Directing

Reading other people's blogs lead me to realize that someone with whom I've been collaborating had collaborated with previously another person with whom I had also collaborated in a production which meant a great deal to me, and upon looking up found pictures of I didn't realize existed and... wow. What a trip down memory lane. Oh I guess I'll tell you it was John Kuntz's blog, the person is Adam Stone and he directed the production of Pericles I did several moons ago, which... man what an incredible show that was. I don't even know how to describe it. We turned the entire theatre into Diana's temple. It was there the entire time under white butcher paper, and then at the most pivotal moment she came to Pericles and revealed it, and it was just amazing. I also got to play a bad guy, a really, really bad guy, which was awesome. And I had one of my most incredible on stage experiences. OK so basically Pericles is this Mediterranean prince during like the Roman era and he's traveling around and he comes to Antioch and the court of Antiochus to try and marry his daughter, who is renowned for her beauty and stuff. Except Antiochus, who is super evil (and in our version wore an Iron Maiden shirt and was super metal, if you've seen my Iron Maiden shirt that's where it's from) has this riddle and if you can't figure it out he chops off your head, except the answer is that he's having sex with his daughter, which Pericles realizes and manages to squirrel his way out of. After that, Antiochus comes back super pissed that he figured it out and plots to kill Pericles. So the second night, I wasn't feeling it so much as the previous night and was trying to do something different so I took a rubber head from my pile of heads and was addressing my speech to it but then I thought "this isn't working it's too Hamlet" at which point I threw the head against the ground in rage... it being rubber, it bounced off the ground, spun in the air above my head and came back down... right back into my hands.

The crowd erupts in laughter. It takes all my will power as a performer to keep it together, wait for the laughter to go down to start my next line and put the head back down onto the table which is on stage with me. That was one of the most incredible, serendipitous acting moments I've ever had and since I got started about Pericles, I had to share it.

And then thinking about Pericles and more recently Our Town both of which were fantastic productions due in large part to the strong directorial visions of Adam Stone and Jason Weber respectively, got me to thinking about directing. When I really start thinking about it, I think it's something I would like to do, except... I'm afraid. I directed a few scenes for classes while I was an undergrad, but I've never directed an entire piece. Part of what intimidates me is that I feel before I could really do something I would need a work that spoke to me on such a deep level that I could find a story within it that absolutely had to be told. Or something pretentious like that. Basically I would need to find something that I really, really like. But that I feel is within my power to pull off. For example, I really like Othello. There is no way I could pull that show off though as a director. It's up there with King Lear and Hamlet on the "difficult to make work" scale. Part of me also feels like I couldn't resist my own urge to act, and I would inevitably cast myself and be unable to effectively direct myself or the play at the same time and everything would inevitably suffer.

Still, I imagine it would be an incredible experience... having that level of ownership and creative control over something, to be able to conceive and execute a vision all your own (with the help and influence of numerous collaborators, of course) and see that on stage. Maybe, probably, someday. In the meantime, I can fantasize.