This evening I went with my family after doing presents and eating Christmas dinner to see Life of Pi in 3D at the AMC Loews in Downtown Boston, a film I'd read about based on a book people had told me about but which I'd never read, and I'm still processing the experience.
As a non religious person it spoke to me deeply about the meaning and level of importance in people's lives and how it helps them comprehend and accept both the beauty and the brutality of the natural world and the human experience.
And... I don't know, I can't summarize the themes of the film any more meaningfully than Ang Lee's images, especially experienced in 3D in a crowded theatre full of people. So if you can before it's pushed out completely from theaters try and see the film, OK? I can't speak for the book, but I can speak for Ang Lee as a film maker of great poetry, the film as one of the most effective blendings of real life visuals and special effects I've encountered, and the central performance as perhaps my favorite film performance so far this year (allowing that I haven't seen Lincoln and apparently Daniel Day Lewis is a great actor, but I think we all already knew that).
For it's immersive and striking use of 3D to develop a compelling story as told by a recognized film maker an immediate comparison that comes to mind is Hugo, Martin Scorceses' film from last year and also his first foray into 3D and one of the first films after Avatar that people went around seeing it was enhanced the experience to see it in that format. Except for me, Hugo was completely artificial, from it's visuals which were completely computer animated to it's performances and it's sentiment it felt calculated to the point of maudlin inauthenticity compared to Life of Pi. And mind you, Hugo is a different film with a very different message and is fundamentally supposed to be the film maker's love letter to the art of film making or whatever it was I read in reviews of the film and am parroting back.
But Life of Pi for me spoke to the depth of the human experience, and the search for meaning against a back drop of brutality, beauty and the omni present drive to survive whatever horrible things transpire. And ultimately the film for me was about the role of religion and mythology in making the harsh discordance of our experiences palatable and understandable.
Which again, as a non religious person, really spoke to me. Especially because, repeating myself, being a non religious person that's something I don't get or understand... being able to place your total faith in a power greater than yourself or in the idea that a power greater than you or your conception exists and entering into rituals that reaffirm that feeling and it being the fundamental thing from which you draw meaning or the power to go on living or whatever the purpose religion serves for any individual. It's super foreign to me. But unlike some religious people who may disdain it or find it distasteful... I enjoy seeing an instance of this wherein it's celebrated with such beauty and sensitivity, and it reminds me of the argument I always want to articulate in favor of religion that being that it's inspired so much art work of incredible, breath taking beauty.
I mean, right? Come on other atheists, Handel's messiah? The sistene chapel? Examples of spiritually informed art not from Western Culture... uh, the pyramids! That's something! Buddhist art too! Yeah, all incredible works of art the experience of which has enriched the human experience for literally countless lives across generations, you have to admit that's worthwhile. And even if religion is a source for a lot of problems, it can be a worth while lens through which to consider the world even if it's foreign to you or you've chosen to distance yourself from it because it was the lens through which so, so much of the human experience has been considered through out human history, right?
As an atheist trying to understanding the role and the experience of religion, I can have faith in at least that much.
Showing posts with label art. Show all posts
Showing posts with label art. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Blogcasting? Podblogging? (with a sidebar on dreams)
I've thinking about it and blogging about my desire to do it, and this past Sunday it happened; I recorded my first podcast. I should say we had our first recording session, we being my friend Jesse from Rebels Without Applause who I knew to be a generally funny guy, a good improvisor (especially with voice based characters which are the basis of what I want to do) and basically up for anything. So I met up a microphone in the middle of my living room, plugged into my laptop and we started going. Unfortunately, I did a poor job of setting up Garageband and some of our funniest stuff from the two or three hours of hanging out we did was lost but such is life. What remained was about two hours of material, which I've cut down to forty five minutes and which I'm continuing to massage, trimming pauses, false starts, umms those sorts of things and adding transitional music where appropriate.
