'm not blaming anybody just stating a fact. At the end of the day, for me as an artist, I didn't leave the theatre being all that satisfied with having done something worthwhile, and I mean that in the most selfish possible sense. I, the actor, was at no point in the spotlight in any substantial way or contributed to the production in a way that made a difference to the rest of the piece, and that was a little frustrating, putting the hours commuting, rehearsing, etc for no real pay off or gained experience which I could draw on in a substantial way in the future which I would not have gotten from just reading the play a lot, maybe.
On the other hand, I made a lot of friends and enjoyed the company of some really good people who I hope to work with again in the future, or just have a beer with at some point. And that's certainly worthwhile. It's kind of a funny contrast, in that I usually feel somewhat more of the former (satisfaction with my artistic contribution) then the latter (a sense of camaraderie and friendship among my peers) just because I'm kind of socially awkward and often have a hard time getting really comfortable with a group of people, and knowing they will take my sense of humor the right way. But I did have that in this particular dressing room, and I'll miss the folks I had it with. C'est la vie! Until the next one, right?
Thursday, September 22, 2011
bodies in space
Well, I'm chugging along at a comfortable pace. Taking stock post graduation, so far, so good, nothing I can complain about. Rosencratz and Guildenstern had a strong opening. I could complain about the time and effort I put into being in that show for a total of five or ten minutes of stage time with no lines in a 2 hour plus show with three weekends of performances... but I can't really complain about that. My role is just the perfect size that I was able to blow off two weeks or so of rehearsal right in the middle of the process to go be in a movie, anything else of any size would have created a conflict which have resulted in me walking out on the production to go make money, but I didn't have to do that. Also, I have made a bunch of new friends, more so than I would say I have on other shows I feel like these could be lasting connections I've been making. Of course, they probably won't amount to much more than "liking" an occasional post on Facebook and saying "what's up" at an audition, "oh not much, you?" "yeah same" I always say that even though I've had a bunch of stuff happen in the past year, I don't usually feel like going into it in a short amount of time. Especially with the movie thing, I feel kind of embarrassed describing the scope of this incredible achievement to people, but should I? If it weren't for the fact that I'm the only person I know, especially in my cohort, to reach that level I might feel less weird. But yeah, I kinda do, I went there. I feel weird as well that I didn't appreciate it as much as I could have at the time, I spent a lot of the time I was on set unhappy to be there, when it was a really great gig from which I benefited tremendously financially and from which I hope to gain further benefit professionally when it comes out and I do the paper work to get my SAG card, etc...
But enough about that. It's old news! I have all this stuff in the pipeline, R&G is up and running, Our Town is in rehearsals, Uncle Vanya will be going up in December, next year the film should come out... why aren't I more satisfied? I'm still hungry, which is a good thing, you have to be hungry as an actor, but I don't really have room for anything else. I'm more or less booked out until February, which is a good thing, but it leaves me without anything to chase after...
Which isn't even really true. I have a lot to work on as an actor, most of it having to do with my physical instrument. I guess I'm not in terrible shape, especially compared to when I was younger, but I have a long way to go in the physical fitness department. Ever seen me touch my toes? Me neither. I've been keeping up with my Alexander technique practice, that's helped my posture substantially, but I've been neglecting my obligations to the gym, my physical flexibility, and my overall physical presence and awareness. I was called out on this the other day, at the first meeting of a new scene study I'm doing with Rosalind Thomas Clark and Victoria Marsh of Company One. For the first class we had to present a monologue, and like Ross Macdonald before them, they called me out on a lack of physical awareness. Part of this was nerves and going first in the class (I do that a lot) but it's something I need to address before I can continue my progress. One thing among many...
But enough about that. It's old news! I have all this stuff in the pipeline, R&G is up and running, Our Town is in rehearsals, Uncle Vanya will be going up in December, next year the film should come out... why aren't I more satisfied? I'm still hungry, which is a good thing, you have to be hungry as an actor, but I don't really have room for anything else. I'm more or less booked out until February, which is a good thing, but it leaves me without anything to chase after...
