Yesterday I think the thing I experienced was that I was pushed to let my heart be as open as it's ever been to a piece of Shakespearian text, and I truly allowed everything Shakespeare put into his words to be channeled through me and through my instrument in a way that was thrilling and electrifying and feels like it's impossible to reproduce without someone grabbing me by the back of the neck and forcing it out (which is quite literally what happened).
Previously to that, our teacher had a conversation with the group about what for them makes great theatre, and afterwards in our feedback session everyone agreed that the thing I did was the thing they look for and feel in those moments of great theatre. One of the teaching assistants talked about how seeing my work in that moment filled them with hope for the human race.
I filled someone with hope for the human race! WITH MY ACTING! I didn't fully comprehend what an incredible thing that is until I was struggling to calm my mind enough to fall asleep at the end of the day yesterday. In my intro to the group and the faculty, I spoke briefly about the role of (secular) humanism in my life and the how I feel myself struggling to maintain an open heart to the world even after having been wounded through that openness in some truly deep ways in my life. I know my heart is open for others to access, but I'm realizing I need to open my heart to myself and to let other people's thoughts and feelings go into that place even if it means I can be hurt because it also means I can receive something incredibly beautiful, like happened yesterday.
I have that same teaching assistant to thank for that revelation. And the world, as well. Thank you.
No comments:
Post a Comment