One thing I've learned so far from this process is that making your own stuff, and doing it well, is a difficult and time consuming process. Especially when your working in a medium like say film or radio where you have to painstakingly comb over every piece for usable material, organize those pieces into piles and then compile them into a whole that makes sense and is effective at conveying your theme or message or whatever.
But anyway, the first episode is done, it's online here http://mikehandelman.podbean.com/, so I guess in addition to this blog I now have a "podblog" or whatever that's supposed to be. I have limited storage space, so I might need to upgrade to a paid account for like $2 a month which isn't bad... until we fucking EXPLODE AM I RIGHT?! No of course that won't happen. Do you know how easy it is to do something like this and how many people are out there doing it, many of whom are much more experienced and better at it than I am? Lots, that's how many.
This brings to mind a tension that sometimes becomes a problem in my relationships with fellow artists and actually hit a violent boiling point to where someone I've considered a friend for a while has declared he won't talk to me after I perhaps too harshly criticized his idea, which I found rather extreme and outlandish as an in to the entertainment industry and questioned his ability to actually do it, which he took as unsupportive and insulting in the extreme and I've been feeling bad about since. This habit of unerring rationalism of mine, and my sometimes poor filter, alienated a bunch of my friends in high school as well when they were really into writing hyper ambitious genre screen plays which they then planned to film using the school's TV equipment. I would point out how A) violent they tended to be, and B) called for a level of production values we simply didn't have access to, and they would get pissed and we'd argue and I wouldn't back down because I was a stupid 17 year old and after a while they stopped talking to me. Which is understandable because I was always being negative, even if I thought I was being constructive and I was probably pretty frustrating and irritating to deal with at the time. Losing those friendships, especially so close to the end of high school, made me pretty sad.
And I think there is a tendency towards a manic quality in creative people, and to an extent in myself which I try extremely hard to be self aware about but which other creatives may or may not, especially when their in the middle of on these manic phases. So they'll lay out their ambitious screen play idea (more often than not it's a screen play idea) and I'll poke various holes in how difficult it is to write a good screenplay or make something produceable on the level of a very small time film producer and they'll get frustrated. Or you know, that conversation with your (possibly intoxicated) actor friend about how their going to be a movie star, and I'll usually say "the likelihood of that happening is nigh impossible" and they'll ask me "well don't you have some big dream? Don't you want to shoot for the stars?"
And yeah, I do, sort of. I allow myself to indulge in grand fantasies of movie stardom every once in a while, but in my mind the path of seriously considering those possibilities leads primarily to disappointment and failure. Both of which are simply parts of life and especially part of being any kind of an artist where it's incredibly difficult to get anything to catch on commercially on any kind of large scale, much less to the point of being able to support yourself... and so I make that my big dream, that small goal to support myself as an artist. Occasionally I allow myself the slightly bigger dream of doing that while making work I'm truly satisfied by. Then we go into the realm of large scale commercial success or recognition or whatever. And that's not why I want to be an artist, it's just for the joy of art.
As is the case I'm sure for all or most of my peers, certainly for those I feel close to. But sometimes they allow themselves bigger dreams than I do. And when confronted with those dreams, my reaction is similar to when I see that in myself, I try to bring them to Earth. Sometimes too harshly, like in the case of my friend, who misunderstand that and took as a personal slight and offense or declaration that he wasn't good enough or as good as me or whatever. Which wasn't the case. I tried to explain that, he hasn't responded. And it could be that friendship is lost to me, or that he'll come around, I don't know. I don't know where he's at, after the provoking exchange I saw him several times before he left and we seemed cool before I got his message condemning me. So I wonder if something else is going on to put him in that headspace, I can only speculate. And feel a certain amount of sadness, which has been very distracting from the work I've been trying to do getting this modest podcasting project to resemble something I can happy with...