Which isn't even really true. I have a lot to work on as an actor, most of it having to do with my physical instrument. I guess I'm not in terrible shape, especially compared to when I was younger, but I have a long way to go in the physical fitness department. Ever seen me touch my toes? Me neither. I've been keeping up with my Alexander technique practice, that's helped my posture substantially, but I've been neglecting my obligations to the gym, my physical flexibility, and my overall physical presence and awareness. I was called out on this the other day, at the first meeting of a new scene study I'm doing with Rosalind Thomas Clark and Victoria Marsh of Company One. For the first class we had to present a monologue, and like Ross Macdonald before them, they called me out on a lack of physical awareness. Part of this was nerves and going first in the class (I do that a lot) but it's something I need to address before I can continue my progress. One thing among many...
Thursday, September 8, 2011
But then I speak of dreams, which are the children of an idle brain, begot of nothing but vain fantasy
A week ago on Stagesource, Stoneham Theatre posted an audition notice for Mercutio in their production of Romeo and Juliet. You might have seen the posting, I mentioned it to my friend Chris at a rehearsal for R&G Are Dead as I started to explain it's contents he said "of course it was on Stagesource, it's a Thursday of course I checked Stagesource, even though I'm committed to all these different things, what if there was something better!" Sidetracked, I just thought that was funny. Anyway of course I responded, because I knew Stoneham was doing R&J with age appropriate actors and I'd submitted for it but I think at the time they were looking for specifically high school aged actors, which although I can play high school aged, I am of course not. So when I saw the posting, I got excited and jumped to respond. One of my goals professionally is to do more Shakespeare, another one of my goals is to be cast in an equity show. Both of these are things that I'll achieve eventually, I don't doubt that I'll get there. This would achieve two of those goals, however, and in the form of one of those roles that I'd really love to sink my teeth into, one of Shakespeare's great comic parts.
I recieved a response within... twelve hours at least, and looked at the requirements. They'd asked for actors to either prepare the Queen Mab speech or R&J Act II scene i between Benvolio and Mercutio directly before the balcony scene. I chose Queen Mab, pulled my Arden off the shelf, and started going over it, untangling all of the crazy images of the speech and their meaning. I also shot off an email to my fantastic acting coach, who although she was directing a show about to go up at Stoneham I'd hoped would have some time to help with the piece. She did, over the weekend I continued reviewing it, I met with her on Monday and we broke it down. All of the things I didn't get, the pronunciations I had wrong, etc, she helped me with, we broke down into it's parts and found specific things about those parts and made a nice big comic showpiece of the speech. I felt really good about our work together, and I set about memorizing it as much as possible.
Tuesday I continued working on it, although not as diligently as I could have.
Wednesday, yesterday, was the big day. On the train ride to Melrose to meet my Mom who would then take me to the theatre for my 5 PM audition, I reviewed the speech and found that I had it pretty well and good in my brain, I thought. I was just at the point where I could recite it to myself, image to image, without looking at the paper, I was just right at that point. I got to the theatre, my mouth was dry. I went to the bathroom, drank some water from the faucet (there might have been a water fountain I didn't see one), and gargled cause isn't that a thing you do? I filled out the form, which the other two fellows and one lady (they were open to cross casting) directed me to, and waited. The girl went in before me. She was also doing Queen Mab. At the time I judged her piece before moving to another section of hallway where I wouldn't hear it, but without seeing it what can one really tell? Not much. She finished, I went in, introduced myself and then BOOM "Ohhhhhh I see QUEEN MAB has been with you!" and on from there. I thought the piece was going well, I was focused on my imaginary Romeo but caught a few glimpses of their faces. They seemed engaged, with a look of either fascination or horror or SOMETHING (let's say fascination), and I continued through what I'd prepared, through the intro, into the description of the chariot's components, into where Queen Mab rides and then... what does she ride over? Knees? Fingers? Lips? I'd lost my place! I went blank, stopped, "Annnnd I lost my place" I admitted somewhat sheepishly with a smile, which got a chuckle, pulled out my paper found where I was and continued. Of course I lost some momentum, became a little more self conscious then I had been, but got back on track and finished. Then they said "Thank you!" I said thank you back.... and left.
