Movie Making

I had a feeling this might happen, but rather than allow myself to believe it and face disappointment I tried to forget about it, not think about it, and act as if it wouldn't. But now it is. I booked the role in the movie.

Pinch me; am I dreaming? But wait, this was never really my dream, not yet anyway. My dream for after I graduate was to join EMC, not SAG, to book a role in a show with a stipend like Company One or if I dared dream so big Actors Shakespeare Project. I do enjoy doing film, certainly as much as doing theatre, maybe even more I don't know yet. And I'm interested in pursuing film later on in life, but in my "life plan" that would come later after establishing myself as a stage actor. Certainly when opportunity knocked I was not going to stand still, however, and when the initial invite from Boston Casting came to my email, auditions for a movie "Crooked Arrows" of course I RSVP'd "yes", prepared the side as well as I could, and went down there. When the words came out of my mouth the casting director said "that was awesome!" and I was on my way. "Oh I bet I'll get a callback", then I thought "no better not to think about it, just believe that I won't" but then... I did. And that went extremely well. "Please slate your name and union affiliation" she said. "Hi my name is Mike Handelman and I am non union" I said into the camera, to which the director replied "non union? We'll fix that!"

Fast forward I'm home, waiting on the phone to ring, waiting, wondering "what is this going to mean for the month of August, I'm doing this play, my quiz, everything else" meanwhile New York is about to happen, I'm out of school, I'm checking all the pages for auditions, trying to keep myself from post undergraduate free fall. Yesterday the phone rings, and I got the job.

I think in acting, especially when you start out, it's not just getting "a big break" it's about ascending from one level to the next level. Obviously, doing this one job won't make me a movie star, or even a successful actor, however one quantifies success. But it is a step in that direction, and it is the next level of work I want to be doing, the kind that pays.

Did I mention that this gig pays? Oh shit does it pay. Blog you later, probably after 36 hours of shooting in three days.

Tension

I had a lesson in Alexander Technique earlier today, and found myself to be very tense, more so than usual. As many of you probably know, in acting/movement classes they'll do some variation of exercise wherein you try to release as much tension as you can from some part of your body, probably your neck. I'm pretty good at identifying tension and letting it go, when called to do so, but today it was difficult not to keep putting tension into my neck when the teacher would move it. I explained to her part of it had to do with my callback last week and my show this weekend, the question of scheduling if the call back comes to fruition. Another issue being my mother. She just came out of surgery I guess last week, or the week before last. She had both her knee caps operated on, and partially replaced with prosthetics. I've seen her a few times since the surgery, and it's been difficult. She's keeping her spirits up, and at the end of the healing process she'll be much better for it, but it's not easy for anybody.

And about that call back... well, it went really well. Really, really well if I do say so myself. I walked in, slated "hi my name is Mike Handelman and I'm non union" to which the director responded "We'll fix that!" and I did the sides they'd given me, got a few warm laughs from the room, and was let go. There was at least one other guy there for my part. I had a moral quandary on the way out, they'd posted new sides on the website and called to let me know, but they must not have informed this guy or else he didn't get the message or didn't have them, which I did. He asked to see them, I hesitated to give them and he dropped it. I gave him a pat on the back and left. The point is I held on to the advantage I found myself in possession of, rather than sharing it. I felt a little bad afterwards, and I do know as I type this. I'm waiting for a phone call. I spoke to my friend about his experiences with Boston Casting and doing features and stuff, he asked when they were shooting, I said August and he said I could expect not to hear for a while. He gave me a good strategy as to how to write them and find out my status, and told me not to think about it. Clearly, I still am. Knowing would be nice. It might make August complicated, seeing as I have things I'm supposed to be doing but that I would have to drop or rearrange if I'm offered this part. Said part would also probably mean getting my SAG card and then possibly making a bunch of movie. I'm less interested in the money then the step forward this would represent for my career, and the potential experience.

Seriously though, not thinking about it. Thinking instead about The Muse which is going up this weekend in New York. I'm staying at my uncle's place in Manhattan and it's pretty fucking exciting. We're one of forty plays, some number of which will be published and one lucky play write will get a deal for artistic representation, which is pretty huge. The possibilities for us actors are there, but more abstract. I'm just going to act my ass off and do some touristy stuff in between.

In other news, I've started A Song of Ice and Fire AKA A Game of Thrones and I've almost finished the first novel. I thought I might finish it on my way to my Alexander lesson so I bought the second book this morning, but I'm still working on the first and enjoying it greatly.