Anyway, it's a problem, how to be both supportive of friends and their endeavors and also truthful and honest and how to know when someone wants to hear honesty or just faith and support, which are not mutually exclusive. Even if I don't believe in an idea, I can still believe in a person. I don't know, I shouldn't say anymore in case they read this. I want to talk about my feelings of frustration and even anger at being unjustly condemned for expressing an honest thought, and so far after the fact. But it wouldn't make a difference.
I just have to keep my head in the game and keep moving forward. I feel like I've made a lot of progress this summer. I grew and discovered so much studying movement, and portraying Alfred. I began learning the principles of editing video and now podcasting, all of which is very exciting. Thinking of the future, I know it will hold more frustration like I'm feeling now. And struggle, oh God will it hold struggle. But also hope for friendship and art which are the truly essential things in life.
One thing I've learned so far from this process is that making your own stuff, and doing it well, is a difficult and time consuming process. Especially when your working in a medium like say film or radio where you have to painstakingly comb over every piece for usable material, organize those pieces into piles and then compile them into a whole that makes sense and is effective at conveying your theme or message or whatever.
But anyway, the first episode is done, it's online here http://mikehandelman.podbean.com/, so I guess in addition to this blog I now have a "podblog" or whatever that's supposed to be. I have limited storage space, so I might need to upgrade to a paid account for like $2 a month which isn't bad... until we fucking EXPLODE AM I RIGHT?! No of course that won't happen. Do you know how easy it is to do something like this and how many people are out there doing it, many of whom are much more experienced and better at it than I am? Lots, that's how many.
This brings to mind a tension that sometimes becomes a problem in my relationships with fellow artists and actually hit a violent boiling point to where someone I've considered a friend for a while has declared he won't talk to me after I perhaps too harshly criticized his idea, which I found rather extreme and outlandish as an in to the entertainment industry and questioned his ability to actually do it, which he took as unsupportive and insulting in the extreme and I've been feeling bad about since. This habit of unerring rationalism of mine, and my sometimes poor filter, alienated a bunch of my friends in high school as well when they were really into writing hyper ambitious genre screen plays which they then planned to film using the school's TV equipment. I would point out how A) violent they tended to be, and B) called for a level of production values we simply didn't have access to, and they would get pissed and we'd argue and I wouldn't back down because I was a stupid 17 year old and after a while they stopped talking to me. Which is understandable because I was always being negative, even if I thought I was being constructive and I was probably pretty frustrating and irritating to deal with at the time. Losing those friendships, especially so close to the end of high school, made me pretty sad.
And I think there is a tendency towards a manic quality in creative people, and to an extent in myself which I try extremely hard to be self aware about but which other creatives may or may not, especially when their in the middle of on these manic phases. So they'll lay out their ambitious screen play idea (more often than not it's a screen play idea) and I'll poke various holes in how difficult it is to write a good screenplay or make something produceable on the level of a very small time film producer and they'll get frustrated. Or you know, that conversation with your (possibly intoxicated) actor friend about how their going to be a movie star, and I'll usually say "the likelihood of that happening is nigh impossible" and they'll ask me "well don't you have some big dream? Don't you want to shoot for the stars?"
And yeah, I do, sort of. I allow myself to indulge in grand fantasies of movie stardom every once in a while, but in my mind the path of seriously considering those possibilities leads primarily to disappointment and failure. Both of which are simply parts of life and especially part of being any kind of an artist where it's incredibly difficult to get anything to catch on commercially on any kind of large scale, much less to the point of being able to support yourself... and so I make that my big dream, that small goal to support myself as an artist. Occasionally I allow myself the slightly bigger dream of doing that while making work I'm truly satisfied by. Then we go into the realm of large scale commercial success or recognition or whatever. And that's not why I want to be an artist, it's just for the joy of art.