I suppose it could have gone better. I could have not went up on that line, I could have learned the speech a little bit better to prepare for that possibility. I could have been a little more spontaneous, I'm worried that my comic gesturing may have come off as planned or calculated and not as "in the moment" as I know I'm capable of. None of that really matters. That is a hard ass speech, and I prepared it in a week and delivered... Mike Handelman! Doing Queen Mab! As best as I could. I would not say I was anything other than myself in that audition. And especially for a character actor, yourself is the most you can be. The question is, how did I deliver technically (pretty well, overall I thought) and as a character actor, do I fit in with their idea of what they want their Mercutio to be? I would say I would be a very capable, entertaining and interesting Mercutio (IMHO as unhumble as that might sound) but nor am I an obvious choice for the role. I'd allowed myself to become invested in it, again two career goals in one, but now that it's over I'm at peace with whatever the result happens to be. As is necessary in the life of an actor, I've resigned myself to not getting the part, to getting a "thank you, but no" email or no contact at all. Those of you who are non actors might think that's pessimistic, but it's just the reality.
Knowing that I'm not an obvious choice for the role and probably wouldn't be getting it, I came into it thinking I would treat the experience as an exercise. The result of which would be, if nothing else, a comprehensive blog post on my experience preparing for and executing an audition piece, for posterity and viewing later on after I've done a whole bunch of Shakespeare and equity shows I can say "oh yeah I remember that one audition, back when I first learned Queen Mab..."
I recieved a response within... twelve hours at least, and looked at the requirements. They'd asked for actors to either prepare the Queen Mab speech or R&J Act II scene i between Benvolio and Mercutio directly before the balcony scene. I chose Queen Mab, pulled my Arden off the shelf, and started going over it, untangling all of the crazy images of the speech and their meaning. I also shot off an email to my fantastic acting coach, who although she was directing a show about to go up at Stoneham I'd hoped would have some time to help with the piece. She did, over the weekend I continued reviewing it, I met with her on Monday and we broke it down. All of the things I didn't get, the pronunciations I had wrong, etc, she helped me with, we broke down into it's parts and found specific things about those parts and made a nice big comic showpiece of the speech. I felt really good about our work together, and I set about memorizing it as much as possible.
Tuesday I continued working on it, although not as diligently as I could have.
Wednesday, yesterday, was the big day. On the train ride to Melrose to meet my Mom who would then take me to the theatre for my 5 PM audition, I reviewed the speech and found that I had it pretty well and good in my brain, I thought. I was just at the point where I could recite it to myself, image to image, without looking at the paper, I was just right at that point. I got to the theatre, my mouth was dry. I went to the bathroom, drank some water from the faucet (there might have been a water fountain I didn't see one), and gargled cause isn't that a thing you do? I filled out the form, which the other two fellows and one lady (they were open to cross casting) directed me to, and waited. The girl went in before me. She was also doing Queen Mab. At the time I judged her piece before moving to another section of hallway where I wouldn't hear it, but without seeing it what can one really tell? Not much. She finished, I went in, introduced myself and then BOOM "Ohhhhhh I see QUEEN MAB has been with you!" and on from there. I thought the piece was going well, I was focused on my imaginary Romeo but caught a few glimpses of their faces. They seemed engaged, with a look of either fascination or horror or SOMETHING (let's say fascination), and I continued through what I'd prepared, through the intro, into the description of the chariot's components, into where Queen Mab rides and then... what does she ride over? Knees? Fingers? Lips? I'd lost my place! I went blank, stopped, "Annnnd I lost my place" I admitted somewhat sheepishly with a smile, which got a chuckle, pulled out my paper found where I was and continued. Of course I lost some momentum, became a little more self conscious then I had been, but got back on track and finished. Then they said "Thank you!" I said thank you back.... and left.