In the meantime, waiting...

callback

Tomorrow is a big call back for me, it's for a role in the movie Crooked Arrows which is shooting in Boston this summer. "What kind of movie?" you ask, "A student film, an independent, that sort of thing?" No a real studio movie, the kind that takes a SAG card, I imagine. Which I don't have, but if I get this that could mean getting one. But then again I'm just dreaming. First I have to book the gig, and that's always easier said than done. And then I would need to figure out the month of August, I don't know what the shooting commitment would like, or how it would interact with everything else. Still, isn't the possibility exciting? I feel it's a good omen. It was one of two auditions that Boston Casting brought me in for in two weeks, another was for a commercial for the game Madden which I know I didn't get, because that was awkward as fuck and could you ever see me in a commercial for a video game about Football? Answer: Yah dude, nah bro. Such is life. Meanwhile, the mellow portion of my summer "vacation" is ending, rehearsals are beginning, the wheel turns. The Muse goes to New York the weekend after next, wow, so soon. That's been a fun challenge, revisiting that material but with a new scene partner. I could do the same things I did in the previous production, but that'd be stupid, and not very good art. I'm taking this opportunity, or trying to, to find new things and listen, listen, listen.

Rosencratz and Guildenstern started yesterday, I missed today's rehearsal because I had my quiz but then that was cancelled when no one showed up again. Bummer. Friday I have a show with my improv troupe, yay!

Stand up has come to a stand still. But this Tuesday I shall ascend the stage at the Middle East once more to try out some new jokes. People who've done it ask me if I've become "addicted" to it yet, and clearly, no I haven't. But I admire the craft of it, and I want to get better at it for the sake of getting better, if nothing else. I'm in no real hurry, though.

That's where I'm at.

Conversation

It's been a while since I posted, and I should keep this thing going.

I would talk about stand up, but the past two weeks I've skipped the open mic. I think next week I will try and go. Except next week I have Rosencratz and Guildenstern in Jamaica Plain... that might not work. I have done a little bit of joke writing. Specifically two premises that I reworked in the past few weeks. I can of course, rework them some more, but I'd like to get on stage and try them that way. We'll see.

More on my mind is auditions. I had one Tuesday, Wednesday and one on Thursday which is technically today. Two of them are paying! One was an Emerson student film which I must not have gotten. I sort of like auditioning for student films because who gives a shit either way, it's a student film. Wednesday's was at Brandeis, also a student film, and a pain in the ass to get to. I thought it went well. You can never know. Tomorrow I'm going out for an online sports caster in a movie about a lacrosse team. I'm a little anxious about how to big to play it. I think my best bet is just to be myself. It's cool I got called in for it.

My shows I'm doing are starting. One of them is going up soon, in New York! Exciting! This summer has been so far so good. I like the weather reflecting that it's summer. I don't mind heat so much, especially that my hair is all short now.

My friend and I have started doing sketch stuff, which may turn into a little webseries kind of thing, we'll see. I want to write and shoot it this summer. Easier said then done. That's all I have to say, I should go back to sleep.

Finding the Punch

Another post about stand up. Tuesday is the next Middle East open mic, I'm back on forth on whether to go and do it or not. I talked to a friend in my improv troupe yesterday who spent many years doing work as a stand up, and she was encouraging, which was nice. One suggestion she had, which I'm aware of but haven't started doing yet, is recording yourself on stage to listen to later, which I think whenever I do it next I'll be trying.

I feel anxiety about the preparedness of my material. Not having really throughly prepared material hasn't stopped me from going up and doing it the past two weeks, but I feel like I need to fix that, that I need to get into a mode of WORKING on jokes (call back to a conversation I had with my friend James about working, don't worry you aren't supposed to get it), actively crafting them, but I don't feel the motivation, or the sense that I'd really know where to start in honing them and finding the punch (as in punch line) behind them. I have several premises, one or two one liners and several other ideas and stories floating in my head, a few of which I've tried to varying levels of success. It's tough only having five minutes, or this last time I did it when I got cut off early (which is what I get for showing up late) to work through material. Which is an argument for working on it off stage, and going up as much as possible.

Except I feel... lazy. Stand up isn't the same rush for me as is acting. But I feel compelled to pursue it. Ironic that I'm simultaneously lazy. People are impressed when I tell them about it, which is cool I guess. They say it must be exciting, and I respond "well it's very difficult".

This reminds me of an extremely awkward encounter I had waiting for the red line the other day. An elderly woman comes up to me, "are you Mike Handelman?" I tell that yes, I am, she lives around the corner from the Loeb and saw me last summer in Speech and Debate and then in Measure for Measure and wanted to know if I was doing Harvard Summer Theatre again which no, I am not, and I thanked her. It's nice to think that something about what I did in those shows made her remember my name, and that she wanted to see more of my work. It was awkward meeting a fan. I stumbled over my words somewhat in speaking to her, not because I was nervous but because it was simply strange and new.