As is the case I'm sure for all or most of my peers, certainly for those I feel close to. But sometimes they allow themselves bigger dreams than I do. And when confronted with those dreams, my reaction is similar to when I see that in myself, I try to bring them to Earth. Sometimes too harshly, like in the case of my friend, who misunderstand that and took as a personal slight and offense or declaration that he wasn't good enough or as good as me or whatever. Which wasn't the case. I tried to explain that, he hasn't responded. And it could be that friendship is lost to me, or that he'll come around, I don't know. I don't know where he's at, after the provoking exchange I saw him several times before he left and we seemed cool before I got his message condemning me. So I wonder if something else is going on to put him in that headspace, I can only speculate. And feel a certain amount of sadness, which has been very distracting from the work I've been trying to do getting this modest podcasting project to resemble something I can happy with...
Anyway, it's a problem, how to be both supportive of friends and their endeavors and also truthful and honest and how to know when someone wants to hear honesty or just faith and support, which are not mutually exclusive. Even if I don't believe in an idea, I can still believe in a person. I don't know, I shouldn't say anymore in case they read this. I want to talk about my feelings of frustration and even anger at being unjustly condemned for expressing an honest thought, and so far after the fact. But it wouldn't make a difference.
I just have to keep my head in the game and keep moving forward. I feel like I've made a lot of progress this summer. I grew and discovered so much studying movement, and portraying Alfred. I began learning the principles of editing video and now podcasting, all of which is very exciting. Thinking of the future, I know it will hold more frustration like I'm feeling now. And struggle, oh God will it hold struggle. But also hope for friendship and art which are the truly essential things in life.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Making Your Own Stuff
I was listening to one of my podcasts the other day, and one of the hosts, I think it might have been Kevin Pollak, said something to the effect of "if you're not creating, you're waiting". And you know, it's true. If you're a creative person, you're either waiting for someone to give you an opportunity to do something (which can take a long time as an actor) or you're making your own opportunities. Right now is the best time ever to be any kind of an amateur musician, the internet and digital technology have so throughly leveled the playing field that no matter what your vision is, you can find a way to achieve it. That's music though, and the nature modern of musicianship and today's digital recording and synth technology is you can collaborate purely with yourself and a computer and no one else to make just about anything.
Less so with acting, which is inherently both interpretive and collaborative. Generally as an actor you're pulling from some kind of material either in the literal or metaphorical sense, which you interpret through your performance into art. Usually that mean's a script. But I think it can be defined even more generally as just a medium. You need some kind of physical medium in addition to an intellectual or spiritual starting point of some kind. It used be that film making was incredibly prohibitively expensive because of the cost of film stock, to say nothing of editing and communicating all that material to the outside world. Of course no longer so with the internet and Youtube so thousands and millions of aspiring creators are as we speak slaving away at their attempt to get beyond the confines of their physical reality and touch someone far away, and maybe feel something back. And maybe make a life out of doing that, of connecting with an audience, because isn't the truest and purest nature of acting? Just connecting with another person, either on stage or on camera (or on a microphone) who's either their with you in the work or seeing it happen or what you made it into. An audience. And the internet is a giant access hub to the entire world.
So if you want to be a professionally creative person, like I do and maybe you do as well, you have to be channeling that creativity somehow right now and getting it to the outside world of you're making a big mistake and missing out on the opportunity to find out what you do and get as good as you can at it. Did how I mention how easy the internet makes it to receive criticism of your work? If it's constructive or not is completely besides the point.
I'm frustrated at myself for making that mistake every day that I don't pursue developing and sharing my own voice as an actor, by writing and performing my own stuff into a camera or a microphone and out into the world. I've been making that mistake quite frequently, exceptions being when I write this blog, or the little bit of music making I've been doing. Or my foray into video blogging, which I have to continue but am still intimidated by the naked feeling of being on camera.
What I really think could be personal medium though, might be podcasting. Ever since I was very young, and I was just a goofy little kid and then adolescent, I've liked making characters and a lot of that was always in my voice. That practice was what ultimately lead to me booking Crooked Arrows, and a number of the other creative experiences I've had in my life. One of my favorite things to do because I get to make those kinds of goofy voices, is improv comedy. Improv is great for me because it removes the pressure I feel when I try to write my own stuff to act out, and instead I just get my brain working in real time and enact all the different parts in the moment through the inherent sensibility of my own voice and mind.