I suppose it could have gone better. I could have not went up on that line, I could have learned the speech a little bit better to prepare for that possibility. I could have been a little more spontaneous, I'm worried that my comic gesturing may have come off as planned or calculated and not as "in the moment" as I know I'm capable of. None of that really matters. That is a hard ass speech, and I prepared it in a week and delivered... Mike Handelman! Doing Queen Mab! As best as I could. I would not say I was anything other than myself in that audition. And especially for a character actor, yourself is the most you can be. The question is, how did I deliver technically (pretty well, overall I thought) and as a character actor, do I fit in with their idea of what they want their Mercutio to be? I would say I would be a very capable, entertaining and interesting Mercutio (IMHO as unhumble as that might sound) but nor am I an obvious choice for the role. I'd allowed myself to become invested in it, again two career goals in one, but now that it's over I'm at peace with whatever the result happens to be. As is necessary in the life of an actor, I've resigned myself to not getting the part, to getting a "thank you, but no" email or no contact at all. Those of you who are non actors might think that's pessimistic, but it's just the reality.
Knowing that I'm not an obvious choice for the role and probably wouldn't be getting it, I came into it thinking I would treat the experience as an exercise. The result of which would be, if nothing else, a comprehensive blog post on my experience preparing for and executing an audition piece, for posterity and viewing later on after I've done a whole bunch of Shakespeare and equity shows I can say "oh yeah I remember that one audition, back when I first learned Queen Mab..."
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Guitar Post!
If you follow me on Facebook, and if your on this blog I don't know how you could be unless you do, you know that I bought a new guitar with my Crooked Arrows money. It's a Godin Passion, basically a very fancy stratocaster with various bells and whistles but a stratocaster none the less. Fellow musician types (and non musicians too, I can imagine) know what it's like to be in kind of a slump, playing the same old stuff over and over again when you improvise, not realizing the level of playing you aspire to or are capable of, I'd been feeling that. Sometimes new equipment brings new inspiration, and this guitar has done that for me, without a doubt. Corresponding to this, I've started doing music recording stuff again, which is something I was into for a while in high school back in my early guitar days. Now that I have this fancy high powered mac book, I've been fiddling with iMovie as well, and putting together legitimate little videos instead of just the occasional Youtube quick capture. Here are some! Enjoy!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Time keeps on slipping
If your of my generation, remember being in middle or high school and having Live Journal? Posting lyrics to songs to your journal or using song titles/lyrics as the title of your posts, or where you had the option of putting in a little tag "So and So is listening to this"? Consider the title of this post an homage to those heady days.
I find myself drawn to them at this time of year, the transition from summer to fall. It's strange to realize that for the first time in my life that switch is happening and I'm not starting the next phase of some academic agenda. Instead I'm just left with life itself, moving forward, establishing patterns, getting older. And also getting wiser, finding new experiences, all of those things that come with time's unceasing momentum.
I have a lot of stuff going on for the fall. Rosencratz and Guildenstern is opening soon, really soon. After that, I keep forgetting about this but I'm committed to play the narrator in this tribal/belly dance show (definitely something I found on Craigslist). After R&G I'm playing Mr. Webb in Riverside Theatre Works' production of Our Town not a show I had expected to find myself in... ever. Then I'm playing the Spearcarrier I mean Watchmen in Uncle Vanya at Apollanaire in Chelsea. So many things! All of that is carrying me through... my god, January. Which is about how long my movie pay checks should be carrying me as well.
And after that... it will be on to the next thing. I have a lot to decide this fall. Do I want to try for graduate school? New York? Los Angeles? I'm not thinking completely relocating, but I feel like I should be thinking of trying to branch out of Boston and into somewhere to try and take advantage of this movie momentum. And in the meantime, Boston stuff is going well. I'm in all these shows, for example. Three of them! Lots of actors have a hard time getting in one, much less committing to two at a time. I also need to join SAG at some point. And get a voice over demo recorded, and then possibly join AFTRA. I mean inevitably I'll need to join both, the question is when and how to best take advantage.
I was talking with a friend about all this, grad school vs New York vs regional theatre and he said that opportunities will present themselves and I should just take them when they do. At the time I disagreed with him, but then again that's how I got Crooked Arrows. But that was also being in the right place in the right time, aka luck. A lot of this business is luck. And I've been lucky so far. To get that good luck requires hard work and tenacity and being in the places which could turn out to be the right place, at that right time, nothing ever came to anyone for sitting around and waiting for it to happen. Even if it did, I wouldn't want it to happen that way, I like working. But working towards what? That is the question.