Other things... I had a callback today. Not sure if I got it, haven't heard anything. Fingers crossed, although if I do get it, it will make things complicated with my other show which goes up about a month before. I did this same thing all of this past year, and it was pretty difficult, not crazy about repeating the process. But I need the experience and the credits, so if I do get it I'll have to say yes.

Tomorrow (today? it's Monday which I guess technically is today already) is my last Shakespeare class. What a ride it's been, I've certainly learned a lot. I'm a little nervous for our final presentation in front of a small audience. I'm sure I'll be fine, but I'd really like for my scene to go well, and it's been a challenge getting it from point A to point B.

In the meantime it's June going on July, I'm not rehearsing anything (yet), I'm just in summer mode. Summertime, and the living is easy, etc. I think I want to apply to grad schools this year. I just realized if I'm going to do that, I need to start sooner rather than later. Would you like to write me a letter of recommendation? No, I'm kidding. But seriously would you?

Standing Up Part II

Stand update (see what I did there?), last night I returned to the open mic and gave stand up yet another go. Whereas last time I emailed ahead for a slot, this time I rolled in around 11 and signed up in person, waited an hour or so, and went up after midnight with the joint more or less in after hours mode. Another change was that I loosened up a bit this time with a few beers, which seems like an obvious thing to do at any kind of open mic in a bar, but this added step definitely aided my efforts, which were improved over last time. It helped having some sense of moral support, having chatted with a few of the other dudes there, with whom I shared some mutual acquaintances, and the dude before me being so super high crazy energetic (he dropped a lot of gay slurs in his act in various contexts not in an explicitly offensive way but sort of in the Brechtian sense, at least I think that's what was going on) I went up and tried to match it. I then went into an extremely lewd routine about sex and the umm... culinary qualities. Ok let's cut to the chase it was about swallowing ejaculate. And in the middle of this bit, a scantily clad girl who was there for the Middle East's weekly 18 and up club night wanders through the open mic section of the club and I have to stop and say "OK why did she have to walk through right then?" which cracked the audience up, as well as myself, and although I got a huge response it kind of killed my momentum. But still! A response! It was a little frustrating also that since I was going up so late, my time was less than the standard five minutes, so I only really got through that bit and one very short one before I brought the next guy up, but oh well.

So where am I at with stand up? Well it's nice to feel some improvement from one week to the next, definitely. I know I need to continue honing my material, obviously, which is unto itself a life long pursuit. I wonder if to improve my writing I should start writing sketches and plays and those other things I've been meaning to try as a means to improve my overall sense of wording. I'll get there eventually. In the meantime, I may wait a week or two before standing up again, and take some time to do some of that honing I talked about, and really fill my five minutes WITH BITS!

Guitar Post

I had a dentist's appointment this afternoon, and it so happens my dentist is in Kenmore and before heading over there I had a significant amount of time to kill... Guitar Center time! For a musician, well I guess for a guitarist, there is a kid in a candy store quality to hanging out at Guitar Center. All those instruments and amps and toys to play with! Previously I hadn't been able to find the newly relocated GC and settled for Daddy's Junky Music by Berklee, where I greatly enjoyed playing a Godin archtop guitar, something about that guitar really came alive in my hands. Conversely, a Godin single bridge humbucker "shreddy" guitar really didn't do anything for me after well, shredding on it for 30 seconds. Today I really enjoyed a Fender Telecaster through a Fender Amp, I think if I were to get a new guitar I'd get a tele. There is a real beauty and versatility in the simplicity of those instruments, I think.

I find as of late I have less and less mental space for guitar, although it goes up and down. I know that if I really focused on the instrument and the study of music there is another level I could reach, but I'm frankly kind of too lazy, and too concerned with bringing my acting further. It's something I've written about in other spaces. Another contributing factor has been my inability to forge long lasting collaborations with other musicians, like say... a band, which is like being in a second relationship with no sexual intercourse but requiring a great deal of effort, and which doesn't work if all parties don't contribute.

Maybe someday I'll have the time to achieve what I want to on my instrument. I guess it's kind of a "first world problem", a lot of people are truly passionate about music but can't advance past a certain point. I can't really foresee music for me as anything other than a highly enjoyable hobby and a useful special skill. Someday I'd kind of like to be one of those people who are proficient at guitar, bass, drums and piano. Now THAT would take some doing on my part, as I'm not so naturally musically talented as to be immediately proficient at all those.

I've been downloading a lot more music now that I have a new computer with a big empty hard drive. Right now I'm listening to some pretty tasty jazz fusion from John Mclaughlin. Then again I find his newer stuff kind of sterile. I got some Grant Green as well, which is not sterile and some Derek Trucks. Lots of guitar music. And that's what this post has been about.