All you need to put out a podcast is a microphone and an internet connection. As it so happens, left over from when in late high school I fancied myself an amateur producer and audio engineer, I have a collection of rather nice microphones and a nice 4 channel mixing board, and also a very effective USB input to my computer's sound card. And an internet connection. Everything needed to make well... a podcast. Even if it's just me talking to myself. But I would like it to be with other people.
So I posted to Facebook, I'm supposed to be meeting with someone next week, and now that I sort of have an idea that I think could work I've written some emails. Exciting, I know! I'm posting this to my blog so that I will accountability... I am starting a podcast! Look it for it in your iTunes or RSS feed in the near future!
PS This might have been the most pretentious post I've ever written DEAL WITH IT
Less so with acting, which is inherently both interpretive and collaborative. Generally as an actor you're pulling from some kind of material either in the literal or metaphorical sense, which you interpret through your performance into art. Usually that mean's a script. But I think it can be defined even more generally as just a medium. You need some kind of physical medium in addition to an intellectual or spiritual starting point of some kind. It used be that film making was incredibly prohibitively expensive because of the cost of film stock, to say nothing of editing and communicating all that material to the outside world. Of course no longer so with the internet and Youtube so thousands and millions of aspiring creators are as we speak slaving away at their attempt to get beyond the confines of their physical reality and touch someone far away, and maybe feel something back. And maybe make a life out of doing that, of connecting with an audience, because isn't the truest and purest nature of acting? Just connecting with another person, either on stage or on camera (or on a microphone) who's either their with you in the work or seeing it happen or what you made it into. An audience. And the internet is a giant access hub to the entire world.
So if you want to be a professionally creative person, like I do and maybe you do as well, you have to be channeling that creativity somehow right now and getting it to the outside world of you're making a big mistake and missing out on the opportunity to find out what you do and get as good as you can at it. Did how I mention how easy the internet makes it to receive criticism of your work? If it's constructive or not is completely besides the point.
I'm frustrated at myself for making that mistake every day that I don't pursue developing and sharing my own voice as an actor, by writing and performing my own stuff into a camera or a microphone and out into the world. I've been making that mistake quite frequently, exceptions being when I write this blog, or the little bit of music making I've been doing. Or my foray into video blogging, which I have to continue but am still intimidated by the naked feeling of being on camera.
What I really think could be personal medium though, might be podcasting. Ever since I was very young, and I was just a goofy little kid and then adolescent, I've liked making characters and a lot of that was always in my voice. That practice was what ultimately lead to me booking Crooked Arrows, and a number of the other creative experiences I've had in my life. One of my favorite things to do because I get to make those kinds of goofy voices, is improv comedy. Improv is great for me because it removes the pressure I feel when I try to write my own stuff to act out, and instead I just get my brain working in real time and enact all the different parts in the moment through the inherent sensibility of my own voice and mind.
All you need to put out a podcast is a microphone and an internet connection. As it so happens, left over from when in late high school I fancied myself an amateur producer and audio engineer, I have a collection of rather nice microphones and a nice 4 channel mixing board, and also a very effective USB input to my computer's sound card. And an internet connection. Everything needed to make well... a podcast. Even if it's just me talking to myself. But I would like it to be with other people.
So I posted to Facebook, I'm supposed to be meeting with someone next week, and now that I sort of have an idea that I think could work I've written some emails. Exciting, I know! I'm posting this to my blog so that I will accountability... I am starting a podcast! Look it for it in your iTunes or RSS feed in the near future!