I find myself drawn to them at this time of year, the transition from summer to fall. It's strange to realize that for the first time in my life that switch is happening and I'm not starting the next phase of some academic agenda. Instead I'm just left with life itself, moving forward, establishing patterns, getting older. And also getting wiser, finding new experiences, all of those things that come with time's unceasing momentum.
I have a lot of stuff going on for the fall. Rosencratz and Guildenstern is opening soon, really soon. After that, I keep forgetting about this but I'm committed to play the narrator in this tribal/belly dance show (definitely something I found on Craigslist). After R&G I'm playing Mr. Webb in Riverside Theatre Works' production of Our Town not a show I had expected to find myself in... ever. Then I'm playing the Spearcarrier I mean Watchmen in Uncle Vanya at Apollanaire in Chelsea. So many things! All of that is carrying me through... my god, January. Which is about how long my movie pay checks should be carrying me as well.
And after that... it will be on to the next thing. I have a lot to decide this fall. Do I want to try for graduate school? New York? Los Angeles? I'm not thinking completely relocating, but I feel like I should be thinking of trying to branch out of Boston and into somewhere to try and take advantage of this movie momentum. And in the meantime, Boston stuff is going well. I'm in all these shows, for example. Three of them! Lots of actors have a hard time getting in one, much less committing to two at a time. I also need to join SAG at some point. And get a voice over demo recorded, and then possibly join AFTRA. I mean inevitably I'll need to join both, the question is when and how to best take advantage.
I was talking with a friend about all this, grad school vs New York vs regional theatre and he said that opportunities will present themselves and I should just take them when they do. At the time I disagreed with him, but then again that's how I got Crooked Arrows. But that was also being in the right place in the right time, aka luck. A lot of this business is luck. And I've been lucky so far. To get that good luck requires hard work and tenacity and being in the places which could turn out to be the right place, at that right time, nothing ever came to anyone for sitting around and waiting for it to happen. Even if it did, I wouldn't want it to happen that way, I like working. But working towards what? That is the question.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Linked from The Hub Review?!
Today was spent playing in the Footlight Club. For the third act of R&G we have a pretty sweet pirate fight sequence lined up, with some great physical comedy and assorted shenanigans which tonight we spent rehearsing and constructing. It was fun! I get carried across the stage screaming and flailing before getting tossed over board, off stage. So I don't actually get tossed overboard but that's the story we're trying to tell. It's cool! You should check out the production when it hits September 16th (and runs through October 1st).
In other news, I actually responded to Thomas Garvey's review of All's Well with some of my thoughts on it and he responded back and linked to my blog! *Gasp*! Thomas Garvey read my hastily put together review of All's Well That End's Well? I seriously put more time in the comment I put to his original post than I did to my own on this blog. Anyway, that was a solid of him to do that, so I'm linking back to his original post, where you can find another guy's comment and his response, followed by my comment and his response basically agreeing to disagree very amicably and then linking back here.
http://hubreview.blogspot.com/2011/08/alls-well-that-ends-well-okay.html
I assume from that link I got my first "follower" on blogger. Hey man! What's up? Hope you like what your reading. I'll return the favor at some point.
In other news, I actually responded to Thomas Garvey's review of All's Well with some of my thoughts on it and he responded back and linked to my blog! *Gasp*! Thomas Garvey read my hastily put together review of All's Well That End's Well? I seriously put more time in the comment I put to his original post than I did to my own on this blog. Anyway, that was a solid of him to do that, so I'm linking back to his original post, where you can find another guy's comment and his response, followed by my comment and his response basically agreeing to disagree very amicably and then linking back here.
http://hubreview.blogspot.com/2011/08/alls-well-that-ends-well-okay.html
I assume from that link I got my first "follower" on blogger. Hey man! What's up? Hope you like what your reading. I'll return the favor at some point.
That's a wrap!
Tuesday was my last day on the set of Crooked Arrows. As an experience, it was exceptionally bitter sweet. We were back in Topsfield, so it was a different flavor of waiting around then I'd experienced working at St. John's, where I literally had absolutely nothing to do for the entire first three days on set. The Topsfield fair grounds stuff was slightly more involved, specifically I had to be on my little step ladder perch thing (if you go to the Crooked Arrows Facebook page and search their photos you can find documented evidence of this) watching the games and miming talking. I did also have some text to do on the last day, so I did that, and shortly afterwards was told I was wrapped at which point our Assistant Director, David Mendoza realized I was wrapped up in a bow wrapped (that's not a real film making expression I just made that up) and Steve, the director, made a very nice speech and there were many hugs and hand shakes and some applause and it felt very gratifying, and dark chocolately (bitter sweet).
I'm going to think back on the friends I made, and miss them. Probably, the crew people I got to know I'll see again on set, more than likely as an extra but they them's the brakes. I'll have an easier time of it with them knowing I'm not an idiot and capable of taking care of myself, while not screwing things up or making their job harder. I do have mixed feelings about film (so much waiting) but if and when I'm offered a chance to dive back in, you know I'll take it. Also, Facebook!
Anyway, afterwards I rushed to Jamaica Plain and the Footlight Club for a rehearsal of Rosencratz and Guildenstern Are Dead. It was quintessential community theatre, everybody standing around the piano looking at sheet music, most of us not really singers trying to get something good sounding out of the traditional tune Ophelia sings when she goes crazy. It felt good and strange to be back. I have a lot more theatre ahead of me, between R&G and Our Town, but what's after that?
It's a question I've been pondering. There are definitely gaps in my training I need to fill, and the issue of getting in shape, but I've got a lot of momentum from this movie, or I could turn this movie into a lot of momentum if I play my cards right, and what are the correct cards to play? I've got some ideas. New York? Could be the next step. I'm thinking do these shows, take another class this fall with one of the casting agencies or theatre companies around here, do the month long intensive at Shakespeare and Company in January, then in February/March when hopefully stuff will start coming out for the movie don't book any more Boston gigs and start focusing on NYC, getting my stuff to casting directors, agents, managers, etc. Shit is going to get real.
I'm going to think back on the friends I made, and miss them. Probably, the crew people I got to know I'll see again on set, more than likely as an extra but they them's the brakes. I'll have an easier time of it with them knowing I'm not an idiot and capable of taking care of myself, while not screwing things up or making their job harder. I do have mixed feelings about film (so much waiting) but if and when I'm offered a chance to dive back in, you know I'll take it. Also, Facebook!
Anyway, afterwards I rushed to Jamaica Plain and the Footlight Club for a rehearsal of Rosencratz and Guildenstern Are Dead. It was quintessential community theatre, everybody standing around the piano looking at sheet music, most of us not really singers trying to get something good sounding out of the traditional tune Ophelia sings when she goes crazy. It felt good and strange to be back. I have a lot more theatre ahead of me, between R&G and Our Town, but what's after that?
It's a question I've been pondering. There are definitely gaps in my training I need to fill, and the issue of getting in shape, but I've got a lot of momentum from this movie, or I could turn this movie into a lot of momentum if I play my cards right, and what are the correct cards to play? I've got some ideas. New York? Could be the next step. I'm thinking do these shows, take another class this fall with one of the casting agencies or theatre companies around here, do the month long intensive at Shakespeare and Company in January, then in February/March when hopefully stuff will start coming out for the movie don't book any more Boston gigs and start focusing on NYC, getting my stuff to casting directors, agents, managers, etc. Shit is going to get real.
Monday, August 15, 2011
All's Well That Ends Well DID INDEED End Well
This is my first blog post as a theatre goer! Exciting! Last night was the final performance of CSC's production of All's Well That End's Well, you know, the one you might have auditioned for (I sure did) that went up in Boston Common these past few weeks. Well, normally I don't go to CSC's stuff, the crowds are huge, you get a crappy view, the productions are OK but don't seem worth the effort to me and I actually don't put in the effort to see that much theatre unless I know somebody in it or it's like, right in Harvard Square, even then I go to the theatre far less than I really should. But, my friend David Gardener has struck up a tradition of getting groups of people together on his birthday to come and see the plays every summer, and since Adia had gotten in touch with David about some bike stuff and he was all like "you guys should come to my thing" and she had a friend coming in from out of town who we needed to find stuff to bring on... we ended up going! We arrived at 6:30 for the 7 o'clock performance, which would probably be a mob scene under normal circumstances but due to the weather, it was cloudy and drizzling intermittently all day and the forecast predicting like a 90% chance of rain, not that many people came out. As such, we got BALLER ASS SEATS or spots, I should say, the likes of which would have netted in the hundreds of dollars to sit in the orchestra of an indoor production. I had read head lines vaguely extolling the virtues of this production, and realized that three people who taught in the semi-program I had attended, one of whom I'd taken multiple classes with, all of whom I'd seen in various other things, had prominent roles.