PS This might have been the most pretentious post I've ever written DEAL WITH IT
Friday, June 15, 2012
Reeling It In
As is often the nature of art, I'll probably change my mind later, but in this moment I've decided to put an end to my reel editing process. Over the past two weeks or whatever I've been working on it, I've come to a new version or structure just about every time or every day I've sat down to work on it. I've gone through at least a dozen different drafts, adding things, subtracting things, putting things back in, remembering pieces of footage I hadn't thought of at first and thinking "oh actually that's really funny" then reworking another existing piece, then taking something else out, extending one thing, shortening another, lengthening something back to it's original length, shortening something again... on and on. Well, I have a cut which is running two minutes and twenty seconds, has good momentum, some really nice segues, is generally fun to watch and ends on an up beat note. So you know what? Good. Let's go with that, and stop fussing around endlessly. It's tough with this kind of stuff, because there is no one "best version", every different piece has it's own merits as do the possible relationships between pieces in terms of order and length, etc. If I were cutting together a skit or short film, it'd be much easier, because there would be a linear story and it would be possible to find the most effective way of communicating that story as succinctly as possible. But this is just me, so what's the best way of showcasing that, again as succinctly as possible?
My understanding, and this makes sense, is that with a demo reel, the shorter the better. The perfect length I've been told is two minutes, less than three minutes tops, three or over is indulgent. Also though, this is from the perspective of professional agents and casting directors. Eventually, I would like those people to see my reel, but probably they won't be seeing at least this particular version. And part of the reason it should be two minutes is because those people are busy and they don't watch something longer and if you give them a whole five minute short or whatever it's amateurish and demonstrates you don't understand that principle. It's pretty much true of all casting and auditions, they know within 30 seconds whether or not they'll like you. And if you want someone to respect a piece of footage demoing you, give them the very best of you that you can. Take that clip that's 30 or 45 seconds and make it 15, cut off the fat and keep the absolute best stuff. That's my philosophy.
What I was starting to get at though, is the other side of the coin, because really the people who at this point I'm more likely to use this on are people closer to my level, independent creators who probably have day jobs and don't necessarily have a bajillion headshots to sort through like a higher level producer might be dealing with. So probably, if your clip is closer to three minutes, they'll watch it. And if they see seven separate clips of you acting, their more likely to be impressed by that volume of work because again they don't have a bajillion headshots.
So admittedly, I actually have two cuts, one which is nice and lean at 2:20, and another more indulgent one with a few extra bits that runs about 30 seconds longer. The shorter version will definitely go on IMDB, the longer one maybe Youtube but I'm not sure. I'd link to it, but I haven't put it online yet and I'll just put it to Facebook and you'll see it there like you saw this.
My understanding, and this makes sense, is that with a demo reel, the shorter the better. The perfect length I've been told is two minutes, less than three minutes tops, three or over is indulgent. Also though, this is from the perspective of professional agents and casting directors. Eventually, I would like those people to see my reel, but probably they won't be seeing at least this particular version. And part of the reason it should be two minutes is because those people are busy and they don't watch something longer and if you give them a whole five minute short or whatever it's amateurish and demonstrates you don't understand that principle. It's pretty much true of all casting and auditions, they know within 30 seconds whether or not they'll like you. And if you want someone to respect a piece of footage demoing you, give them the very best of you that you can. Take that clip that's 30 or 45 seconds and make it 15, cut off the fat and keep the absolute best stuff. That's my philosophy.
What I was starting to get at though, is the other side of the coin, because really the people who at this point I'm more likely to use this on are people closer to my level, independent creators who probably have day jobs and don't necessarily have a bajillion headshots to sort through like a higher level producer might be dealing with. So probably, if your clip is closer to three minutes, they'll watch it. And if they see seven separate clips of you acting, their more likely to be impressed by that volume of work because again they don't have a bajillion headshots.
So admittedly, I actually have two cuts, one which is nice and lean at 2:20, and another more indulgent one with a few extra bits that runs about 30 seconds longer. The shorter version will definitely go on IMDB, the longer one maybe Youtube but I'm not sure. I'd link to it, but I haven't put it online yet and I'll just put it to Facebook and you'll see it there like you saw this.
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