Long story short, I really enjoyed the show. Before writing this, I admit I checked in the Hub Review, local critic Thomas Garvey's art blog in which he reviews the first two thirds of All's Well, and compares it to "arena Shakespeare" but holds that the setting is incapable of capturing the play's "essence" which has to do with all this stuff about death and hedonism in society and the various things Shakespeare was working through in the latter part of his career. He has a point, but I felt like he's comparing it to some other ideal production of the piece, specifically his ideal production, and was basically saying it wasn't to his ideal. And that's fine. I hadn't read or experienced All's Well That End's Well, and I appreciated the ease with which the play flowed and moved, I thought it moved exceptionally well which I don't care what "thematic ideals" you are in pursuit of, that is absolutely necessary in staging Shakespeare. I did agree that the woman playing the lead was just OK, capable, but didn't do anything fantastic. Overall I thought the show was pitched to entertain and allow the audience to understand what the characters are saying and doing at any given time, both of which it accomplished very capably.
Long story short, I really enjoyed the show. Before writing this, I admit I checked in the Hub Review, local critic Thomas Garvey's art blog in which he reviews the first two thirds of All's Well, and compares it to "arena Shakespeare" but holds that the setting is incapable of capturing the play's "essence" which has to do with all this stuff about death and hedonism in society and the various things Shakespeare was working through in the latter part of his career. He has a point, but I felt like he's comparing it to some other ideal production of the piece, specifically his ideal production, and was basically saying it wasn't to his ideal. And that's fine. I hadn't read or experienced All's Well That End's Well, and I appreciated the ease with which the play flowed and moved, I thought it moved exceptionally well which I don't care what "thematic ideals" you are in pursuit of, that is absolutely necessary in staging Shakespeare. I did agree that the woman playing the lead was just OK, capable, but didn't do anything fantastic. Overall I thought the show was pitched to entertain and allow the audience to understand what the characters are saying and doing at any given time, both of which it accomplished very capably.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Done with deadlines
Today is my first day off after being on set Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. My first day off this week from having a deadline "be on set by this time" or even my usual Sunday rehearsal for my next show "be in JP by this time". It's such a relief to just sleep, and wake up and not have to be anywhere at any particular time. And make coffee. I can just make a pot of coffee, put some water on to boil, pour it over the grinds, etc, all in my own good time. No rush to be at the train by a particular time. No hurrying up to wait.
This week was a whole lot of waiting... waiting... waiting. Three days of it before I did any shooting. Three days of getting paid, yes. But it was frustrating non the less for me as I don't like being paid to do nothing as much as I like getting paid to do something. Anything at all. But I was just sitting around. Not that I have any right to complain! Shooting on Friday went fantastic, and Thursday I got to see a "sizzle reel", just a rough cut of some stuff they'd shot in the first week in a sort of demo trailer and it looked great, and featured me prominently which was cool.
Some one asked me yesterday what I would do after this was over, how I would capitalize on it, and I'm not sure. I think try and get an agent. I think? I have new copies of my resume ready to go out, with my latest credits and "SAG Eligible" written across the top. I'd still like to try and book an Equity show in Boston. And hopefully do some more film work, maybe some commercials. And start doing voiceover. And go to graduate school. And also get my driver's license. Yeah I never did do that...
Well, in the meantime, after this shoot is over which for me will be next week I think, Rosencratz and Guildenstern are Dead goes up at the Footlight Club, and I was just cast this week as Mr. Webb in Our Town at Riverside Theatre Works. That'll be happening towards the end of October. Back to the theatre! What a relief that will be.
The other big project on the horizon, which will contribute no doubt to my getting an agent, will be putting together my demo reel. That will involve hunting down all the stuff I've shot in the past two years, and getting DVDs of it from the people I shot them with. Mind you, I've done a lot of stuff, so material isn't the issue it's getting access to it. Then hiring a good editor. Yep.
This week was a whole lot of waiting... waiting... waiting. Three days of it before I did any shooting. Three days of getting paid, yes. But it was frustrating non the less for me as I don't like being paid to do nothing as much as I like getting paid to do something. Anything at all. But I was just sitting around. Not that I have any right to complain! Shooting on Friday went fantastic, and Thursday I got to see a "sizzle reel", just a rough cut of some stuff they'd shot in the first week in a sort of demo trailer and it looked great, and featured me prominently which was cool.
Some one asked me yesterday what I would do after this was over, how I would capitalize on it, and I'm not sure. I think try and get an agent. I think? I have new copies of my resume ready to go out, with my latest credits and "SAG Eligible" written across the top. I'd still like to try and book an Equity show in Boston. And hopefully do some more film work, maybe some commercials. And start doing voiceover. And go to graduate school. And also get my driver's license. Yeah I never did do that...
Well, in the meantime, after this shoot is over which for me will be next week I think, Rosencratz and Guildenstern are Dead goes up at the Footlight Club, and I was just cast this week as Mr. Webb in Our Town at Riverside Theatre Works. That'll be happening towards the end of October. Back to the theatre! What a relief that will be.
The other big project on the horizon, which will contribute no doubt to my getting an agent, will be putting together my demo reel. That will involve hunting down all the stuff I've shot in the past two years, and getting DVDs of it from the people I shot them with. Mind you, I've done a lot of stuff, so material isn't the issue it's getting access to it. Then hiring a good editor. Yep.
Monday, August 8, 2011
film craft vs stage craft (vs craft services? haha no): a meditation
I've been thinking about the differences between acting for film and acting for the stage. I've read in interviews with film actors who started out in theater that doing theater is the best possible training for an actor, and I think that's true, because on stage you can't fake your way into a good performance. Whereas on film, you can, sort of. Acting is, ultimately, the lie that tells the truth. But the kinds of lies you can tell on stage vs on camera are different. From a directorial perspective theater, especially in it's contemporary form, has to be at least a little bit inherently meta. Whether you explicitly acknowledge that meta theatricality and make it part of your aesthetic or try to leave it alone as much as possible is a personal choice, but a stage actor has to be at least somewhat aware of the audience, and you as an actor have to convince them to accept that even though you are on a stage, this story is really happening. This comes down to communication and relationship, I think, that you are actually talking to the person who is on stage with you and not just reciting words which you memorized to say in a memorized way, but authentically reaching them. Stanislavksy called this "truth". Stage actors and directors talk a lot about that kind of shit, you maybe probably know that. Film directors and actors don't necessarily! It's funny that as a mode for naturalistic story telling, film has theater completely beat, but somehow theater is still more real because real things are happening on stage, moment to moment, whereas a film is completely constructed through editing and everything else. You can't fake authentic communication on stage, and I've been taught that if you try to force an emotion onto a moment on stage it will deny the possibility for authentic communication. You can force emotion on film, though, and have it work, I think. This is why method acting became so prevalent and so many method actors are such successful film actors, if you ask me. If the story the audience experiences on film is of you losing your best friend, and you think about losing your dead dog, the camera will read the remorse or sadness or whatever emotion you are creating in your interior life through your eyes and the audience will accept it. You really need to get there, though. It's hard to fake that kind of stuff on film, because the camera really sees everything in a way a theater audience doesn't. In the theater they see if you are connected, on film the camera sees everything else.
Do you see what I mean? Does that make sense? These are things I've been thinking about, especially as I grapple what medium to throw myself into as I move forward with my career. I really love theater, the immediacy, the connection but film is fun too in it's own way, and you can get away with things you can't get away with on stage. You often have more freedom, because the director is not so beholden to the intention's of the writer, but has much more free reign interpretively and is more likely to share that with you, as long as you make good choices or in my case really, funny choices. Excuse me while I go back to my day off. You know what that means, laundry!
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